In Echo's eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
In the complex love of Echo and Rae, Echo has a story to tell from her point of view.

Submitted: May 21, 2011

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Submitted: May 21, 2011

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I'm not sure what woke me up. I'd like to believe that it was just the shift in the mattress or that I am a very light sleeper. But I know it's the fact that my body now craves a close proximity with Rae's body. Even if our minds, our beings if you will, are angry at each other, our bodies can never be mad and will go through withdrawal from any separation. It's this closeness with her that almost makes the idea of soul mates believable. Because when we're making love, I cannot tell where she ends and I begin. We are one person and it feels amazing to be conjoined while we spend the entire day separating by two bodies.

So now, because of this connection, I myself find so hard to deny despite how much I may want to, my body is startled by the sudden loss of its donated warmth and wakes up. Searching… searching, for its life partner.

Without even thinking I stand up and my head swivels as my ears reach out. The sound of light splashes of water reaches my brain and the unexpected sound puts my eyes on alert for the source. When my eyes are unable to see, my ears again take over and my feet join in with the reinforcements to help detect the disturbance which could only be being made by Rae.

I find myself at the bathroom. I almost ignore the room seeing as the darkness still encompasses the room in its grip but my ears pull the strings on my legs to make them turn. What meets my eyes is heartbreaking.

My earlier panic stricken body seemed immune to anything except finding its companion. Now that that mission is complete my mind finally regains its control and I am able to hear the soft sobs that are escaping through her adorably small mouth.

I know she doesn't see me, she cannot see anything. All I can see is her young body, still covered in the same clothes from merely a few hours ago, sitting in a half way filled tub. The arms, the legs, any exposed skin is beet red, the blood underneath the delicate tissue threatening to seep through the thinning skin. Why? Because her unbearably scarred arms are scrubbing at any skin easily accessible.

This had been expected. Some form, any form of a reaction to what her innocent soul and shell had to endure was to be expected. I had just been hoping it would happen tomorrow. Always tomorrow. Never expecting today. And why did it have to have been this reaction? Why had she chosen to deal with it this way? Why had she not come and talk to me, or even just cry to me? Why had she not just had nightmares night after night? Why had her brain chosen the most heartbreaking way to deal with the shock? The disgust… The self loathing…

I walk quickly and drop to my knees beside to tub but she doesn't take notice to me until I wrap my hand around her wrist, her aching wrist.

"Rae, stop…"

Her eyes flash to mine and I see the utter shock in them. Then they change to what looks like determination as she quickly rips her arm from my grasp and continues scrubbing at her other arm.

"Echo…I have to…I have to…" she quietly spits out in between hiccupping sobs.

I grab her arm again with more force this time.

"You're not dirty, Rae… There's nothing there." I whisper words that I personally know will not help but they provide enough of a distraction that I am able to slip the sponge from her hand. She coughs up another sob and her eyes close tightly, but I know this is a bad idea. She will only remember more if her eyes have nothing else to see.

"Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes." I chant quickly, placing my hand over her red, tender cheek. She listens to me but just looks straight ahead at the wall.

I reach behind me and pull a large towel off the rack. I stand up slowly, as to not startle her, without breaking the contact between my hand and her face.

"Rae."

Her eyes flash up and finally meet mine with a look of surprise.

"Come on, get up." My hand trails down her body and I lean over to take hold of her hand. Rae’s hand in my own, I help her stand. When she does I can see how truly red she is, how wet and cold, and most importantly, how incredibly wounded she looks. I wrap the towel around her shoulders and figure the only way she'll make it back to the bedroom is if I carry her.

I place my hands around her rib cage under her arms and lift her up like a toddler. This is usually a romantic gesture. Not this time though. I pull her to me as she automatically, out of previous experience, wraps her wet legs around my torso and her arms around my neck.

She burrows her face into me and I know she's trying to block out everything with my scent as I feel her inhale deeply.

"Easy now…" I say instinctively, rubbing her towel covered back with one hand as my other supports her body. I slowly walk back to the bedroom. Very slowly, hoping the motion will be soothing and possibly put her to sleep. I know she’s close, but she is not all the way there as I sit her on the bed with the towel underneath her.

"Let's get these off of you," I say with rare softness as I pry her hands from around my neck and curl my fingers around the hem of her tank top. Her arms reach up as I pull the shirt above her head and reveal her beautiful chest. She then uses the rest of her energy up to lift herself up with her arms as I remove her shorts. Leaving her only clothed in the skin which I know she desperately wishes she could escape. I know she thinks that she has damaged goods. I know she fears I will find her undesirable. This is confirmed when she looks up at me and searches for an expression she expects not to find. How could I have that expression on now? How could I ever even think of touching a broken body in that manner? I kneel in front of her so I'm looking up at her.

"You belong to me, you know that right?"

"Yeah." she whispers, her voice cracking.

"And you know that I belong to you, right?"

She just nods this time, fighting tears.

"And since that is the most important thing, and that has in no way changed, then don't ever think for a minute that anything else has changed, okay?"

Through the sobs she manages to say an "Okay."

I then lean up to kiss the corner of her mouth, then her temple, followed by her forehead, and then finally her lips.

I then sit beside her and she scrambles to straddle me. I know what she wants but I cannot give it to her. I can't indulge in that with these thoughts running through my mind. I cannot do something so very precious while she's having these flashbacks. It may be selfish but I can't bear to face the regret I know would come afterwards. Even when she wraps her legs tighter around me and I can feel the warmth of her body, naturally a higher temperature then my own, pressing against me. A silent plea on her part. I can't bring myself to do it.

So instead I fall onto my back, lying sideways on the bed, and allow her to lie on my stomach. Eventually she falls asleep. As she does I hope that by tomorrow I will have more courage and she will have more confidence. Then at some point during the day, it could be first thing in the morning, or after work, or right before we fall asleep, we will both look at each other and have this mutual understanding that our connection has somehow grown all the more stronger.


© Copyright 2020 MaryKitsune. All rights reserved.

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