Poem by: Maij
loss, nature, poetry, life, personal
Submitted: March 30, 2011
© Copyright 2016 Maij. All rights reserved.
Hi. I love your poem. I think it's very well written :)
Thanks Trissy :)
Aww :( such a sad viewpoint. You described it excellently though! This is a very beautifully written poem! :)
Thank you :)
short,simple n full of meaning the way I like it.
I don't understand why we all go for stereotypes. Err, I mean the colour white and its association with virginity haha. Oh yeah I too can't help it, but no reading that, this thought came in my mind...
I think 'surviving buds' and 'not yet fallen' should be swapped. Two issues - 1. the word surviving itself encompasses that its not fallen and hence if it comes former, the next sentence is just an addition. 2. Do buds fall? isn't it the worn out flowers that fall? Suggestion - it's my suggestion to change the bud thing as leaves. 'the green leaves on which glided the dew drops of sorrow.' - something like that.
P.S. I'm not complaining anything. I'm just sharing my views. if you were offended to the slightest degree, I apologize sincerely. I never meant to hurt. Moreover, my knowledge on poetry is very limited for I'm not a poet myself. Soooooooooooooo sorry if you're annoyed by my stupid petty complaints.
But I do LOVE it..
I love the imagery and the emotions... sorrow for petals! wow...
Take care sister.
Hi Arun :) Thank you for your comments and suggestions; you do make a good argument. This poem like some of the others I write, can be interpreted in a number of ways. I know the virgin/white thing is cliche, but that's the first thing that came to mind. This poem was inspired by true events. It was a rainy and windy day and the weather caused buds and petals alike to fall from a flowering tree and onto the side walk. I noticed that the ones that fell to their doom, were being crushed underfoot as people walked along. It was kind of a spur of the moment write for me but I will consider your suggestions. Thank you so much for your comments; they were thoughtful, informative and wonderful?? Glad you liked :)
Experiencing other login problems? We can help.