A Pretty Psycho

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Jay, a young man that has no job and nothing going for him. Not only does he have nothing he hates everybody and finds his own ways to keep him happy.

Submitted: February 13, 2014

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Submitted: February 13, 2014

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 Wit Da Homies

“Hook me up wit dat Burger doe!” We were chillin at my homie's pad 'bout to grub on some dope ass burgers. It was me and my three homeboys: Patrick, Alex and Michael. Patrick, who was wearing a dark gray button up shirt from Express, fresh ass jeans from True Religion, some Emerica shoes that I can not help but to look at. Patrick was a man whore, he would be wit at least three bitches a day.

Alex, who was too funny. Alex was wearing a Diamond shirt, camo shorts, high socks that look like they are from Zumiez, and red Converse that are pretty damn fresh if you ask me. Alex socked this stupid ass nerd earlier, which was so funny. It excited me to see blood come down from that pussy's nose. “Hook it up or wha'?” Alex says. Patrick replies with a irritated voice “Will you shut the fuck up?!”

Michael on the other hand was rather quiet and he was wearing black clothes, all black clothes. A black Asking Alexandria shirt that he pretty much wore all the damn time. It had some sort of green demon looking thing that I could never tell what it is, black jeans that are probably from a fuckin' thrift store, they were all ripped up and shit. But what annoyed me the absolute most was that he wore Tom's, God what a faggot. “Hook it up or wha?” Alex says. It was about midnight when we decided to go eat but I knew that noone will get off their lazy ass to get anything.  Patrick's garage, all white with a few white couches that were rather comfortable. Every time you walked into his garage the smell of weed smacked you in the face and stormed up your nose, yet, the smell never got old. It always excited me and ready for some ass kicking. I never understood why people got so relaxed when the smell is smelt. Not me, that is for damn sure. “You know that that all those bitches need me? Bitches love me! All you need is a diamond shirt and a snapback. And then bam! Bitches be all over you.”Alex says with a rather conceited voice. Patrick says with a pissed off voice “Alex, God shut-the-fuck-up!, Damn!” “Michael, what do you think? Bitches or should I listen to this fag over here?” Alex says. Of course Michael does not say a word. Patrick responds “I mean look at your faggot ass, Diamond and I saw in your closet a shirt that said “Obey” on it. I mean who the hell am I supposed to Obey? You ? You can kiss my ass for all I care.” Alex was lost in words and sounded like a retard when trying to explain all that Patrick said.

Patrick is the most interesting person I know. I never understood why though, he just thought he was all bad ass or something. One time we were at a party and Patrick got so drunk that he started playing with a chainsaw and almost killed some blonde girl, funniest shit ever. Patrick's girlfriend walks in the garage with us. She is a light skinned Mexican that was very short, probably around 5 ft. At times she would just be bipolar, she would sometimes love him and sometimes she would hate him. Monica was wearing a Dodger baseball shirt, white shorts that are from Hollister and also red Vans. “Hey Baby” Monica says to Patrick in the fakest cute voice ever. “Monica what did I tell you about calling me that shit? God I hate it!” Patrick snaps at her.

Alex walks away from the garage quickly and angry not wanting to hear another argument between them. Alex thinks that all the bitches love him but I don't believe it. Even quiet Michael has himself a girlfriend her name was Lynn, who was perfect looking. Nice personality, big tits, nice ass, everything a man wants. To be honest me and her are having an affair. The girl that is supposed to be my “fiance”, her name, Destany.  Who was also perfect looking, yet, there was something about Lynn who I just have to be sleeping with all the damn time. Hey if you can have more than one girl, than do it!

 

Cheating

 

“What do you mean you are busy?” I say in a pissed off voice. “No, no I don't care if you are going somewhere with Michael. Lynn ask me if I care? I-do-not-care!.....What?! I am not fucking repeating myself!” I hang up the phone on Lynn and I sit down on my long brown couch that my mom let me have. I sigh and I sit there all by myself just thinking whether to stay home or not, but, I have a better idea.

I pick up my phone and scroll through all my contacts until I notice that there was this girl named Cindy that wanted to meet me today and she left me her number but never decided to even call the damn number. So I dial her number and wait for the phone to start ringing. I hear the phone start ringing then I hear the most sweetest voice that I have ever heard in my life say “Hello?” I say in a sweet but masculine voice “Hey Cindy , remember me? You wanted to meet me today?” She quickly responds “Oh yes I remember, what is up?” I respond “Why don't you come on over?” “Oh of course , see you soon.” “See you soon.” “Ok?” She says in a bored voice. I hang up on her, what a bitch.

I wait about two hours for her to come and as soon as she came, she sat down on my couch and so did I. I started look at her slowly checking her out. I notice that she has a nice ass but not tits but I guess its okay. “I am going to be very straight with you, I honestly just want to fuck you.” She starts giggling and shakes her head in total denial. “I don't think so.” She says trying to be nice. What a total bitch. She wanted to meet me and now she does not want to fuck? Who does that shit?

She is wearing a beautiful cheetah blouse and with a black skirt with heels which I totally love. I believe girls are so sexy in them but who knows. “Oh, I do apologize” I say in a sincere voice. Her nice manicured hands hold onto her knees and asks me “What would you like to do? I am up for anything.” At that moment I have had enough of this bipolar bitch. “Would you like something to drink?” I ask politely. She quickly responds “Sure.” I stand up and move towards the kitchen at a regular pace. I open the fridge and grab the Pepsi that was in the fridge and while she is not looking I put some Spanish Fly in the drink that I got from my pants pocket and I grab the drink and walk back at a very regular pace and I place it down on the coffee table in front of her and she says “Oh, why thank you.” She takes a drink and quickly comments “It really has an odd but delightful taste.” I just smile and nod to the comment that she just made. She starts smiling and giggiling, I know that the Spanish Fly kicking in rather satisfyingly. She puts the drink down and slowly walk towards me legs crossing as she walks towards me.

She gets on the couch and she straddles my lap and says in a rather sexy voice “I did not notice how sexy you were.” She quickly starts unbuttoning my shirt as I start taking off her clothes. She goes down to her knees and starts unbuttoning my pants with her mouth slowly and when she unbuttons them she pulls them down with all her force. My dick nice and hard just from checking her out. She quickly puts my dick in her nice and wet mouth and starts sucking on it. Her mouth going up and down on the shaft gracefully. She pulls my dick out of her mouth and jacks it off slowly but hard making squirting noises from all of the spit on my hard dick. She looks up at me and says “I want you to fuck me so hard!” Her begging turns me on a lot so I quickly grab her and pull down her skirt and panties at the same time and I quickly but in no hurry, I push my dick in her pussy that was wet already. I start fucking the living shit out of her in my favorite position which was doggy style. As I fucked her she rubbed her clit and the faster I fucker her the more her pussy got more wet and it turned me on so damn much.

We fucked for a while, she had four orgasms and she let me blow a load on her tits. I told her that she can use my shower if she wanted to. She nodded and walked into the bathroom and I had the shower turn on. I walk into my closet in my room and looked around and I found my brand new ax that I bought at Home Depot, which was on sale for $20. It was a killer deal.

I walk up to the door and turn on the knob to the bathroom. The bathroom was all white, white tile and white everything. The bathroom was very warm because she turned on the water to very warm. I walk slowly to the shower and I slowly put my ax down and lean it against the wall next to the shower. She couldn't see me because the steam was too thick to see through it. She turned off the shower and I heard a large sigh coming from the bathroom.

The steam cleared rather slowly and she turns towards the glass door of the shower with her eyes closed and when she finally opened them and layed eyes on me she yelled “What the hell are you doing in here?!” I quickly try to open the door put she grabs it quicker and trys to keep it shut and screams “What the hell are you doing?!” I tell back “Open this fucking door you bitch!” She screams and kicks the door open which hits me in the face which gives me a blood nose but does not knock me down. I see her try to run away but I grab her hair and I slam the shower door and I throw her with all my force through the glass shower door CRASH! All the glass shatters everywhere. I walk through the broken shower door and I grab her by the hair and drag her ass out of the shower and throw her on the floor. She is unconscious when I throw her back out. I turn around and grab the ax and I swing it at her body, Crack! The sound of her spine breaking and blood spurting out from her body Crack! As I keep swinging more and more blood splatter onto my face and gets all over the walls Crack! I swung about fifteen times when no more blood came out of her body. She was basically a puddle now and I sit down by her dead body and just laugh. I stand up and clean my axe all nice and I tell her “You dirtied my ax you bitch!”

At the Mall

“Mmmm. Wow that was delicious. What did you think?” Destany says. “I have had better.” “What are you talking about? You finished before me.” She giggles and smiles. “I have had better.” It was a chilly day in the middle of January and Destany had decided to bring me to the mall and I do not know why.  There was this bomb ass chick that was sitting at the table across from us at the food court that I cannot help but just to check her out. Destany slaps my arm and says “Stop that.” I quickly respond “Stop what?” “You know what you are doing and I don’t like it.” “Do not put me in a bad mood Destany, is it really that serious? Damn.” Destany pouts and looks down and sighs loudly and she raises her voice and says “If you keep this up, I am leaving you here!” I quickly raise my voice too “Leave then! Damn!”  She does not move and she looks at the floor. I just get up and say “Fine then I am leaving.” “Where are you going?” she asks. I don’t say anything just walking away from the table and from the corner of my eye I see her just get up and walk away from the table, but in the opposite direction.

As I walk I see a guy who was black, a little shorter than me that was wearing a shirt that looked like it was from Wal-Mart and some G-unit shorts that was trying to act like if he was somebody. He walked up to me as I was walking and he told me “Bro that was messed up what you did back there.” I yell in his face “Fuck you!” and I walk out the mall.

 

 

Taking a .45 Magnum to the Grocery Store

 

I was cruising around the block in my red 1999 Honda Civic with some fresh 22 inch rims and a fresh exhaust pipe that is loud as fuck. I turned up the radio when my song came on. I always drove over 15 miles per hour over the speed limit cause I don’t care if I kill anyone or not. If they die, oh well it is their fault not mine. I drove into the parking lot to some local grocery store that I always go to. I park in the handicap parking, closer is always better in my book. I look down and sigh and as I look up I see Andrew, Andrew Perez. That son of a bitch. There was only one reason why I hated him they way I did. He was the one who took my job when I got fired for no reason. I quickly open my glove compartment and my .45 Magnum revolver that my homie gave to me last week that usually costs $500. It had a long silver barrel that shines when in the sun and it had that old fashion look to it as if I was used in the Wild West. I loved it so much. It was my hero. Every man loves his gun more than anyone. Just as I was about to load it, from the corner of my eye I say Andrew leave the store and a storm of relief breezes over me and I smile and I say to myself “Not today.” I start the car and fly out of the parking lot.

 

A Day in a Life

 

“Hey baby, shoot me those digits though!” Alex yells across the restaurant to some babe that is sitting across with her girly friends. The friends that can care less how you feel on a daily basis. All they do is ask if the damn clothes they are wearing makes their ass look too big or whatever the fuck they say. They are the type of girls that will not shut up about their boyfriends or what the hell they bought at the mall and taking selfies every goddamn five minutes as if they look any damn different than from five minutes ago. “Aye baby! Are you going to shoot them or wha’?” Alex repeats himself. The girl yells “Shut up asshole!” and Patrick laughs to himself with his Diet Coke in his hand. I was looking at the girl that told Alex to shut up. She was wearing this shirt with this pyramid looking thing and there is a white line that goes through the pyramid and it makes a rainbow, I do not know what the fuck that is. She was also wearing high shorts that she probably bought from Forever 21 and some black but not shiny boots that she probably bought from some fucking thrift store or whatever they are called. I really don’t care.

I decided to talk to this girl, I did not care if her friends were there ready to judge, however, I was not ready for the most annoying giggling that these bitches were about to put me through. I slowly get up at a slower pace than how I usually stand up. As I get up I look at that girl, which for some reason was bugging the shit out of me. I walk to the bathroom to look at myself to make sure that I look somewhat decent and also to take some selfies in the bathroom. As I quickly walk out of the bathroom, I look over at the table where I was sitting before I went to the bathroom and I noticed that Patrick and Alex have ditched me. I was not worried to much about Patrick for I knew that he had reservations to some restaurant that he was going to take Monica to for their anniversary. Restaurants that you had do dress up for and have manners and what not.  Alex on the other hand, he will pay someday, he will pay.

 

Thomas Davis

 

As i sit in my fuckin dope ass car holding my .45 Magnum in front of Burgers and Washers. I know that Thomas Davis is working and I have a fucking genius idea. I get out and close the door rather slowly. I walk in the place and walk around and Thomas is in the front and he sees me and says "Jay, how have you been? Long time no talk bro!" What a fake son of a bitch calling me Bro. I smile and say "We should chill what time do you get off?" "At midnight, we can drink and shit like that." "Oh yeah, that would be cool, im down bro" He says "Well see you then." If nobody was there i sear to God i would just kill him and smear the blood all over the damn place and not give a DAMN!

I drive down to the little liquor store in the middle of nowhere and i rob it the damn place and i shoot the owner in the fucking face with my Magnum and steal of the liquor from him and i drive back home to wait for Thomas's bitch ass.

While i wait, i clean and get rid of what was left of Cindy and disinfect the bathroom and all of that shit. Around one in the morning, i hear my doorbell ring and i open the door and i pretend he was my friend. "Aye Bro! Come in, come in." Of course he listened to me and once he saw all of the damn liquor and that son of a bitch started drinking like as if it was water. Beer, tequila, vodka, whiskey, rum, screwdrivers, stoli on the rocks and everything else you can think of. He was fucking drunk.

He just say there telling me how much of an asshole i was and how Patick was cuter than me. How Patrick had class, style and manners and how i just had me. Nothing else. I knew Thomas hated rap music so i put on "Too Cool for School" by Fountains of Wayne.

He hummed throughout the whole thing and i walked in my garage looking for something to end this fuckers life with. I did not know what to pick. A nail gun? Staple gun? I thought about the lawnmower but it is too big. I wanted something simple. Then, i knew exactly what to do. I just didnt have the tool.

I walked back into the house and i realized he was gone. Then, i heard something upstairs, so i ran upstairs making sure he didnt fuck anything up. I walked in the room that had nothing in it. Half of the walls were painted black and other others were painted white. There were two windows like eyes that were watching everything i did. He was in the bathtub pretending he was a fish and he had the water running too. I laugh and i run downstairs and i grab my toaster that i had no idea why i had. I just stole it from a friend of mine. He was still saying "I am a little fishy." I laugh at this and i say "Thomas? Do you know how much i fucking hate you?" He laughs and swims more. "I hate you so much, so damn much." I smile and laugh and i plug in the toaster and i put it down next to the bathtub. I push his fucking face into the water and holding it there. At first he started kicking and moving alot, but, the longer i held it the less he moved. I held him there for about a minute and then i let him go to catch is breath and as soon as i saw him get up i threw the toaster in the water and then BAM! the toaster exploded and he started shaking and you heard the electricity run through his body ZZZ! His skin started turning black from his electrocution  and his eyes rool in the back of his head and he fell face first on the floor and i laugh heistarically through his death. His flesh, burned and nice and crispy.

After he cooled off, i opened the window to my room to get the nasty fucking stench out. I grabbed his body and i picked him up and i throw him out my window with all my force and CRACK! his bones breaking after he smacks the floor and i laugh, just laugh.

I walk downstairs and i get me a bowl of cereal, i am hungry.

Friday

We were all here. Patrick, Alex, Micheal, Monica and Lynn too. Oh yeah and Destany. I hated being with them. They were just so damn fake. They were the definition of fake. There was no friendship or anything. Ask anybody. If you have weed you are all of a sudden everyone's friend.

All of the time they would just smoke, smoke and smoke. Smoke and say stupid shit and smoke again. Why do i hang with them? I always asked myself that stupid ass question. There was only one answer: I was scared ti be alone, i need the attention, i want to fit in, and i am bored. Thats all you can fucking do now a days is just fit in. They all got high except me and while they laughed i say " I hate you all, i want to kill of you bitches." They kept laughing and saying "Bro you are too funny" i kept a straight face and flipped all of them off.

Too Cool For School

I decide to take a little visit ot the local university and party. My kind of fun. They let me into the party. Plent of fun things to do. Drink, Smoke weed, meth, crack, coke and herion, all of the fun stuff. I decide to have a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade and just sit down and watch all of the college kids. Then i see her. She was earing a leopard print short dress with black heels and leggings. She had lucious jet black hair. She was fucking bomb.

Making sure i looked good before i went up to talk to her, checking in the mirror. I looked good alright. I was wearing a plain black shirt, jeans, some kick ass PF Flyers and had my hair slicked back and smoking a cigarette looking at her. I walk up to her and say "Hi. I am Jay. I have not seen you on campus before, what is your name?" She bites her lip and i know she is checking me out and she says" My name is Rebecca, nice to meet you Jay." I bring her to the middle of the room and i start dancing with her and she starts grinding her ass on me and starts all that twerking shit. The college students cheeing GO GO GO! They are all drinking like if it was water.

She pushed me down and she started giving me a lap dance.She was turning me on all good. Then all of a sudden she was giving me a blowjob. She did a fucking amazing job and then next thing you know the whole room was people fucking each other. I saw girls fingering thier friends and guys fucking other girls so hard and nice. I look up and i see her riding my dick so good. Her pussy was beyond amazing.

After we were done i asked her if she wanted to go for a drive and i will let her drive. She nodded and we headed towards the car and we got in and she stared driving up the hill and then i pulled out my Magnum and then BAM! Shot her in the fucking brains and her brains splattered all over the window and you can see her brain cause her head was wide open and i just laugh, it was great. I jump out of the car and then BAM! she crashes as i get another cigarette and light it and smoke it and walk away leisurely.

Mowing and Cutting

I drive to Lynn and Michael's House and i pick the lock brining my bottle of chlorform into the house. I walk up stairs around two in the morning. I walk into their bedroom and i see that they are both asleep. I smile and i pour some chlorform on a rag and put it over both of their faces so they stay asleep a little longer. I grab Michael and i bring him to the garage and i lay him on the floor softly and gently. He moves slowly around as i walk over and i grab the lawn mower and i turn it on. The loud roar of the mower i didnt mind but it slowly woke Michael up i lifted the top of it up where the blades are spinning and i walk over to Michael and i drop it on his face and then all of his brain and blood started spurting everywhere and i started seeing his bones fly and it was all very amusing to me. I grabbed the chainsaw too and i ran up stairs still hearing the lawnmower cutting Michael up into little pieces. I start the chainsaw, but Lynn wasn't in bed, then BAM! she hit me in the back of the head which knocked me to the floor and she started running. I got up so fast and i chased her with the chainsaw so i just chuck the chainsaw at her which hits her and starts cutting her body and she starts getting cut and falling down the stairs and i just laugh. It is so funny just watching this happen.

I sit down on the stairs and while i laugh i start to cry. Then laugh again. I have realized that i have killed many people, but should i care? Sometimes i get sad, but trust me i brush off those emotions right away. I know I am Psycho, but i dont give a damn anymore.

I hear a knock on the door and i go and i pick up the bottle of chlorform and i walk up to the door and i answer it, it is Alex. He walks in and sees Lynn's dead body and yells "What the fuck are you....." I break the glass bottle on his head in mid sentence and he falls to the floor. I run out the door and down the street and i turn around and i see police cars stop in front of the house and the police run in and i start laughing. A few minutes later, Alex is in handcuffs and saying how he is innocent but the cops dont believe him it was funny. I yell "I told you will pay you son of a bitch!" I walk away lesiurely and laugh. I have won.

 

 

 


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