The Real untold Story of Romeo and Juliet

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
There's nothing like a good country romance.
I wanted to put a country spin on Romeo and Juliet.

Submitted: April 30, 2010

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Submitted: April 30, 2010



I like ta recollect  on them days when sweet  cheeks  Romeo’n  me , woul’da take a right nice picnic  basket  and sit by the lil  crickand a listen ta them birds and bugs ‘n such. Good times.  Never brung chili; gas ain’t romantic. The sandwiches was made by me , cold chicken , mayonnaise, salt’n pepper, and white bread. I want tell ya the particular details on how I acquired the chicken but to make a long story short it was messy.

Any ways, me and pumpkin spice Romeo be a courting secret; like in them movies where them sweet girls are always a fallin’ for them rough type boys.  Like usual the pa don’t take a likin’ to him and he near bout spends half an ‘our chasin’ him off his land. My pa never fancied peachy cheeks Romeo. He told me to stay away from them types of boys, sayin’ they was bad for me. 

Me n’honey cakes were true lovers, ‘til the end a course .He’d throw lil’ old pebbles at my winder, and I’d climb out, makin’ sure not to shut it. An together we’d take off a runnin’ for a while. Well summer came around an things got ugly. It all started out when me and sweetie pie Romeo slipped out for moonlight, romantic like walk.

Me n’ sugar plum Romeo decided marriage was the proper thing for two mature sixteen year olds to do. But, as soon as we got within a few feet of the church, we seen Pastor Heineken drunk, smellin’ like fresh booze. And with no pastor to carry out the ceremony me an cherry pie Romeo started home.  Like two skinned rabbits we accepted out fate we’d a have at face my pa.

About two yards from the house, we stopped to take a quick smooch, when old Luke, my hound dog, start up a racket so loud he near bout could a woke up the dead.  He starts a howlin’ and a howlin’, and I screamed. The lights in my house start a glowin’ and my daddy comes out onto the porch there, and he starts a hollerin’, and a screamin’. In one of his arms he was carrying his trusty double barrel shot gun. He takes one look at my darlin’ Romeo and quicker than you can say jack rabbit, he pops two shots at my doll face Romeo and down he goes. And then my pa turns around and pops two shots into old Luke. Course he was almost dead anyways; but still it wasn’t a pretty sight.  Then there was silence.

A crack of lightning and the sound of thunder sounded all ‘round us like some evil sign, as my pa looked up from the dead bodies staring at me with his steely eyes.  And suddenly a slit of lightnin’ flew from the sky hittin’ my pa right smack dab on the hand that held his double barrel shotgun. Smoke rose from the tip of the barrel but my pa didn’t move one muscle.

“Well, Juliet” he says shrugging his shoulder and smiling at me “At least we’ll have something to eat tonight.”

I stared at him then at my poor innocent Romeo, wiping the saliva from my lips,

 I said, “Well I guess we do.”

The next day we buried my sweet cheeks, honey cakes, sugar pie, doll face Romeo. I guess I feel a little guilty- then again maybe not. It’s a shame he were mighty hot figure to spectate. Don’t ask me how I know. Just believe me when I say it was a mighty hot’n sizzlin’ summer.


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