The Night Before Christmas (Hobo Remix)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A classic Christmas story told from a hobo's point of view.

Submitted: June 12, 2010

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Submitted: June 12, 2010

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Twas the night before Christmas, And All through the box,

Not a hobo was sleeping, Not even one with dread locks.

The wet socks were hung, By the bonfire with care,

With hopes that by morning, They would still be there.

The cans were nestled, all snug in their bags,

While mice and insects, crept into my rags.

And me in my beanie, and also my cap,

Had just settled in a hole, for a long winter's crap.

When out on the street, I heard such a clatter,

I sprang from my hole, to see what was the matter.

Away from the ally, I flew like a flash.

I was prepared to kick someone's ass.

The moon on the breast, of the new-paved tar,

Gave the lustre of miday, to objects afar.

When what to my wandering eye should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight little reindeer.

With a little fat man; so strange and queer,

A cigarette in his hands, and also a beer.

More rapid than eagles, the reindeer, they came.

And he tried to remember each of their names:

"All you guys are pretty much the same...Lets get out of here. This place is lame.

To the top of the buildings, to the top of the sky!

To all of you morons below: goodbye!"

So up to the top of the sky, they flew.

With a sleigh full of boose, and that fat dude, too.

And then in a twinkling, I heard in the air,

The little fat man, starting to swear.

As I drew out my head, and was turning around,

I saw the little man fall to the ground.

Landing on his back he came down with a pound,

And laid there in the street, and made not a sound.

He still had his beer, gripped tight in his fist,

His clothes were all tarnished, and he smelled like piss.

A bundle of boose, he had flung on his back.

So I crept up to him, and picked up the sack.

Off to my box in the ally, I went.

I knew my good luck was surely spent.

I exclaimed as I ran out of sight: "Merry christmas to me! This is a good night!"


© Copyright 2020 MaryJayn. All rights reserved.

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