Isabel meets Her

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just jump.

Submitted: March 14, 2016

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Submitted: March 14, 2016

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I met Her.

After some time, Her expression changed. She looked at me and then revealed everything. She didn’t have a car accident.  It was just an excuse to avoid all those stupid questions and  a needless sympathy. She jumped. From a tall building. She just wanted to die. Death. Death. Death. That was Her deepest desire.  To stop thinking. To stop feeling. Finally, to disappear.

Sad, right?  I’ve been wondering why She told all of that to me. We are not friends.  Just " well-known" strangers. But still strangers. …

To my surprise, I was not shocked. Ha! Just try imagine how calm I was! I was just sitting and listening very patiently.  Hmm… For few seconds ,  even a smile appeared on my face….

But Ok, I admit  that I felt something. I can’t define it but definitely I felt weird.

How people call it? Understanding? Maybe.  It’s the same  feeling when someone has dreams like yours. Firstly, you are happy, because you’ve found a person who ‘s  similar to you. Then,  you are more mature. You see things quite differently  and start thinking: “Why s/he wants to do that?” And, there also exists the last stage,  Jealousy. But this kind of jealousy develops from good understanding and it’s rather a positive sign.

BTW I hate when someone turns MY DREAMS into reality. It gets on my nerves.

Where was I? Ahh… so does it mean that I was jealous when She  told me about Her suicide attempt?  I don’t know( I love saying that ;) I have no idea if I am jealous or not.  But truly I do understand Her. There was a time when I was desperately begging for death.. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to scream. I just wanted to close my eyes….  And puff..  But I’m not so courageous. I’m just a coward. I can’t do that or I don’t want to do that.

Well ,I should assure you that I  do not have depression or some problems with my being( but If you think so that’s ok, I’m fine. Seriously, I’m fine)  but I just have a quite different way of thinking about my life, world and people.  My point of view is extremely rare and sometimes I am scared of it.

Despite that I stay positive… In each of us there is some kind of DWARF that wants to escape from his prison and show his real self.

Have you ever read  The Dwarf by Lagerkvist ?  ;)


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