Sleeping With Fear

Book by: Marina Mainville

Summary

A true story about me and my life in foster care

Chapter1 (v.1) - Locked Away And Scared

Author Chapter Note


I laid there motionless and scared, my body aching from her back hand that had hit me hard on my young body. I could smell the urine coming off the white carpet of my bedroom. Every move I make to get up hurts and make me want to cry, but fear of her striking me once again kept me from doing so.

I can see a tall dark shadow standing at the doorway of my room. Why is he standing there? Why won’t he make her stop cursing and yelling? Is this my fault? The figure kept staring down at me, as if he was ashamed of me. The figure being my father didn’t do nothing. Why wont he do anything about this nightmare? Aren’t fathers supposed to protect and love your kids and not let anyone or anything hurt them? Why didn’t mine?

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 14, 2012

Reads: 203

Comments: 4

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: June 14, 2012

A A A

A A A

My name is Marina Mainville, and I am just another human being in this world just like you. I was born in Sonoma California in the month of May from my parents, David Jr. Mainville and Franchesca Peters. Both very young, irresponsible, and both with no experience with children.

My mother and father met at a Christian camp during the summer, and fell in love with each other. They had a long distance relationship, which is always hard for young couples at their age. My father lived with his parents in Sonora California, Charlene and David Mainville, I call them Meme and Pepe. My mother lived with her parents, Maria Sepulveda and Frank Peters.

My Meme and Pepe have three sons. My Dad being the oldest, my Uncle Ronnie being the middle child and Michael being the youngest. My dad use to play drums and taught my Uncle Michael how to play Drums, and he later started his own Christian Band. My Uncle Ronnie was dating my soon to be Aunty Melody. She is a total sweetheart. She is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. She plays the piano at her church and sings there as well. She has a beautiful voice.

My dads famiily loved playing baseball and my dad enjoyed playing basketball while in high school, he was an achiever at the sport and loved playing it. My Pepe loves golfing while my Meme on the other hand, is an incredible baker. She made wedding cakes and birthday cakes quite often. I enjoyed watching her bake and eating the left over mixings. I would sometimes help her make cookies and shape the dough in different shapes and sizes.

My Grandma Maria and Grandpa Frank had three daughters, my mother being the oldest, My Aunty Karen being the middle child and my Aunt Lynette being the youngest. They lived in Santa Rosa California. My Grandma Maria brought me home from the hospital the day after I was born, and then she began to raise me as one of her own. My parents were too young to take care of such a young baby, and they didn’t have the patience for me at all.

A year or so had past and my Grandpa Frank left my Grandma for a Blonde Woman named Teresa. My grandma continued to raise me, and I became sad due to my Grandfather leaving us. Whenever he would come to visit, I’d be so happy, but when he would have to go Id become sad and beg him not to leave.

I was very close to My Grandma and Grandpa that I called them Mom and Dad. My biological mother was “Nini” to me. Everyone called her that in my family.

 

My mother and father had been together for about four maybe five years until my Father left my mom for a woman he met in Sonora by the name of “Louise”. He left my mom hurting her and leaving her in tears. All this time he had been cheating on her with this Unknown woman he met at work. My mother became depressed and left town to be in the ghetto. There she began to make bad decisions, and going down the wrong road. She started getting into fights with other people and hurting them and bashing them with Beer bottles. My mother ended up in jail because she stabbed a woman in the back with a sharp weapon. That was the last time I had heard from her.

At the age of four or five, I had lived with my Aunty Lynda in Minnesota and my Aunty Lynette, my Uncle Jack and my little Cousin Angelina. I moved a lot. At the age of five or six, I was moved to go live with my dad in Sonora with his new wife, Louise. I was happy to be living with my dad and being close to my Meme and Pepe. When I got there, my father and Louise had two children together, Xena and Alvin Mainville. Xena was the Oldest, and Alvin was just a toddler.

My dad worked a lot so I was at home with Louise all the time, or at my Meme’s house. I realized as I lived there in the home, Louise turned out to be different. She wasn’t as nice as my Dad had said she was. She kept me in my room all day. My room was kind of empty, I mean for a child. I had a bed, a dresser, a Smokey the Bear Hat and a Pink Barbie Car. I would sometimes look out the window by my bed and wish I would go play with the kids who were outside playing on the playground. Sometimes, I felt like running away, but I was afraid of what she would to me. I starved, but never was thirsty. All I drank was water, I got use to and it became my favorite thing to drink.

When my dad would come home, Louise would let me out as if nothing had happen or she would tell my dad “She was being punished”. What was I being punished for? I don’t remember getting in trouble. My dad yelled at me, and next thing you know, Louise is shoving Liquid soap into my mouth and saying that I’m being punished and that this was my “other” punishment. My dad just sat down and ate dinner as usual. I rarely got to eat, she would always time me when shed serve food. I tried to eat as much as I can, but she’d always say “slow down” in her loud tone. After I am done eating I am to go back to my room without a word said to anyone.

My Meme and Pepe would come over to visit, and I wasn’t allowed to say a word to them, not a “hello” or “I love you”. I had to sit still, and Louise would say, “She’s being punished”.

Of course this was strange to them, i always seemed to be "in trouble" whenever they came over. It made them concerned of course.

One day, during the day, i was locked inside my room like usual, and i had to use the restroom. I tried opening the door, but the chair outside the door was holding it shut, and Lousie wouldnt let me out. I ended up having an accident on the floor and myself. Louise Comes inside and sees what i have done. She is very Angry, She hits me really hard multiple times, leaving me red with welts from her hand. Im screaming in pain and frightened. She grabs me by my ponytail and treats me like a dog whos just disobeyed and rubbed my face in my own urine, telling me im bad. I cried and cried.

My dad came home from work, saw what she had done, and called my grandparents to have them pick me up. When i got to their house, my grandma undressed me and saw all the marks all over me and was disgusted and hurt. She called cps and two ladies came with 2 police officers. The ladies wanted to see the marks on me, and one of the officers asked, "May i see hun?" Making sure i was okay with him looking at it. I nodded

And that was the start where my whole life would change forever. Where i would never grow up to be a "normal" child. Where id soon be living with complete strangers and wondering why my family hated me so much, why they hurt me, why they abandoned me. 

 


© Copyright 2016 Marina Mainville. All rights reserved.

Sleeping With Fear

Status: Finished

Genre: Non-Fiction

Houses:

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Non-Fiction

Houses:

Summary

A true story about me and my life in foster care

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