Black and White Lights*

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Have you ever fallen in love with your worst enemy?

Submitted: July 23, 2012

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Submitted: July 23, 2012

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Black and White Lights

 

"Amber, girl--"

 

I turned around to see Josh Hanks--the hottest senior boy in the school prancing up to me with a leap in his step. I smiled and blushed madly as I turned to look at him. He leaned on the lockers and caught his breath.

 

"You comin' to Reid's Party tonight?" He asked me cooley.

 

I shoved my geometry book into my locker it shut it, "I don't know--" I had never been to a party before in my life--sure birthday parties--but these high school get togethers were something different completely.

 

"Aww come on girl,"He said rubbing my cheek with his thumb, "It'll be fun--in fact, I'll bring you there myself--you can be my date."

 

"okay," I blushed. I couldn't believe the most popular boy in school had asked me to go to the biggest party of the year with him. I wasn't anything special; my hair was dull and brown and it was cut in a short unappealing bob. I was barely an A cup and I was only 5 foot 2. I wondered why he didn't ask a prettier girl to go with him.

 

"I'll pick you up at 7, okay?"

 

"Um--yes! yes! okay--"

 

"Later," He said and he walked off with his signature swagger.

 

I exploded inside. Like fireworks on the Fourth of July. It was amazing how fast my heart could beat by just thinking about him. How could it be that he wanted me? I must be more beautiful than I thought, especially if Josh Hanks was interested in me. I held my books in my hands and let their end rest on my abdomen as I thought about him. I stared off effortlessly and thought about how amazing this night would be. But just then I felt the books in my hands fall to the ground with a familiar slap and snicker.

 

Garrett Grey's palm met with the face of my books and slapped them to the ground. Papers fell everywhere and books scattered themselves around the floor. I looked up to see Gary laughing and his friends taunting me as well, "Oops," He snickered, "Sorry bout' that Dyke--"

 

I turned an awful shade of red--partly out of embarrassment but mostly out of anger. I hated him. He had been treating me like shit since 6th grade when I moved to Seattle. I had always had my hair short--only because I prefer it that way--it is easier to manage and long hair never suited me. But he always made jokes about me being lesbian. Rumors have circulated dozens of times--all spread by Gary--about how I had kissed girls and had a secret stash of strap-on's hidden away in my bedroom. None of which were true but because of him I've had that reputation through-out my middle school years and my partial high school ones as well.

 

"Just leave me alone, Gary--" I told him bending over to pick up my books.

 

"What's that, Dyke?"

 

I didn't answer.

 

"Don't be like that--"

 

"Just cut it out, Gary I'm not it the mood." I said after I finally got my books together.

 

"ooohh--" Gary taunted, "Don't make me tell you girlfriend you said that--"

 

I ignored him and began to walk down the hall to the exit.

 

"Where you goin'?" He called after me.

 

I still didn't answer.

 

Then I heard his foot steps as he ran down the hall. He grabbed my shoulder and forced me around to face him, "Where do you think you're goin'?"

 

"To my car. I'm going home."

 

"I'm not done talkin' to you yet--" He insisted.

 

"I am." and I took his hand off my shoulder forcefully and I began to walk out.

 

"Hey!" He called angrily, "Don't you fucking talk to me that way,"

 

"You can't tell me what to do!" I yelled at him.

 

"You'd do good to listen,"

 

"Leave me alone---" I was cut off by a slap in the face. He hit me hard on my left cheek and it stung as I fell and hit my head on the metal door hinge. I laid there for a second, and then I forced myself up holding the tears in--because i refused to cry.

 

"You watch what you say, Dyke," Gary told me, slightly phased by what just happened. Then he and his friends left.

 

I hated that Garrett Grey. He had called me names and spread rumors...but he had never hit me before. no, he never had.

 

I tried to toss any thought of him out of my mind--I didn't want him to ruin my day and especially not my evening with Josh. So I pulled a headband out of my purse and put it on so it just covered the gash on my forehead. After i was sure any trace of tears was gone from my face and that the mark was covered made my way out to my Corolla.

 

**********

 

My father wasn't home--which was good--I didn't want to explain the gash on my forehead right away. I rushed up to my room after I got home and threw my belongings carelessly on my bed. then I went to my restroom mirror.

 

I slowly removed my head band and saw a quarter sized gash on the right side my my forehead. It had taken off a fair amount of skin and drew quite a bit of blood. i hadn't realized it had soaked through my headband. I sighed and dabbed it off with a towel. After rinsing it off with some water, I tried to find a band-aid. But of course we were out. So I decided to just comb my bangs to cover it.

 

After I had finished messing with it, I checked my phone and saw that the time was 6:30. So I took that time to do my make-up and pick out a dress and shoes for the evening. I finally decided on a blue summer dress that trailed all the way to the ground with a beaded collar with some pretty sandals I had never gotten the chance to wear. I made sure my hair was combed so it covered the gash and just as I was looking myself over in the mirror there was a knock at the door.

 

I grabbed my purse and rushed down stairs. I took a breath in front of the door and smoothed out my dress before opening the door.

 

"Hey, Beautiful," He smiled.

 

I blushed, "Hey, Josh,"

 

"Ya ready to go?"

 

"You bet I am--"

 

He hooked arms with me and led me to his old red Mustang.

 

**************

 

As we pulled up I could feel the ground shaking from the music. There were crowds of people flooding into a single house. I saw lights from cigarettes all around and a big bonfire in the backyard. As he came around and opened my door for me, I could smell the stench of alcohol in the air as as well as a hint of marijuana.

 

It was so crazy getting inside, the people standing around were all a bit drunk and were oblivious to fact that they were blocking the doorway. It was even more crowded than it was out side. beer bottles were everywhere, people were making out at every corner and there were girls in black hats stripping on the dining room table blowing kisses to the crowd. I looked around and saw paint on the walls that lit up bright--like glow in the dark but unbelievable. Black lights I think they are called. As soon as we made our way around the crowd, Josh found me a place to sit on the sofa and he left to get me a drink.

 

"Look who it is--" I heard the voice when Josh left, "i didn't know Miss Amber Dyke would be here tonight--"

 

I turned away from him, and touched the wound on my head as if to remind myself about what I had failed to forget. They continued to make rude remarks until Josh came back. Then they left.

 

"I got you some wine," He told me loudly over the music, " I hope red is okay."

 

I nodded and took it from him. I had never had anything alcoholic before, but I figured now was a better time than ever to give it a try. i brought the glass to my lips and took a sip and immediately choked. It was awful. bitter and dry.

 

Josh laughed a bit, "Not a drinker are you?"

 

I shook my head and blushed. I was so embarrassed.

 

He took my hand, "Lets go someplace quieter," He said and he led me through the crowd of people and upstairs to an empty room. He shut the door behind us, but you could still hear the music--muffled through the walls and the ground still bounced with the beat.

 

"Loud isn't it?" Josh laughed.

 

I nodded, "sure is,"

 

We both sat on the bed. He sat very close to me.

 

"I'm glad you could be here with me tonight," He said romantically.

 

I blushed.

 

"You know you are so pretty,"

 

"Really?"

 

"yeah."

 

"thanks" I was still blushing madly.

 

It was a little awkward for a while, then out of nowhere I felt his finger lift my chin up and he kissed me. It was a soft kiss at first, then he started to kiss me faster and harder. He slid his tongue between my lips and I did the same. He held me close and kissed me for what seemed like forever. i was so happy until I felt his hand slide up my shirt.

 

"Josh--" I said with a spare breath, but he silenced me with another kiss. he then threw himself on top of me and began sliding my shirt off me. I struggled under him.

 

"Josh , stop--"

 

But he wouldn't. I stopped kissing him and started pushing his chest until I had successfully gottenn him off me.

 

"What the hell is wrong?" He asked angrily.

 

"I don't want to do this," i told him, "I asked you to stop."

 

"I didn't know you were serious!"

 

"Well I was,"

 

"I guess you don't want to be my girl friend, Amber,"

 

"Josh I never said that--"

 

"I don't date girls that are afraid to take a step forward," he told me, "You are so lame, Amber--a goody-two-shoes-- I don't know what I ever saw in you."

 

and with that he left and slammed the door behind him.

 

My heart sank. What had I done? What was wrong with me? I felt stupid. Embarrassed and without. Why didn't I just do it? Why didn't I just go all the way with him?

 

*************

 

I sat out side in the back staring at the flames rise and fall out of the bonfire. The garss here was stained with the black light paint, just like the walls all around me. It gave the place an interesting feel. The moon was out tonight--it was full and shone down on me with a bright white light. The radio was playing back here, and because everyone was so drunk I decided to change the station to one that played a more mellow kind of music. I sat and watched my tears fall into the grass. I was rethinking the entire night--the scene in the bedroom and how Josh told me off. I was about to go apologize and tell him I would do it when i saw him having sex with one of the girls in the black hats and red lipstick right on the couch in the living room.

 

He moves on fast I guess.

 

Me not so much. I really liked him. And I realized--after some thought--that he only wanted me for sex. How could I have been so stupid not to see that? I sniffed and grabbed a handful of my hair--I didn't know why--maybe to transfer the pain from my heart to somewhere else. anywhere else.

 

"What are you doing out here, Dyke?" I heard that dreadful voice of Garrett Grey.

 

I looked up, with a tear stained face and then back down again, "Please leave me alone, Gary."

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"Please--"

 

He seemed to consider leaving for a moment before dismissing the idea and he took a seat next to me on the lawn chair, "Tell me..." He said, "Why are you crying?"

 

"Gary, no offense but you are the last person i want to talk to right now." and that was the truth. I would have much preferred the player over him right now.

 

He didn't say anything. He just looked down unsure what to say. I was so confused. Was he really concerned?

 

"I want to go home--" I choked through tears.

 

"Why don't you?"

 

"The guy I came with is busy."

 

"What?" He asked surprised, "Who did you come with?"

 

"Joshua Hanks."

 

"That doosh bag?" He asked, "Why did you go with him?"

 

"He asked me to come--I thought he really liked me--" why was I opening up to him?

 

"Is that what's wrong?"

 

I cried some more. Gary surprisingly rubbed my back and stroked my hair--comforting me as i cried, "We went upstairs and he tried to have sex with me. When I told him no, he said I was lame and wasn't fit to be his girl friend."

 

"Amber, he is such a dick don't listen to him."

 

"like you're any better," I said shoving away his comforting hand. I stood up and began to walk away.

 

"wait!" he called after me, when he caught up to me he turned me around to face him. "Where are you going?"

 

"Home," I said, feeling a bit of de ja vu.

 

"How far?"

 

"4 miles," I said, "I can walk."

 

"not in the dark you can't,"

 

"I'll be fine."

 

"please stay--"

 

"Gary! I'm sick of this I just want to go home and forget this entire day ever happened--"

 

"Please, Amber," He stammered, "Some friends are borrowing my truck...they'll be back at eleven and I can take you home then."

 

i just stared at him. I thought about what to say to the boy who had been my utter adversary since 6th grade. Do I say sure? or do I ignore him and keep walking? I continued to look at him, gazing deep into his chocolate brown eyes--they reflected something that was never present in him before. I couldn't tell what it was.

 

"Please--"

 

I didn't answer him verbally--I just walked back to the yard and took my seat back on the lawn chair. He sat next to me once again and it was silent for a good 5 minutes or so.

 

"You aren't drunk--" I said looking up trying to start a conversation.

 

"No--"

 

"Everyone else is,"

 

"I don't drink,"

 

"I never would have guessed."

 

"Do I seem like the type to drink?"

 

"Somewhat--yeah."

 

"Oh, I didn't know--" He said, looking up at me. He stared at me for a moment then I looked down.

 

"No, wait--" He said softly and put a finger under my chin and lifted my head to face him. He carefully moved the bangs on my right side out of the way to reveal the mark on my forehead. He must have seen it before. I had forgotten my hair had been messed up.

 

I turned away from him and placed a hand over the gash so he couldn't see. I didn't know why I didn't want him to see it--it wasn't like he didn't know it was there. It still stung slightly as I touched it.

 

"I'm sorry," He told me.

 

I laughed a bit through my tears, "you're sorry?"

 

"I know it doesn't mean much--"

 

"It doesn't mean anything." I assured him.

 

"I really am sorry," He said after a while.

 

"Just save it, Gary."

 

"Why won't you listen to me?"

 

"Because I don't care about what you have to say, maybe if you--"

 

"Shut up!" He shouted.

 

I cowered a little remembering the last time he had gotten angry at me. I stood up quickly and walked in the direction of the radio--I wanted to get away from him. I was afraid to get hit again.

 

He stood up just as quickly as I had and grabbed my hand, "No Amber, please--I didn't mean to yell--" He tugged me a bit so I was closer to him. I looked away and squinted my eyes tight. "Oh, Amber, I'm not going to hit you--"

 

I realized he had been using my name and not the term 'dyke' when he referred to me. Why was everything so back wards?

 

"I never intended to hurt you," He said. I considered adding something but decided against it, "I don't know what I was thinking at the time--I know its not an excuse--but I just want to make it better."

 

I was crying again.

 

"Oh, Amber please--" He begged rubbing my cheek with his thumb, "Please don't cry." I didn't know why I was so emotional that night. Maybe because everything was going wrong. the boy I liked had just tossed me aside like a piece of trash and the boy I hated was acting like he cared about me.

 

I took a deep breath and forced myself to stop crying. i never let any one see me cry--and i couldn't believe I had just cried my eyes out over and over in front of the horrible Garrett Grey.

 

"You, Okay?" Gary asked rubbing my arm with a comforting hand.

 

"I guess," I sniffed.

 

"Any thing I can do to make it better?"

 

"No,"

 

He looked down and seemed to be lost in thought for a moment or so. Then he walked off to the radio. He turned up the volume. It was a song I didn't know--generic however. A placid rhythm of a guitar. There were some words though i didn't care to make them out. He turned to face me, "Dance with me?"

 

"With you?" I inquired.

 

He smiled, and nodded, "Come on," He said grabbing my hand.

 

He put his hands on my waist and I hesitantly interlinked my arms around the back of his neck. We swayed with the music--stepping right then left and right again. I looked down at my feet--or rather the end of my dress--the whole time, afraid I would trip or step on his foot. I was very clumsy.

 

He was smiling when I looked up at him. His eyes were the of darkest chocolate and his hair was the same shade--a mess atop his head. He hadn't shaven in a few days so he had a slight stubble but it looked good on him. He smelled like sandalwood and aftershave. Strange it seems but it smelled surprisingly good.

 

"You are an excellent dancer," He said smoothly.

 

I realized we had been looking into each others yes for a while so i looked away, "Not really, I'm dreadfully clumsy."

 

He laughed and pulled me a little closer. It was somewhat comforting. being with him. I wondered why. He had never acted this way before at school.

 

"You look really beautiful tonight," What did he say?

 

"No," I said, "My make-up is smeared, my hair is messed up and I'm sure I lost an earring earlier--"

 

"It doesn't matter," He told me, "You are still beautiful."

 

"What happened to dyke?"

 

"I'm sorry about that too." I looked him in the eyes. He was sorry? "I don't know why I ever called you that."

 

"You've been calling me that everyday since I moved here and you never thought about why?"

 

"Well I did, I guess," He said, "But until now, just being here with you--I can't imagine what I had been thinking."

 

"I don't understand."

 

"That's okay."

 

When the song ended, we didn't stop dancing. We kept the pace for the next song which was very similar.

 

"Will you forgive me?" Gary asked.

 

"what?"

 

"For all those horrible things I did to you?"

 

"Gary--"

 

He rested his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes as we swayed back and forth. His eyes were closed and seemed strangely hopeful. I looked up at him and did so until he opened his eyes and looked back at me. "I understand if you can't forgive me," He whispered.

 

I looked down. I didn't know what to say. Could I really forgive him for all those things he had done to me? I didn't feel like it could be that easy.

 

Though I chose not to think about it. Instead I focused on the warmth of him, and the way he rested his hands softly on my hips. His forehead rested on mine and his eyes stared deep into mine.

 

"is this a joke?" I asked.

 

"What? No, Amber--"

 

"A dare?" I asked, "are you're friends video taping this?"

 

"No, Amber, I promise."

 

I smiled and he smiled back at me. a genuine smile. Not a taunting grin. I looked into his eyes...deeper and deeper...they burned into mine like chocolate fire. I was mesmerized, so much that I nearly forgot how to breathe. Time seemed to slow down as he began to lean towards me. My heart was beating a million miles an hour as his lips met mine. His lips were warm and fit mine like the missing piece of a puzzle. He pulled me close as he kissed me again. He caressed my face gently and kissed me over and over again.

 

When he pulled away from me he was breathing heavily, and rested his forehead on mine again. He smiled at me and then looked the ground.

 

"You love me?" I asked when I caught my breath.

 

"Yes--"

 

"Since when?"

 

"Since...tonight."

 

"How?" i was so confused.

 

"Something about you--I just see something in you that I never saw before--"

 

I smiled and looked down, then up again, "Gary,"

 

"yes?"

 

"I forgive you."

 

And it was there on a night in late May that I fell in love my worst enemy. Now all is fair and all is right...under these black and white lights.


© Copyright 2017 Mary Smith. All rights reserved.

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