A very personal poem I wrote during a period of time where I was really struggling. ****I do not feel this way anymore and have gotten the help I need****

This feeling

feeling like you’re drowning

feeling like there’s no escape

no way out

feeling like you’re alone

and better off just driving

and driving

and driving




into the unknown,

without a destination

without telling anyone

maybe for a day,

maybe forever

who knows?
just need to escape

maybe that’ll ease the pain

the pain of everyday

the pain of failing everything and everyone

the pain of having to fake it everyday

when the question gets asked

“how are you?”

for the millionth time that day

because no one wants the truth

of how you really feel

they just want to seem like they care

all the while, you’re crying,

screaming on the inside

for someone,


to save you from that darkness

every time you think

there’s a sliver of goodness,

of light,

the darkness overtakes it

and it’s gone.
just like that

sometimes you wish you were alone,

that things would be easier that way


you know the darkness would win

if you are,

and even though you’re full of pain,

you don’t want the darkness to win

so you just keep fighting

day by day

hour by hour

minute by minute

to get through the day

to make it just one more day

just one more day

and it’ll be better

just one more day

and the light will start overpowering the darkness

just one more day


that day seems like it’s at the end of a long, winding,

pitch black tunnel

and just when you think

you see the light at the other end

it’s gone

just your imagination

just a fluke

and so you’re stuck

stuck in the middle of that long,


pitch black tunnel

sitting on the cold,



with all the pain inside

bubbling to burst out of you

but you don’t know how to let it out,

so it just stays inside,

until it overflows,

and you just lay down on that cold,



to let it flow out of you

and the only thing you can feel is numb.
so numb that you wish for more pain

just so you can feel something

to know you’re still human

and the only thing you can do

is to keep wishing that eventually 



will hear your cries,

your screams for help.

Submitted: September 28, 2021

© Copyright 2023 M.D.B.. All rights reserved.

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