Short Story by: Maij
Genre: Young Adult
love, pain, short, story, lonely, longing, obssesion, obssesed
Submitted: April 06, 2011
© Copyright 2016 Maij. All rights reserved.
this is amazing.... its like its obsessive and sweet at the same time, and a little creepy, yet romantic. You have the gift for twist as well and i envy that :)
Thanks so much for your comments Bella! I'm really glad you enjoy my work :)
i have to go take a cold shower now. good job! hot stuff.
Haha :) A friend of mine said the same thing in regards to that cold shower. Thank you so much for your comments!
Wow! Omg this is so cool!! I want to know what happens next, you should totally write a sequel! wow! This is so dark and twisted, kinda sexy! I'd be mad embarrassed if that guy walked in on me stark naked in his bed! I wonder what he's thinking?
This is great! You always impress me with your writing.
I still owe you two short stories to read :) So if you post anymore up, let me know! I hope one of them will be the sequel to this... *hinthint*
LOL Thanks! I'm glad you like it. This was one of those spur of the moment creations that don't really have a full identity. I have tried writing a scenario of what happens next but I don't feel like I know the characters well enough :( but that dosen't mean I haven't been trying. If I do write a sequel, you'll be the first to know :) Thanks again Faith, this is the first decent short I've had the courage to share and you comments mean a lot.
I came here due to the reccomendation on Ousma's page...so thank her, I guess ;)
I enjoyed it in the way that I was thoroughly creeped out. The amount of trouble the character went to, when it isn't apparent the two have ever even met, was so odd...just because of some vague connection.
And then the end...well, the end hinted at something a little different. I would leave it as it is, don't add a sequel. Might somewhat tarnish the overall feel of the story.
Thanks so much for your comments. A seqel to this will never see the light of day :P I have been trying but it's not looking too good. I'm glad you felt somthing too; I know no one could ever fathom the reasons for the main characters actions, but I like the idea of curious readers observing the characters as if they were creatures in my own personal zoo :) Thanks again.
so that's the way you write.....reminds me of that movie obsessed with beyonce although the white girl in that movie who was obsessed they never said why she was either .....i guessed apparently love at sight
Thanks I'm glad you liked :)
This is really good. My only suggestion would be to change the size of the letters. Right now they are a bit overbearing. However, the sentence structure, grammar, concept and imagery were all first class.
Thank you for your comments and constructive criticism. Do you think a different or smaller font will remedy this? I wasn't aware that the text size could become distracting; thanks for the tip!
oh wow, wow, GIANT WOW!! This certainly is amazing stuff, unique and powerful in an out of the ordinary sense, you are a bright, awesome writer, kept me interested, in awe and soooooo excited for the characters, one extreme rare passion that leads to a desperate connection at the end!! Very dramatic, you have a heated mind with great, magnificent lustful images!! WONDERFULLY TOLD, AMAZING TALENT INDEED!
Thanks a million Glitter! I'm really greatful and appreciate you giving it a read. Thank you :)
wow,amazing but i really want a sequel!notify me when you publish it.also please check out my short story Love-Unexpectedly Found.thanks!
Hi Samantha! I'm really honored that you responded to my request and popped by to read. I'm absolutely elated that you enjoyed it! I have been contemplating a sequel, but its not anything solid; I'm having trouble getting to know these character because I kinda "jumped right in" with them and this short story. I will be sure to read your story very soon! Thank you again :)x?x?x?
Old ladies and gossips - lol true true!
The ritual of saying his name! Haha wow I love that.
Wow so you're a short story expert too! I loved it so well.... and thanks that you finished it with an open end. I was afraid that you'd be writing erotica! Nice writ.
Take care sissy :-)
Wow; expert? Not by a long shot, but thank you :) I know, my work can get a bit racy, but I DO NOT write erotica. Thank you so much for reading; really happy you liked it?
Lesley Annette 253
Hey! This is really neat! I especially like how the cliff hanger makes me yearn for more! you should really continue it!!! :D your character jumped out at me! i wasnt sure where it was going at first but you spun it around and i liked the thrill! lol please keep me updated!
Hi Lesley :) Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a nice comment! I have thought about continuing with this story, but story writing just isn't my forte. Every time I get started it just fizzles out. But thanks you again for reading; I 'm really glad you enjoyed reading??
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