Poem by: Maij
free, verse, girl, fear, young, inexperience
Submitted: December 01, 2011
© Copyright 2016 Maij. All rights reserved.
Well, at least someone's addressing this issue. I have an idea what she was buying. I don't know why young women fill the need to... sk@nk out. Sad. Truly, truly sad. You hit the nail on the head with this one (no pun intended), not to mention the flow and language were spot on. It comes off as really sophisticated, which is all you and not the subject matter. Obviously. Hopefully some girl will read this and realize that natural beauty--as far as physical appearance goes--is better than unnatural. Inner beauty, of course, is the most of important. Besides, there will be plenty of time for makeup (and maybe even a little need of it) when young women get older.
Hey Gideon, thanks a ton for reading. I think were on the same page when it comes to what this woman is buying and I agree with you; it really is sad. Some do it out of pressure, some to just fit in. You're so right that inner beauty is the most important. I'm 20 and hardly ever wear makeup minus the occasional eye liner or eye shadow. Plus my mother was really strict about that kind of stuff when I was growing up so I never was too interested in "fitting" all that much. I made all my decisions based on the question "is this worth getting into trouble for?". I know its funny but it kept me true. thanks again for such lovely comments, they really mean a lot coming from a writer like you??
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Beyond a work of art in terms of literature and prose, but also a socially relevant piece. I can't tell you the amount of girls who I've come across who need to read this. All I have to do is go to a party and I'll see what you're addressing being a rife occurence. Also, when it comes to makeup, what I find funny is when girls that are naturally pretty cake their faces in the stuff and make themselves look like clowns - literally, their faces look so plastic and artificial when in reality, they look just fine without it. As a guy, I really find it baffling.
Yet again, a wonderful poem, Martine. For you to write something that's socially relevant without sounding too preachy whilst also retaining the free-flowing and artistic integrity, is really amazing.
Hey Nik :) I can’t thank you enough for reading and for leaving such a well thought out and delightful comment. Yes I know what you mean; this girl is everywhere; the confused and sometimes insecure young lady who does what she does to fit in and will at some point have to suffer the consequences for not being true to herself. And I totally understand what you mean about the makeup thing; as I woman I sometimes find it baffling myself :)Thanks again for all the lovely comments; I’m so happy that you liked this poem??
I don't know what the heck she was buying. I do know a lot of young women dress way too sleazy and wear too much makeup. And what is the deal with shaving off your eyebrows and then drawing some on? Makes them look perpetually surprised. I liked it.
Hey Bob , thanks again for reading! I would tell you what it was, but I don’t want to give it away for future readers. However I will say this: she was buying a product that would help her avoid the consequences of 'unprotected' and irresponsible...actions. Your comment about the eyebrows made me laugh ^_^ don’t ask me man, I’ve never understood it myself, haha. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment Bob; I sincerely appreciate it??
I found this poem to be very intriguing. I like your style.
I am not 100 percent sure what she bought as I do not know florida's laws. My guess would be a pregnancy test. Not sure if you need ID for that.
Anyways, poem was well written and compelling!
Hey Fox ^_^!! Thanks so, so much for taking my request and giving this poem a read! I don’t want to say what she bought exactly as not to give it away for future readers, but I will say this: she was buying a product that would help her avoid the consequences of 'unprotected' and irresponsible...actions. My original 'forbidden item' was condoms but I discovered after publishing that you don’t need ID to buy them (don’t judge me, lol). Thanks again for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it! Thanks a bunch Fox??
you speak the truth!
you have a knack for hitting the nail on the head :D
Hey Rose! Thanks a bunch for fulfilling my reading request! I’m so happy you liked this poem and that you felt it spoke a true message. Thanks again for the nice comment and for taking the time to read??
I really like it. Those situations where people know they´re doing something wrong but it needs to be done cause they want to do it in this moment. This need to escape. Sometimes the only good option that there is, despite all consequences. A good poem about real life. Even if most people don´t want to hear that stuff, that honesty. Great job. G-man
Hey G :) Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Yes, there are times when people are forced to act in ways they normally wouldn’t in order to avoid consequences for irresponsible actions. I’m glad you liked this poem and that you felt it related to real life; that’s exactly what I was going for! Thanks again for leaving such a nice comment; I really do appreciate it??
wow, like all the people above me martine...i have to...i have to praise you....because, you brought up a wonderful cause.....i honestly have no idea what mammy(gideon elrod) and you were referring to...sorry...i've lead a very sheltered and innocent (more of an ignorant) life to all the bad things in the world...on one hand, i feel so privileged....on the other, i feel so scared..beacuse i wouldn't know what's out there....and yeah, i can say i love this poem...honestly, i see some people with really twisted poems laden with words...and i'm clueless...thanks for writing it in a simple language so people like me could understand...lots of love...martine...XOXOXOX...and yeah, keep writing such responsible stuff...may the stars watch over you....XOXOXO
Hey Isis, thanks again for reading and leaving such a lovely comment! I’m so happy you enjoyed this poem. Yes, the topic is socially relevant in regards to what she is buying. (I’d tell you but I don’t want to give it away for future readers) What I will say that she has to make this purchase as a last resort to avoid the consequences of…irresponsible actions. I’m glad you found the poem enjoyably and easy to understand. Thank you again for taking the time to read and for such kind wishes??
beautiful... youre such a good writer... if you have time try to read my works and please leave a comment
Thanks so much for reading Fredal; I'd love to :)
line 6 - I think you meant to say 'aisle?' Because isle means a small island. Aisle is a pathway...
And hmmm I was dumb. I was so dumb that I failed to understand the essence of this poem. Thank god I'm not the 1st. I saw Giddy's and understood that. As far as my opinions about this, I've really nothing to say. Because all the wonderful people above me had explored it in a more better and professional way.
And I personally never put make-up. Of course I'm a boy, but I don't even use Talcum powder... I kinda hate sprays etc... A very good subject matter indeed that you've touched now... I'm wondering how you're able to handle these themes - first of all, how do you even think about the existence of such a theme! Hats off...
Nice poem. Sorry for wasting a comment space....
Take care :)
Hey Arun, thanks for the heads up; I'll remedy that right away. Thanks for reading; I did write this poem a little esoterically. I'm glad you were able to understand though. Thanks again for leaving such a nice comment; I really appreciate you taking the time to give this poem a read??
hmm...i am really curious to know whats in that box.nice job!
Hey Samantha :) Thanks a bunch for rading??
Great piece. Elaborate and thought provoking. Truth is we live in a lie called 'life' and it terrible what this is turning us into. Keep writting
Thank so much for reading, I really do appreciate it. Yes life can bring the worst and best out in people; it's all in how you live it :)
You truly are an inspiration, Martine. I think I understood what she was buying, and I was a bit surprised that so many didn't. And those people are quite a few years older than me. Anyway, that's off topic. This had a clear message, that was brought to the reader on a beautiful silver plate (excuse the strange metaphor...). I always fail if I try to write a poem that sounds 'pretty' and also has a message. I just can't do it for some reason. Maybe that will change as I get older, though ...
Okay, prepare for some serious rambling! I'm truly sorry!)
I think it's so sad when you see girls wearing an insane amount of makeup, especially when they don't know how to apply it properly. It really irks me. I do actually wear makeup every day; foundation, concealer, powder, blush, bronzer, highlighter, eye-primer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, sometimes brow powder, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss. Sorry, I just had write it down, cause it sort of baffles me how many different products I use.
But, when that's said, I don't apply it because of peer pressure, I really don't. I'm not the kind of person who falls for peer pressure. I don't do it to impress anyone either. I couldn't care less about any of that. I do it because I like looking in the mirror, and think 'wow, I look good!', and maybe I should be able to think that without makeup, but let's just admit this right now; there's a reason women spend so much money on makeup. It does make you look better, that is if you apply it correctly, of course.
I'm not saying I don't think I look good without makeup, but I do think I look better with it. I think it's important to be able to take your dog for a walk without having to put on your mask of makeup, though, which I am fully able to do.
Also, I am genuinely interested in beauty and makeup, and everything that comes with it, and just as with writing - it can be an art form. It's how you use it and why you use it that really counts.
I'm sorry for rambling on and on, Martine! Hope you didn't doze off while reading it. ;)
Keep up the brilliant and jaw dropping work! Happy new year! x
Hey Alice, I appreciate you taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. I agree with your point about how beauty and makeup seem so synonymous to younger girls and how ridiculous the outcome can be. I wear the occasional eyeliner and mascara too, but like you I don’t depend on it every second of my life; allowing it to dictate what I can and can’t do or where I can and can’t go. Thanks again for reading Alice, I really do appreciate it??
Of course I am close enough to 50 for it not to matter, and a daughter of 14. I fear for her. On TV, she is shown girls plastered in slap, blind drunk rolling about, acting worse than the lads hanging about with them, and the language, to be kind is colourful to say the least. And this is entertainment. You eloquently highlight the pressures on youngster to fit in and conform to what their peers and themselves are shown to be normal… worse than that desirable. The casher is a good depiction of the uncaring society that is sucked into the ratings wars, driven by the admen who want to sell this obscene dream to these girls.
A strong moral piece of observation, it should be on a billboard not only on Booksie.
Hello again Dibs :) I can’t imagine how you must feel having a daughter of your own. The point you made about how the media portrays young women is sad but true. I'm happy that you pinned the symbolism of this piece so well too. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave read and comment :)
This is such a sad story, but well told. My heart goes out to her and all the girls in the world that have suffered a similiar fate. Every choice we make affects our future, so we must be wary of our decisions.
A sad story, but again, excellently conveyed as always. Please never stop writing, you are so talented.
Hi Faith :) As a young woman, I know you've seen this girl. I'm glad you felt the gist of this work so thoroughly too. As you stated, one must be wary of their decisions, especially the ones that have the potential to have a life long effect on the individual. Thank you for such beautiful, thoughtful and encouraging comments. I've been on a bit of roller coaster with things including my writing but your words have really given me a great boost??
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