WIPE YOUR ASS...WISE ASS!

Reads: 351  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
ADVICE: ASK FOR THE MENU BEFORE ORDER...

Submitted: February 20, 2010

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 20, 2010

A A A

A A A


It was late at night, the cafeteria was almost empty, when he entered. He took a seat next to the huge and uncleaned window, starring at the empty street.The waitress relentlessly, started to come over his side.
"What do you want, sir?"
"A cup of Irish coffee, and a piece of applepie"
"We dont have such coffee"
"You do not have Irish coffee!!! What kind of place is this?!"
"Sir, I told you we do not have Irish coffee"
"What a goddamn cafeteria is this?!"
"Please sir, we have French coffee, Greek coffee..."
"Oh come on lady. Ireland is Europe too!!! You dont have Irish coffee!? For Chris's sake..."
The waitress in her cold sweat, and full with anxiety, tried not to respond.
"Coffee, is coffee lady, you ought to have all types of coffee. What I have to do call Colombus?!"
"Sir..."
"You know the guy who discovered America, and coffee from native Indians! You know this guy or you're just another one filthy waitress, who came from nowhere, just to work in a cafeteria, marry a fucking asshole, and have stupid kids wondering around, filling the world with their shit?!"
"Sir, I..."
"Oh come on, I know all of you, sluts!!!"
"Sir, but..."
"Its the 21st century bitch!!! Irish coffee is everywhere!!!"
"Sir, if you..."
"Wake up people!!!"
"I'll call the police..."
The man became silent, all of a sudden, and said.
"Just the apple pie, lady..."
The waitress, stood there starring at him.
"What the fuck are you looking at?!"
She turned her back.
"Where is the bathroom missie?"
"Next to the jukebox sir"
The man stood up and began walking to the bathroom.
"God, what a loser, you bitch" He said silently to himself.
He entered the bathroom.
"Shit! what a stench!"
There were three doors. He tried the first one.
"Shit, its locked"
The second.
"Locked too!!!"
"Hey, lady, is there a way that someone can take a shit here???!!!!"
"God!!!!"
Fortunately for him the third door was open. He took off his pants and sit on the toilet.
After he finished his "job", he noticed that there was no toilet paper.
"Hey! missie bring me some toilet paper!"
"Hey!!!" he almost screamed.
Suddenly, he heard the bathroom door open, and then close.
He heard steps, someone was coming at his way.
"Aaah! At last missie, you came to give me the paper or you want something extra? Hehe..."
Someone knocked his door.
The door opened.
A man stood there wearing weird clothes.
The man on the toilet seat starred at him voiceless.
The weird man approached him and handed him over a piece of toilet paper, and said.
"Wipe your ass, wise ass"
Then he turned his back and began to walk to the bathroom door.
"Who are you?"
"The man who discovered America, and coffee"
END...


© Copyright 2019 Lumina Sector. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments: