Vampires and Lilies

You have to keep going this story was sooo good.

LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!! you should check out my book
Fake Blood xo

Aww..She likes him. It is good this far. I will read more later. XD

.....loved it!!!!

I like it... don't worry about me critizing because I wrote a story almost like twilight too...although I ment to make it different. It's called

Bloodbond: Empathy, try to read it please

Ok omg.. I am so in love with twilight, and this is like awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok I know... what your thinkin....another edward crack head fan... well no.. I like Jacob more then Edward but I dont hate Edward hes nice, but Ima werewolf person, though more of my stories are about bella and him! check out my profile btw!!!!!!!!!!! ahhh! I started like 6 new novels and ima going crazy.., and btw I love Yin and Hei from darker then black! wooo! ...

This is really good written. I am impressed. I will continue this later on. Promise.

Interesting. You've got some nice characters there, very distinctive, memorable. I can actually see some of the anime influence there, in my minds eye it has a very simmilar format, particyularly close ups of dividers between scenes, like the school bell. A good opening chapter, I look forward to reading more.>

Seriously. If this was just a TAD more original, it would be TONS better than Twilight. Just spice it up a bit. Good Luck!

The end of this chapter was good, but you might want to make it less like the real book, like I said. You are doing exceptionally well right now and you could go very far!!!

great job so far! Just work on not overusing commas and quit with the run-ons. Other than that, there was great substance. Like I said before, though, try not to make it exactly like Twilight. I know you said to be sparing with critiques-all I'm saying is to watch your grammar and don't fall too deep into Twilight. Okay? Thanks. Great job, though! Can't wait to finish it!

oh wow...you must've taken a while with this! If it's all like this, it's got to be good! I understand it was written while you were in the peak of your twilight obsession...you might want to make it less like twilight--maybe vampires could have different quirks or look different than the ones in twilight. Maybe the characters could meet in a different way. I like how it's definitely reminiscent of twilight without being exactly the same, though. Just look back here and there and change some things and it'll be VERY good-also-I am the worst twilight hater ever in the world, so if I say I like it, you've pulled it off and you've got talent. Warmest Wishes, Enrai Manako

I. LOVE. IT. It is so addicting. I want an Alexander all to myself. I love it, though its a shame that is the end. :(

YES!!!!!!!! I WANT MORE!!!

Awesome story!!! Is this the end?????

one word.....HOT! keep it up. oh n check out my new novel
called, "Sakura Fragments"

Your a great writer, but I have one question to ask:

The part where you wrote:

“No! I mean, it’s alright.” I looked up and smiled. “I can do it.” I looked in his eyes. I could feel my neck turn red. He was staring back down at me, his face furious and in shock. My eyes grew wider, and my breathing got faster. Wh... what’s happening to me? He continued to stare at me, and I could see that his eyes were black, burning with fury. My throat felt tight and I could feel beads of sweat running down my neck. I... I’m choking!


That part confused me. What happened that mad him so mad? And was he the one 'choking' her? Ugh! I'm so confused. Please elaborate :D I love your writing. I must confess that I am not a twilight fan, but I'm hooked on your story ^-^ Post soon and please explain the part that confused me. Thanks!