Food Is My Drug of Choice

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This story is about my struggle with food and my fight to drop extreme weight and my addiction to food.

Submitted: February 05, 2008

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Submitted: February 05, 2008

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Food Is My Drug of Choice
 
 
 
 
Food, a word everyone is familiar with. Anyone that hears the word “Food” gets the hidden craving that many are not aware of. We all love food we all need it to live but then there are some that take food to the next level. The level of Addiction, many don’t know they are addicted to certain foods but in reality we all are addicted to something and majority is food.
The majority of Americans are severely overweight or morbidly obese. The majority of our children are morbidly obese and when they hit adult hood they will have diabetes, heart damage, liver damage and much more if they live long enough to see adult hood. Some do not want to hear this about their ever fascination of food but lets be realistic here it’s the truth the cold facts about what is going into out bodies. I myself am guilty of being an addict of all the wrong foods. Before I knew it I was drastically overweight and did not have any idea of where I went wrong until I found out if I didn’t lose the weight I was at risk for diabetes and cardiac arrest.
I did not know it at the time but I was consuming 5000 to 8000 calories a day. Then I looked in the mirror and before I knew it was over 200lbs and a height of 5’0. I was completely disgusted I could not believe what I was seeing the mirror and on the scale, it literally churned my stomach.
I am not alone in this turmoil many people don’t realize how bad it is until they get an extreme wake up call and for others its too late because they are lying in a cemetery. I was addicted to fast food, such as, burgers, fries, pizza, tacos, frozen TV dinners and much more. I made a change I kicked all that harmful disgusting fat infested junk out of my life. I eat more healthy foods now and still losing weight which I feel a dramatic change in my energy level and attitude. But this story isn’t about my recovery; it’s about the addiction itself. I remember a time where every paycheck I would get the majority of that I would spend on food. I was completely hooked and didn’t know how to say “No” I didn’t even want to give it up. My favorite was eating at Taco Bell which I ate two or three times a week at. I would buy meals for myself that would equal up to 20 dollars or more and I would sit there and eat it all. Even when I was full I kept eating because I love having the satisfaction feeling and it was my way of coping with many other things that were going on in my life. The food made my depression worse, it caused extremely horrible bad skin and I would sweat profusely.
Late at night I would get cravings for fast food or frozen dinners and I would eat all day and all night. After I would get off work I would go and get a Sheetz frozen coffee, Mac and Cheese as a side and loaded turkey sandwich with a large bag of Doritos and that would all be gone by the time I would get home. For dinner I would go out to taco bell and get 5 soft shell tacos, 2 chicken quasideas, a large soda, and then I would order off the KFC menu and get 10 boneless honey barbeque wings along with mash potatoes and gravy. That would all be for just dinner and I would eat all of that. Then I would go to sleep which was probably the worst thing I could do is eat then sleep but after I would over fill my stomach I would just be so exhausted from eating and go straight to sleep. I endured sever chest pains because my breasts became so big that they pulled on my back and chest. I would wake up not able to breathe because the weight of my chest. I had incredible pain in my knees because the most weight I had was in my upper body. I was hopelessly lonely, and extremely depressed. With all of that going on and my body hating me for this I just kept eating. I couldn’t stop and I didn’t know how to stop. I have never been on a diet before I wasn’t active at all I never went outside because I was ashamed of how I looked. That didn’t even stop me from the compulsive eating I was enduring and hurting myself.
Then as the years went by I started to realize I need a change, I stayed sick all the time and I tried other methods to lose weight which was not safe at all. But I wised up I didn’t want this kind of lifestyle anymore because I was on the verge of a major heart attack or worse DEATH. But the cravings kept coming I couldn’t escape from them all I thought about was food all I wanted was food and it was so hard to just drive by my favorite places to eat and not stop.  At that point I knew I was hooked and I was a walking addict of food. I had to get away from it so I hid out in my house so I wouldn’t have to drive by the places and see them and smell the food that was cooking there. My method now is that I look at that stuff and I think of the most disgusting thing I can think of and compare it to the foods I used to eat. It was my fault for overeating but with that food you don’t stay full. A little while later you are hungry again. I haven’t been to those places in a long time and still to this day it’s a fight to say no. I refuse to go back to that lifestyle I am getting more active in the day, I don’t sleep right after a meal and I eat things that will stay with me longer. Although the overeating was my fault the addiction part I don’t believe was. I think these places put some kind of additive in the foods to keep you coming back for more. I am not alone in this, many people have the same problem and it’s extremely hard to go by these places and into stores and not buy our favorite foods that are the most harmful to us. I am an addict, an addict of food. It’s so easy to eat food that our bodies hate but our minds love, because these kinds of foods are the cheapest and the easiest to get too. These places are expanding and they are flourishing in millions and billions of dollars. These harmful foods that cause long term damage are legal but recreational drugs that do the same thing aren’t. What is the difference in fast food and drugs? They both kill people, they both get people hooked and get people to spend a lot of money. If you ask me there is no difference. Yeah, some fast food places sells “healthy” choices but are they really healthy? Do they have the exact calorie amount and fat amount to be accessible to the public? I have never seen it if they do. The best healthy choice I make is buying fresh vegetables and fresh fruit. Also, low fat and low calorie items, they are out there we just have to take time out of the chaotic world to actually read our choices and decide what would be best for ourselves and bodies.
The most important detail is that we ourselves have to decide to kick the junk out of our lives and make better choices in what we put in our bodies. Our Bodies will hate us if we continue the cycle of eating out day in and day out all the time. Sooner or later our bodies will give out on us do to extreme weight gain. Some have already had to learn the hard way. I myself had to learn the hard way and now I am paying for and it’s a on going struggle day to day to stay active and continue to make the right decisions for my body. I still have a ways to go but I know now I am on the right track and no more of my hard earned dollars will go to support their next heart attack. Its fine to eat out here and there but don’t get hooked like I did and it’s really hard not too because once you start out doing it once every couple of weeks it then turns into every week and then every day. Then you are hooked and they got you right where they want you. This is my story of addiction of the number one thing that America strives on FOOD. What’s your addiction? I can guarantee that whether you are addicted to drugs or food in the end they come out to be the same DEATH.
 
Michelle Fincham
2/5/2008
5:21pm


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