For the Love of Cola

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

A melodramatic Clash of wills between a desperate man and soda machine.


It was dark all about me; save for the red and white glow that said "Cola" across my face. I stood before the vending machine, my ears intently focused on the humming of its refrigerator device. The Cursed soda dispenser!! My Mortal Enemy! My tormentor! It stood there, matching my unbending gaze without falter, the stoic guardian of the treasure i sought. It was like the guardian of Atlas’ apples, except that i was not Hercules and this beast would dispense with its hoard for the piddly sum of $1.25. I hurled my fist into he air with anger and gusto!! I cursed my poverty of Pocket change!!

A thought zapped to my mind. The only thing separating me from my sweet black ambrosia was a thin veil of colorful plastic. But Alas!! The rigid shackles of ethics and morality prevented me from destroying and stealing what was not mine.

I dropped to the floor with an air of Desperation. My eyes darted into the darkness below, looking for someone’s ill luck to be my good fortune. DRAT! Nothing!! I snapped back up to my feet, mind racing over my few remaining options.

I jammed myself between the cola machine and the snack dispenser next to it. Then i grumbled as I saw the cursed picture of the stick man toppling the behemoth.

After I extricated myself, i rifled trough my pockets for the fifth time, coming up with a used tissue, a water-tattoo of a cute animal, an exploded pen and half of a rubber band. I angrily thrust the items back into my pockets. There was nothing I could do!! Nothing!! Curses!!

The picture of the red bottle seemed to taunt me. It sat there, sweating and beading in a pile of clear ice, looking cool smooth and delicious, almost as alluring as a beautiful woman. The lucky jerk standing next to it must have been in Nirvana.

I sank to my knees. In complete and utter desperation, I cried out, begging the almighty soda machine to share!! I sadly touched the bright buttons, fondly tasting each beverage by memory on the way down. I laid my head on the last one in sadness.

I heard a noise. Banging and bumping, the sweet cacophony of noise that a cola dispenser makes when giving a product. Could it be true? Or was it a cruel trick? The robot noises continued for a few seconds more, and then quit. The distinct opening of a metal door.

I looked down hesitantly at the soda port. A red cap protruded. I drew out a bottle of cola!! Ecstasy!! Unspeakable Joy!! My eyes welled with tears of happiness as I prepared to take a sip.

I was interrupted by more machine noises. Another soda bottle came out. And then another. Another. They came out faster than I could pick them up!! A veritable Cornucopia of Cola!!

I lovingly tapped the benevolent vending machine, and carried my loot back to the hotel room. I enjoyed sweet carbonation far into the night.


Submitted: February 09, 2008

© Copyright 2022 Martin Mackeith. All rights reserved.

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I loved it! It was very funny, very enjoyable to read. But truthfully I hope no one is that desperate for a soda any day. Truly a funny read. =D Mandy

Sat, February 9th, 2008 7:22am

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