Youth Violence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reader discretion advised. Contains profane words.

[INT. Pool Hall, filled with smoke and many PATRONS chatting. ETHAN, a red-haired, tall man that appears to be of Irish descent, plays GARY, a blonde, sharply dressed gangster wearing a fedora, and BILL, a brunette wearing a black trench-coat. They seem to be engulfed in the game, as they are the sight of the hall.]

ETHAN [V.O]

A lot of the world you don’t see...

Why?

Because you trust the idiots who bitch about it.

The world is a big place.

Your time shouldn’t be wasted in New York.

I’m making this mistake as we speak.

[ETHAN hits the white ball gracefully with his cue. CUT TO red ball rolling into the bottom left hole]

GARY

Shit, man, you playin’ this on acid?

 [CUT TO C.O.: ETHAN]

ETHAN

Shut the hell up, Gary.

ETHAN [V.O]

As you can probably tell, I’ve met some great people.

Shame on me for making these lazy knobs my friends.

[BILL takes his turn and hits the EIGHT-BALL into a hole]

BILL

That’s right newbies! I won!

ETHAN

[Rolls Eyes]

I’ve got to split, I’ve had enough booze.

[CUT TO EXT. ETHAN walks out an exit into a grimy alleyway,

turns, and runs to the left out of the scene]

[CUT TO CO: ETHAN walking. It appears to be quite cold, and we can see his breath in the air.]

ETHAN[V.O]

That’s right, booze.

I’ve read a lot of books, all of which have a drunk in ‘em.This fact causes the general public to, annoyingly enough, act like drinking is some sort of national scandal. I hate it. If I want beer, I want beer. You can just deal with that.

[CUT TO INT. A small grocery store. ETHAN is the only one in his aisle, which is lined with an assortment of chips.]

 [ETHAN picks out a bag of LAYS potato chips and puts it in his shopping cart]

[CUT TO: A bald CLERK reading Dostoyevsky’s CRIME AND PUNISHMENT]

[ETHAN walks in front of the CLERK]

CLERK

Buying another pointless item of consumerist evil are you?

ETHAN

Ye-

CLERK

Ah-bu-bu-bu-ba.

I don’t need a smart answer amigo.

Tell me, when have you MADE anything in your spare time?

ETHAN

Well, I made a Christmas card once.

CLERK

No, no, no my good sir.

What is a Christmas card made of?

ETHAN

Paper?

CLERK

Partly correct, but what is paper made of?

ETHAN

Trees, I guess.

CLERK

Exactly.

So, my good man, until you cut down your own trees with your OWN axe, you will not answer back when I call you a consumerist.

Am I making myself clear?

ETHAN

I don’t even know why I participated in this.

[CLERK raises one eyebrow and looks up from his book at ETHAN]

ETHAN

No! No! For the love of God not again!

[Sarcastically] Thy simply means, thy shall taketh thine Lays, and thou shall witness me putting thine money on thou table. [ETHAN pays and then runs out the door, as the CLERK shakes his head]


Submitted: September 02, 2015

© Copyright 2022 Madhava Nadig. All rights reserved.

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