Poem by: Maij
love, life, mystery, sadness, search, paradise, yearning, incomplete, elusive
Submitted: January 02, 2012
© Copyright 2016 Maij. All rights reserved.
I love the comparison being used here ‹3 I really enjoyed reading this poem! Never stop writing 8D And, kmu if you have a new poem up! please? : )
Hi :) I'm so happy you liked this poem and I'll be sure to keep you updated! Thank you so much for the nice comment :)
"My silken thinness," "Tethered to the meat of my being" "A humble, bulb-like vessel." So many lines! So much glory! Wow, I wish I could possess even 10% of such incredible poetic prowess.
Well, since you've read a few of my works, you know how obsessed I am with nature similes which draw parallels and inspiration with sociological nature in reality, and I gotta tell ya, Martine, this was absolutely superb.
As per standard, your beautiful eloquence, coupled with a fusion of nature and like your friend, that touch of delicacy that seems so gentle that one feels as though they could "break" the words just by touching the screen of the computer, is just fantastic.
Reading this, I felt it was woven with such rhythmic, atmospheric grace whilst also never, at any point, sacrificing the core of the story. You drove the tale forward with the conviction of atmospheric splendour that was so eloquently composed and conveyed to the reader. At no point, like with your other poems, was it style over substance - you really nailed a solid balance, something which is incredibly difficult to do. Some poems tend to revolve around prettiness and thus sacrfice substance for style - not that there's anything wrong with that, but I really do think it's impressive for you to display both qualities with equal effect.
In regards to the poem's meaning and connotations - not to sound patronising, but it'll happen. I don't know if I've ever been in love before (I thought I was with one relationship when I was 18 but looking back at it retrospectively and subjectively, I just don't know) but one thing I say about that kind of affection is that it hits you when you don't expect. You're too much of a beautiful and wonderful girl in every sense for the good guys out there to be oblivious. It'll happen, my friend. When you least expect it. Just remember that :)
Gosh Nik, I don’t know what to say. Thanks so much for leaving such a gracious and thoughtful comment :) I really don’t know what you mean when you say you lack poetic prowess; your comment was so poetic in itself and I thank you for taking the time to extend them in such a beautiful and attentive manner. I’m so glad to hear that you liked and felt the gist of this piece so thoroughly too. I really did want to convey the essence of futile longing without sacrificing form. Even though this poem is complete, in a way the journey of that seed is far from it and it means a lot to me that as a writer, you found this poem to be so balanced and solid. I intended for this poem to be incomplete in the sense I previously explained, but I wanted the reader to come away with some feeling of closure; this is only the end of a phase in the journey, not the journey it’s self. And thank you for your kindness and compassion; you always seem to know where I’m coming from. Like you wrote, I know that it’ll come in time, but sometimes one can’t help but ask ‘when’, ya know? Again, I thank you for taking the time to read this and leave such a lovely comment; you’re a great friend??
First of all, "Damn, Nik! Got somethin' to say?"
Okay, it was eloquent and delicately woven like the rest of your works. The way you captured the reality of a dandelion and translated its natural cycle into emotion was quite breathtaking.
Sorry, they're turning off the power. Have to log off.
Sorry about that, little sister, some outlets had to be replaced. Again, I found it to be quite lovely and more than a little poignant. I noticed Nik quoted one of my favorite lines: My silken, thinness strokes the air; in desperate haste for the merest caress of paradise edge.
P.S. Love will capture you when you least expect it.
Hi Gedion I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed reading this poem.The line you quoted is also one of my favorites since it describes the futility of acts fueled by desperation in seeking love; that edge of paradise that always seems to be so out of reach. Thanks so much for your lovely comments??
nicely done girl. your is firmer every time i come by here. well crafted, fluffy stuff with yearning underneath.
Thanks so much Bruce; I'm so glad you liked this poem! And I'm even happier to read that you think I’ve grown as well; that is after all what we writers strive for :)
So poetic and descriptive, no wasted words. I love the feel of this poem, I was carried away like dandelion seed in the wind right along with you.
Hey Fox :) thanks so much for reading! I'm elated to hear that you felt the meaning of this poem so thorughly??
Just beautiful, Martine. Superbly crafted imagery infused with emotion, a real joy to read!
Hi Bob :) Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment; I'm really glad you liked this??
Elegant and eloquent. I think the readers above have said it all, and I agree.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment ^_^
People get paid for all kind of shit. Mostly distruction or production of distruction. If this world would run as it was supposed to run you would be one of the richest people on earth. Your words are so beautiful that I need to turn off my computer right now, so I would not fall in love with you. G
Hey G, thanks a lot for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment; I'm touched that this poem moved you in such a way. I only wish to be wealthy in the riches of profound wisdom and connection; those that truly matter the most in this world but are overlooked.
Good job! I love the comparison here :) I could feel the yearning that you depicted in this piece, you did an excellent job of conveying your emotion.
I'm so sorry its taken me this long to get to your stuff!
Hi Faith, I can't tell you how happy I am to read that you enjoyed this poem! To be honest with you, I think its one of the most meaningful poems I've ever written. Its also really special to me because I feel like I've reached one of the many crossroads to becoming a better writer. The yearning you picked up on was what fueled this poem the most and I'm glad the presence of it was so potent for you. Thank you so, so much for reading and taking the time to comment; it really means a lot??
Hmmm... This is gud and meaningful! Keep it up. :-)
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment; I'm glad that you enjoyed reading!
It was a real crisp piece! To tell the truth, it was absolutely draped in beauty, and I am not getting enough words that would condense to describe this peppy feeling tumbling within. Absolutely astounding like a sky half green and half navy...HAHAHAHA!!!! I guess I was able to bring out the imagery with this line, like you did in this piece.
Well, well, well... I just can't figure out from where to start, and from where to end. The brook of praises would not only be perennial, but also overloaded with ecstasy! AWESOMANIA, Miss AWESOMISTA!!!!! ROFL!!!
Your friend, always,
wow, thanks so much for this gracious comment; I'm so happy you liked this poem! It's my latest and I'm really proud of it. You seemed to grasp the feel I was going for in writing this and I love your interpretation of what this work said to you (unique, almost other worldly imagery :). Thank you again Serenade, it means a lot :)??
I just read this again, forgetting about my previous comment. I'd still like to reiterate how splendid this is :) You're so talented :)
Awwww, that's so nice of your Faith; thanks so much! :)
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