Blaming Sasha

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sasha is blaming her self for her brothers death. 15 year old Sasha needs the support of her parents but her mother being drunk all the time and her dad being a drug addict who is she gonna turn to? She cant turn to the only person that is there for her because he was her brothers best friend. Memories flood Sasha’s head of her brother smiling face. Who is gonna show Sasha closure?

Submitted: December 13, 2009

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Submitted: December 13, 2009

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This is for a photo challenge.

Blaming Sasha

I stir in my bed as I hear the door knock rapidly and very loudly. I pick up my pillow and try to block out the noise by hiding my head under it. It doesn’t work. Reluctantly I get up throwing the covers on the floor. The door is still banging when I make my way to awnser it. I fling it open and only dofus would be standing there.

“Hey sis” A smile plays on Jace’s face. I slam the door in his face and flop back on my bed. The door starts banging again.

“Jace go away!” I put the pillow over my head again trying to go to sleep. The banging stops but is replaced by an annoying voice.

“Sasha please! i’m hungry!” He pleads. I’m not his slave and he knows this but he cant cook to save his life. Witch is why oh lovely sis here must cook for him or he would starve. I smile. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. “Cody is here!” I jump out of bed and run for the door. I fling it open to see Jace trying to keep a straight face.

“You better not be lying!” I stare at him and then decide to run into the bathroom. I brushed my hair and my teeth. Put some deodorant on and my favorite cheery blossom perfume. I grabbed a yellow low cut laced shirt and a pair of jeans. I put on a hoodie and then run back into the bathroom forgetting about my makeup. I rushed the eyeliner and lip gloss. I took one more look in the mirror and decided it would have to do. I speed walked to my door because the running wore me out. Jace was still standing at the door smiling like an idiot. I push past him and walked around the corner to see the beautiful face of dufus’s best friend.

“Hi” He smiles eating a cookie. “What’s for breakfast”

“Dude that was my cookie!” Jace pouts. Cody sticks his tongue out at him.

“suck it up. So Sashie what you cookin’ today?” he’s the only one who can call me Sashie. Once Jace tried it and I sprayed his room with perfume the day he had what he calls a (smoking hot babe) coming over. She thought he was gay so my job had worked out. No sex for him that night :D.

“earth to Sasha. “you okay?” Jace asks.

“yeah just rembering something.”

“oh okay well will you get to cooking.” I stick my tongue out at him and start cooking eggs. The were watching cartoons. I shock my head and handed then there food.

“where’s mom?” I asked not even wanting to know the awnser.

“ passed out drunk up stairs. And Dad is god knows were.” I just sank back into the sofa becoming sad and feeling hatred for my parents again. Cody noticed and put his arm around me. I put my head against his shoulder and tried to stop thinking about it. He smelled like soap and I am so head over hells for him.

“We can go some where if you want.” Cody says. I nod.

“sis go get your stuff and we can go out to the cliff okay.” He looks at me with sadness in his eyes to.

“But that’s like a two hour drive” its just what I need though.

“I know but I think we need to get away for a while.” Jace says. I head upstairs and get ready. I grabbed a black laced bikini and a towel. I slipped short and a shirt over it. When I got downstairs Jace was waiting for me.

“Cody is gonna meet us there. He has something to do first.” I frown but then nod. Jace smiles and puts his arm around my shoulder. We walked out to his car and I sat back into my seat.

It was a long ride with a lot of thinking. Music flooded from the speakers as I got out. I put my bag with my stuff in it around my shoulders and started climbing. Jace wasn’t far behind. I got up the side with no problem but Jace tripped a few times. Finally Jace made it up. After a while of jumping into the crystal clear water Cody arrived. I started to blush when Cody looked me up and down with a smile on his face. Jace smacked him around the head.

“that’s still my sister dude” Jace said with a smile. Jace could never be mad at anyone. I wanted to impress Cody after a while so I figured we could go to the higher part of the cliff.

“Guys who wants to go up to Gods rock?” I asked.

“Me!” They both said at the same time.

“Sasha you think you can handle it?” Cody teased. I stuck my tongue out at him and started up the trail to Gods rock. I was the first one up then came Cody then Jace. From this high the water was rapid and it was about a 300 ft drop.

“Um Sasha I don’t know if we should jump from up here” Jace said. I could tell he was worried but I know what I’m doing and I’m sure he does to.

“What are you scared” I walked to the edge and turned around and made sure Cody saw. Him and Jace both just looked at me and looked down. I jumped. The wind blew from beneath me and I knew to just stay straight and let me feet break my fall. I felt like I was falling forever before I felt the icy water bring me under. I struggled to get up but managed to do it. I started to swim to shore. I saw Cody jump then he made his way to me. We both smiled and looked at Jace. He was about to jump when it looked like he slipped.

“JACE!” I screamed as he lost his balance and tumbled toward the water. He was screaming as tough as he was he knew what would happen if he hit the water from that far up and his feet didn’t break his fall. He finally hit the water and it felt like ever thing was in slow motion. Cody ran for the water before Jace had even hit it. Searched the water were he fell as Jace floated up. Tears fell from my eyes I couldn’t move. Cody pulled Jace to him and I could see the hurt in his eyes as he looked in my direction. With out saying words I knew what he was gonna say. Jace was dead.

>>>

Its been a month since my brother death and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It only got worse. Cody tried to keep me away from the house as much as he could but it didn’t do any good. I didn’t want to leave my bed. I just wanted to sleep and stay under the covers and cry. My mother cried and would hit me and say its all your fault you stupid brat. You couldn’t leave your brother alone. He never got into to trouble. He was only 17 Sasha! You killed him! Why did god give me a child like you? She would then pass out drunk and my dad never came home anymore. I killed my brother and now I don’t know what to do. I see his face everywhere I go. That smile that could light up anyone day no matter how bad. I loved my brother more than anything. We have had our fights but he was my brother and he’s gone. He’s dead.

I laid in my bed looking at the picture I hung on my ceiling of Jace and me at my 14th birthday. He was smiling and had me on his shoulders. Tears ran from my eyes. I heard a knock on my door and some one call my name.

“Sasha its Cody can I come in” I wanted to say yes but I couldn’t find my voice. He opened the door a little and looked through. As soon as he saw the tears he came in and sat next to me. He pulled me to him and I just cried into his shirt. He reminded me so much of Jace. I know he wants to help. Jace was like a brother to him and they were always together. I just cant get close to Cody anymore. I pulled away from him and just looked up.

“Sasha why do you keep pushing me away?” He asked hurt. I know what i’m doing is hurting him but I just cant do it.

“I… You… You remind me of Jace” I tried to keep my voice from being shaky but it didn’t work to well. He wanted to hug me and tell me something but I could tell he wasn’t gonna do it because he knew wit would only make it worse.

“I’m sorry… I miss him to you know” I nodded wiping the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t let him see my cry. “Jace would want you to be happy. You were his world Sasha and he loved you more than anything. I bet its breaking his heart to see you crying over him. He knows you love him and he will always know that you will be with him one day.” There goes the tears again.

“but I killed him Cody… I killed my brother” he looked at me tears staining his cheeks. I just looked away but I could tell he was looking at me like he just saw a naked man running around with an ice cream cone. Total shock on his face.

“No! you didn’t! He slipped. Is this why your so upset?” His voice was low but it was like he was screaming.

“I…I…” I nodded. This time he pulled me to him. I didn’t resist I laid my head against his chest and cried. I couldn’t stop. He brushed my hair with his flinger saying shhh it gonna be okay. I nodded into his chest and looked up into his eyes. His eyes locked with mine. I knew Jace would want me to be happy but I will never forget him. Cody’s lips brushed mine lightly. I always loved Cody and I always wanted this. I want to stop because Jace is dead and how can I do this and be happy when he’s gone. Cody could tell I was thinking about Jace.

“You know he wants you happy and you know he trusted me. Sasha I love you but if you don’t want this I can go. I also want you happy. Jace is your brother and he was my best friend. But he’s gone. He will always be in you he--” I cut him off by cuffing his face in my hands and bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him. I love him and I do want him. He pulled back searching my eyes for something.

“I love you Sasha” He said.

“I love you to Cody.”


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