Temporarily being called dad

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

This poem, titled "Temporarily being called dad", is about my dad. He really doesn't understand my mental illnesses as well as he thinks he does and it hurts quite a lot at times.

You don't understand the hurt behind your words,
And the scars they leave.
You don't understand that what you say
hurts me more

What do you think you're proving?
You let one son call me crazy
Yet the one who shouldn't know better
gets in trouble for the exact same thing?

'It's not the same' you always said
He called me crazy to other people.
The eldest called me crazy to my face.
It hurts the same either way

And you blame me for being depressed
you'll never understand
I did not choose to be depressed
I did not sign up

I was drafted into the battle against depression
I promise no one ever wants to go into war.
A battleground is a dangerous place to be,
especially when you know you can't leave.

Do you remember the time I dreaded my birthday?
Or the time mom slit her wrists and blamed it on something in the garage?
Do you remember the time I told you how depressed I'd been feeling for years?
You brushed it all off with a grain of salt

Do you remember when the hospitals' nurse told you why people got depression?
I think it's safe to say you didn't.  
You left the required family session
and once I was home, you still questioned why I was feeling this way

I don't think you even knew what anxiety was 
until March 12th.
The day my favorite nurse told you
what was going on.

Dr. Thompson wanted me on medicine.
Prozac, they called it.
It's meant to treat anxiety and depression.
You were against me being on medicine.

You thought they'd take me off of it
after a couple of months
And experiencing withdrawal, 
I'd kill myself

Then you learned,
some people are on antidepressants 
most of their life
and I could be one of those people.


Submitted: December 21, 2014

© Copyright 2021 maddioreo. All rights reserved.

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