Himm

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Himm. He love me. But do I really love him back?

Submitted: October 12, 2015

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Submitted: October 12, 2015

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I know he loves me. I know he loves me a lot. I just dont want to adimit to loving him too. I'm afraid I am gonna get hurt again. Hes hurt me before. But I'm always the one leaving. I left last time. I don't wanna hurt him, I dont want him to hurt me. I have to say it. I love him. I can't explain how much I love him. I'm afraid I say the wrong word and he leaves. He tells me things like I'm perfect, everyones like you two are cute, how long. I say, were not a thing. They sigh and say oh. He looks at me and tells me its up to me. Everyone thinks we could be something again. I have loved him ever since that night. That one night, has changed my whole life. He has changed my whole life. I dont like the fact I could lose him. He is always here for me. He is perfect. My life. I just can't tell him. I can't tell anyone. When I try.. I just can't, I can't keep smiling and being thing perfect priness everyone thinks I am.  I am no where near perfect.  I dont get it, people love me. I just cant say it back. Something has happened and I cant figure out what it is. 

My mom says I have changed, she says I'm different. I am happier than last year. I had my life struggle last year. My best friend moved aways and I still havent seen her. One of my good friends moved, I just saw her and she has changed I couldn't even be around her. I called my mom to come get me because I just couldn't do it. Hes cutting again, getting in to fights. I just dont know. But then theres himm and I smile. I'm grinnign like a stupid idiot right now. I just can't explain my feelings. My dad is struggling with a dieses and its killing him pretty much. I just think what if I left. Then hes, himm and I cant leave. He loves me to much. He says he wants to kiss me all I say is no. When I should be saying, please then I know you wont hurt me anymore. I just cant get my self to say it. My cousin from Texas is like can ya'll just date already. I know she is right i knwo we should I just can't come around to it. 

I am sorry for all the problems I have made because of this. I just can't hurt him again. And he can't hurt me.. I cant even look him in the eye for longer the 10 seconds. He gives me these looks. We fight like we are married say all of our friends. We meet this guys last night and hes was like you think that hes hot, and you like him. I'm like no. Hes like are you lying and I say no. He was like huh. He put his fingerprint on my phone. He told me his password. I just wish he would do something that would make me believe he will always be here for me. I know he his mentally, but phicialy I need to know. Sometimes when I am talking to him I think about kissing him but I dont. I remeber everything i could lose by doing this.  Hes always here for me. All the time. I just wanted to see him on the saddest day of my life. It was the best day of his life he go this baby sister and I go to burried my dead dog.  He tells me how much he loves my baby, (guinea pig) I dont know what I would do without him, and I hope I never need to find out. 


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