Dumpty Humpty

My name is Humpty Dumpty, and I'm sitting on a wall. I'm clinging on for dear life, i hope I do not fall.

Oh no, I think I'm slipping, damn that rich hand cream! Then I'm falling falling on and on, hoping it's a dream.

I wake up 5 days later with a bad ache in my head. My foot is on my forehead, and my eyes are bloodshot red.

A kind nurse then explains as to why I still feel rather faint. You had a nasty fall she says, but the kingsmen were a saint.

They galloped out to rescue you in the middle of the night, but they couldn't quite put you together again and now you look a sight....