Always a Child

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 17, 2019

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Submitted: June 17, 2019

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Let us drink.
Let us drink to the same sad cycle of self-destruction. How many more times will you say that this will be the last time? How many more times will you blame your bad decisions on hormones? Let’s face it, you are running out time, out of excuses, out of space. The whole world lies before you and you are running out of space. You want to live and die and live again in someone else’s shoes, carry someone else’s burden and bury someone else’s truth. But you are human, limited to one body, one mind, and one life. Yet you long to surpass even your own humanity, always looking for something more profound, trying so desperately to cling to that one perfect connection that seldom exists, and when it does, it manifests itself only in short bursts of euphoria and disbelief.
Let us drink to your childish dreams, to a future that shall never arrive, for you have yet to come to the terms with who you truly are. You are clawing at the walls of the prison cell you have built around yourself, trying to achieve the empty dream of becoming the next prophet, one whose words will carry the weight of a thousand lost generations. But your words are selfish, meaningless to those who haven’t lived your pathetic life. You have all the tools of success, the knowledge to know better, be better, do better, yet none of it seems to matter to you. What you want is to take those tools and throw them down the well of self-pity.
Let us drink to all your loved ones who will one day get tired of your complaining, for they too have their own burdens to carry and their own truths to bury. They all grew up before you and learned of the one truth that matters most: that life does not care, and it will not wait for them to find their path. Thus, either out of necessity or desire, they began to walk with the world. They achieved a sort of balance that you will never achieve, because no matter what stage of life you are in, you will always be a child.
Always, always….
The above note was found on the man’s bedside table, shortly after he committed suicide.


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