laws of life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is anh essay that is about my past and how it made me who i am today

Submitted: May 03, 2009

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Submitted: May 03, 2009

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 Unbreakable
 
The picture is old and a little worn on the sides with a crease in the middle. It’s of a little girl with blonde hair that looks red in the sun light. She has shorts on with a tank top and flip flops. On her left is a tall tan man with black hair and mustache. He was her biological father. On her right is a momen with red hair and red lip stick on and very pail skin. She of course is the little girl’s biological mother. They don’t look like they’re anything, or have done anything to effect anyone’s life. What you don’t know is that the two grown ups have affected someone else’s life in a very profound way. Someone who was suppose to be very close to them but ended up in a better place. Their daughter who is the little girl being held by the mother and that little girl is me. They have been a major cause for me discovering that what doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger.
I was a baby when my aunt and uncle took my biological parents to court where they “fought” for custody over me. The reason, my biological parents were both alcoholics and drug addicts. They could barely take care of them selves, none the less a child. I don't know any of the specifics. I do know the judge gave the custody to my aunt and uncle whom I proudly now call mom and dad. I grew up knowing I was adopted and on the outside it seemed as if it didn't bother me. On the outside I was happy, outgoing, funny, athletic, smart, and most of all loved. I was an A-B student, I never got in trouble, and I listened to my parents. There was no reason for someone to question my happiness and no one did.
Inside I was all of those things as well but I was also sad and hurt. I felt unloved by my biological parents. I wasn’t worth fighting for, I was never good enough for them, and it was my fault. It was my fault that I born, that I was a mistake, and it was my fault that they weren’t here with me today.  Had I done something wrong? It wasn’t my biological parent’s fault it was me. I was abandoned and my heart was suffering because of it. I never showed how I felt but the feelings were still there. The pain and sadness didn’t seem to change over time but I did. I felt numb and worthless. I was brought up in a Christian family so when I realized the agony just wasn’t going to go away I started to pray. I couldn’t deal with the hurt on my own. Until finally after two years had past since I had discovered how I felt, I could feel my heart get stronger. It seemed as if I developed a tolerance for the pain. After knowing that something had changed the anguish was then quickly replaced with love, warmth, and happiness. I had let go of any anger or hate towards my biological parents and went to live my life with my real family. I was finally ok. I know for sure that I am loved, I am worth fighting for and I am more than enough for any one. I’m unbreakable.
A heart that is in pain is scarred from the cuts and bruises and starts to lose pieces. As it gets worse the heart starts to crack and bleed. The heart begins to fall apart and is slowly dying. At that point, it tries to pull it self back together. The heart has super glue, duck tape, and band-aids holding it. Even then it’s breakable. Slowly the pain that once weakened the heart begins to make it stronger. The breakable heart then becomes indestructible. The heart realizes that what doesn’t destroy it makes it stronger. 


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