Old Dogs and Horses

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
How do they know they are going to die? What sign is there that they are obedient to? I wish to keep quiet and still - maybe, I will hear that whispering message...it's time.

Submitted: May 21, 2014

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Submitted: May 21, 2014

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Old dogs and horses

Old dogs and horses know how to die.  They don’t sit there and stop breathing in front of their master.  They go off somewhere private.  They know they’ve lived a full life. They want peace and quiet.  They find a nice secluded spot:  under a porch, behind the shed, in the woods, somewhere.  You’ll find the carcass, laying still and motionless – maybe even decomposing. 

The end came and went without pomp and circumstance.  Other things that didn’t happen:  no band played, no tears were shed, and no final words were said.

 Old dogs and horses lived to serve.  As puppies and colts, they pranced and played.  They galloped and skipped, they wagged their tails when their master came near and kissed and coddled anyone that would allow them.  But as their years began to span into their lives, they learned their lot in life:  serve.  And they served gladly.  Unconditionally they would love.  They would do anything for their masters’ love.

These lessons I learned too late in my life.  I had no love.  I hated to serve.  I didn’t play well with others nor did I prance for anyone.  I am old and getting older every day.  This week I will change my phone number and not give it out.  I will move to an apartment with a church member.  No one will know my address.  This will be my last and final journey.  I will write because the words don’t turn off when the lights go out.  This will be the porch in which I will go under.  This will be my field to lay my head.

Old dogs, horses and me, we know.I tried before but, I was not good enough.  This time, I will let it play out:  no cutting, no antifreeze, and no needles.  I want to clean up my mess by disappearing one last time but without giving myself away.  Like a beautiful waltz from a great master, I wish to finish this ugly life with beauty.  When you find me, play Johann Strauss, “The Emperor’s Waltz”.  This is so beautiful.  Now, let me die in peace.  Go away.


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