Poem by: Maij
love, eyes, haiku, bright
Submitted: June 22, 2011
© Copyright 2016 Maij. All rights reserved.
Short but telling what you want to tell.
I like it.
Thanks very much for your comments :)
Again, lovely in its length, subject and language.
Thank you; I'm really happy you enjoyed this :)
2nd line tells that his/her eyes is a classic example (epitome) of light. That's beautiful how you told it. Some mystique feeling comes, at least to me, on reading that line. I love it.
Shines 'behind'. I think that behind should be removed. Shines IN or FROM... right? Something if shines from behind only casts a shadow. Do you agree? It will not glimmer, which you intended to say...
Anyway sorry for subjecting the incomparable poetic sense to my petty argument. Sorry...
Keep writing and kmu.
Take care :-)
Thank you for your wonderful comments; I'm glad this poem made you feel something. It was inspired by a pair of eyes that I once found absolutely mesmerizing? The line 'shines behind' was written that way because my meaning was the light source itself shined from behind the pupils of the eyes; such like a flash light that shines into the cracks of a wooden door.. I hope that makes sense. I'm also quite happy that my poem provoked such thought; I'm honored that you took the time to covey your personal thoughts on my work. Thank you again?
Lesley Annette 253
Again! i find that your word choice says it all! beautiful haiku
Thanks for reading Lesley :)
This again invoked photophobia and mixed memories. Jesus said the eyes light up the whole body and he who is blind is filled with darkness. Body, spirit and soul. This is blindness in the spiritual sense and i think this poem evoked this though in me. But does the writter feel such purity and illumination from the light of the world, Jesus Christ?
Wow the spiritual allusion you found in this poem is astounding and really quite beautiful. Thank you so much for reading and sahring such a thought provoking comment, Ekeuhie :)
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