Significant Event Paper: The Loss of A Mother

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The transformation of a man, and the struggle of dealing with someone losing their Mother.

Submitted: May 03, 2012

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Submitted: May 03, 2012

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In life one will endure many up’s and down’s, good times and bad times. No matter who the individual may be, theres a good chance at some point in their life they will encounter a significant event that will alter their life. People say it is how you bounce back from that event that makes you who you are. I feel its an accumulation of what happens before, during and after that makes a person who they truly are. If you asked me before December 27th, 2011 at 8:15a.m., I would have told you that the most significant thing that happened to me was a severe car accident, were I was ejected from a car with two other people during my senior year of high school. But that day in December changed me. Its what has shaped me into the person I am right now and who I am going to be for the rest of my life, it was the last thing to complete who I am. December 27th, 2011 at 8:15a.m. my mothers life was taken by the demon known as Cancer.

Most people grow up not knowing what it is like to lose the one who brought them into this world until they are older, and most of the time that person leaves the earth at a later age. Not for my family. My mother was only fifty-four years “young” and I was only twenty-four. When she was diagnosed we all felt like the air was sucked out of us and were suffocated, like a fire running out of oxygen; it was then where my transformation began. The first eight months of her bout with cancer weren’t bad compared to the last four months she was alive. The everyday routine of taking her medicines to reduce the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. For a while it seemed like she was actually giving this over sized opponent a worthy fight. She experienced the birth of her first grandchild, the marriage of her daughter, her grandson’s first christmas and witnessed her youngest son receive his associates degree all in that year. Everything changed when one night I saw that she was confused and wasn’t so coherent. We brought her to Huntington Hospital, thats where her Oncologist and Pulmonary Doctor were based out of. She spent a week inside the hospital and thats when the Doctors said that she wouldn’t make it to Christmas. She was released after that week into the care of us and people from the Palliative Care program.

 

The next stage of my transformation began here.

 

Once she got home I quit my full time job but still attended classes. My sister came down from Syracuse for five weeks so she can help take care of my mother with me. We decided to take it head on and let my father and brother continue working. For those five weeks my sister and I took turns sleeping on our little love seat downstairs barely getting three hours of sleep a night so that there was always someone there for our mother. Certain things were hard to do for my mother, especially having to drag around the oxygen and with us there that wouldn’t be an issue. I’d cook, clean and do the errands most of the time so my sister didn’t have to be bothered with that, but she was stubborn so it didn’t always work out. She left to go back to her home and I took on everything. I didn’t mind because if I was in that situation my mother would never leave my side,it was the least I could do. A week after my sister went back upstate things started getting worse and we had to call in Hospice. By the time Hospice was set up, she ended up only being on it for a few days maybe a week.

Christmas came and Mom was still around, My sister came down that weekend with her husband and my little nephew Luc, yes thats his first name. Christmas morning didn’t feel the same but it was good because my mom got to see her grandson first christmas and how funny he was playing with all his toys. There the family was, all together again, little did we know it would be the last time. My sister had to leave on Christmas Day in the afternoon because she and her husband had work the next morning, so they left. I went to my girlfriends for a bit while my father and brother were home with my mom. 

 

This next part is the worst experience I have ever encountered in my life.

 

It was December 26th around 10:30p.m., I pulled up the chair next to my moms bed and was just holding her hand, resting my head her shoulder. She took her other hand started rubbing my head and gave me a kiss on my forehead. She said to me and I will never forget these words because they ended up being the last words she’d ever say, “I Love You Sean” and I said “Mom I know you don’t need to tell me.” she replied “ Yes I do” and I said “Ok mom, I Love You too.”. She got up to use the bathroom, not really a bathroom just a commode in the living room. She was just sitting there and I said “Mom, you ok. Mom!” She had no answer not even an acknowledgment of me talking. I cleaned her up, picked her up and laid her in bed. She was still breathing, just no response. I ran upstairs to get my brother and father. We all ran downstairs and this was about 11:30p.m. called my sister and woke her up, but there was nothing she could do till early morning. The whole family cam over, My Uncle (her brother), Aunt, Cousins, all to say their last goodbyes to her. I’ll never forget, I went upstairs for ten minutes to take a power nap but it didn’t even get that far. My father ran upstairs in tears and said “this is it.”. I ran downstairs went to her and whispered in her ear. Her pulse was barely existent. I gave her a kiss and took her oxygen off, and that was it she was gone.

I know this paper doesn’t signify a significant event that took place this semester, but it has impacted me a great deal. She is giving me the strength to push myself to make it in school and work. I feel like she is right there for me whenever I need her, it may not be physically but there is something that makes me sense her. She was a great women and the best mother a child could ask for. 

 

I am still not done with my transformation of becoming who I am, but I am almost there and once I have successfully completed school my journey that began because of my mother will be finished. From there I will go on to caring for people the way my mother taught me and how she would have wanted it.


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