Monologue – Mrs. Danvers to Rebecca
The house grew dark without you.
Manderley is no more than an empty shell,
its former grandeur forever lost.
Just as you have departed, so has its glory.
And I, empty as the house,
was alone once more.
My Rebecca, you were the only one,
my guiding angel and light,
the bright glow in my otherwise dull world.
Always your loyal servant, your wish is my command.
And what honor it was, to serve under you!
Your hunger for power and delicate grace
rose you high above all else,
till you looked down upon the world.
I can see you now,
with the spirit of a boy
and strength of a lion.
No one got the better of you,
never, never!
I saw you, I was with you.
You were lovely then,
and are lovely even in death,
whose cold fingers could not mask your beauty.
Just as death stole you away,
he claimed your Manderley’s soul.
And that desperate housemaster,
oh that ghastly fool,
he replaced you.
Replaced you!
A new Mrs. de Winter,
tarnishing your rooms.
A new Mrs. de Winter,
blemishing your corridors.
A new Mrs. de Winter,
disgracing your legacy.
And what a disgrace she was!
So languid, so ill-bred,
so feeble and powerless.
She had no place in Manderley.
She could not be accepted.
She had no business here,
and no reason to stay.
The thief she is
swindled your position
as mistress of the house,
and like a haze of smoke
she blackened your rule.
It would be either my Rebecca as mistress
or no mistress at all.
And as it is my duty to serve you,
It became my duty to remove her.
Oh, the things I could have done to her!
I had that weakling cowering
with one glare.
Too easily I could influence her
into tumbling over a window pane.
Or sicken her with stories
that left you in laughter.
But she was the rotten one,
not I.
She should be disgusted at herself.
I wanted her to feel the pain you felt
in your last moments.
I felt your presence beside me,
as did she.
You were with us in the house.
You watched her every move.
You listened to her every word.
And you whispered into her mind.
You gave her little insecurities,
You confirmed her largest fears.
Oh, those were the times,
yet I missed you so very much.
It hurt to feel your presence,
yet call that loathsome child Mrs. de Winter.
But what burned most,
like an open inferno against my heart,
was your betrayal to me.
Did you not trust me enough?
I knew your every secret
and never told a soul.
Yet you kept it from me;
a visit to Doctor Baker.
Why did you keep it from me?
Why? Why?
You told me everything.
I trusted you, and you trusted me.
Or was I wrong?
Was I no more than a toy to you?
Just like you played with the men,
did you play with me?
My world was pulled from beneath my feet.
I fell into a black lake,
too deep to resurface.
A lake filled with my tears,
tears shed for you.
The devil came to fetch me
on my last day.
I was enraged, maddened,
caught up in a furious frenzy.
And like you whispered in that girl’s ear,
the devil whispered in mine.
An idea that caught fire,
burning through all other thoughts
and leaving a brilliant trail of embers
glowing in the night sky.
That night, Manderley burned.
Up in flames she went,
creaking and moaning as she went down,
and I with her.
My life had me chained like an animal,
trapped, with no escape
from the horror of knowing
I was unworthy in your eyes.
My purpose was to serve you,
and you were no longer.
My dim, wearisome life was old.
And together, we blazed brighter than any star,
scorching the world and leaving our mark.
Manderley is no more.
I am no more.
Mr. and Mrs. de Winter
were no more, for
without Manderley, they had nothing.
Our revenge has been exacted.
No more can be done.
Yet, my soul does not lie at peace.
Never would and never will,
till I find you again.
And through the skies of heaven
and the fiery pits of hell
I will follow you,
your Danny forever.
Submitted: September 21, 2012
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