Anguish and a broken promise

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Something written in frustration and pain

Submitted: July 28, 2012

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Submitted: July 28, 2012

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I can’t keep up this lie

This lie that is life is killing me

The pain from day to day

It’s enough for me to want to end it

But there is no escape.

Not in life.

Not in death

The corners of my mind echo

With the cries I won’t call

God how I wish I could end it all

I won’t do it. I can’t do it

I wouldn’t bring that pain on you

I promised I’d stay

So here I am

But now I’m wondering

Where are you

You say you cherish me

And that you don’t want me to leave

But yet it seems

That when we meet

You have planned on being without me.

You say you want me to stick around

But I’m often ignored when excursions are made.

I’m left here to my thoughts

Which has never been safe

You know how I feel about you

But you won’t let me in

You say you’re sorry for leading me on

You say you’re sorry for being with him

But how can you be sorry

If with him you remain

I answer and help and try and comfort

And all that it has brought me is pain

You say you don’t know how you’d mange without me

But you do it every day

I promised I wouldn’t leave

So here I shall remain

Just cushion if you fall

Ready to help you up again.

Not all pain is visible

I prove that everyday

Because not all my scars are for all to see

But burn within me

Honestly I hate my life

I hate breathing everyday

I used to think that you’d make

Everything okay

But not anymore

Now I’m left behind

While your ambitions take you far

And try as I may I cannot be with you

Not by train, by bike, by plane, or by car

So I find myself sitting

Wondering how my feet will bleed

If I try and follow

I always come to the sickening conclusion that

Though I will not cry

I want to scream in anguish

No one will be there to listen

When I say goodbye

You said you’d always be there

I used to believe that

I used to tell you everything

But now I keep it all inside

It’s not your load to bear

I let emotions get in my way

I tried to make everything better

And yet as hard I may try

I don’t go noticed

I get brushed by the wayside

A hug and a kiss and a warm enclosed hand

Aren’t worth anything to me anymore

I stopped caring long ago

I stopped caring for the pain

Just as you love the rain

I started to love the end


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