The Refined Eternal

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a story about a man who likes to collect brains and hearts from humans to help him to fulfill a life-long goal which involves coupon clipping and cake. Enjoy.

The Refined Eternal

“Take the brain” said the scientist. “And the heart. Burn the rest”

The shady figure walked over to the lifeless body and started to work on his upper-chest to try and remove the heart with something sharp. He was a mysterious fellow thought the scientist. What kind of person came to a morgue asking for specific body parts from a specific person? He was a very furtive character and the scientist didn’t know what to think of him but money comes before curiosity thought the scientist and he had loads of it. He tried to get a better glance at the figure as he went to try and extract the brain from the body but his hood and his mask didn’t give a single centimetre of skin away for the scientist to observe. After a slight struggle, the masked man straightened himself and put the brain and heart from the corpse in a bag of his and in a very low voice mumbled the words ‘thank you’ to the scientist which made a shiver go down his spine. The scientist left the room while the man threw some oil and a match onto the victim and threw the burnt heap down the garbage shoot. He, too then left the room.

*

“Did you get it?” asked Trent

“I did your radiance” replied the masked figure. “I pity mortals and their weak minds, their constant need for material wants allowed me to persuade him so easily with the promise of money. One day we will rise and rule over them with the knowledge of a thousand minds. These are the last two pieces we need to finish our work. It is done.”

“It was nice working with you, but you must go now. You are the final obstacle that hinders me from continuing in my plan”

My Plan!? We were always in this together Trent and you know it. You can’t just kill me, you’re making a big mistake. You kill me and you will open a door you will never close. I have powerful friends-” and with that last word a bullet found its way straight through his brain.

“Your mum doesn’t count” said Trent as he lowered his gun. “You were always the last step I had to take in my plan. I needed the brain and heart of a soul infused with the trait of arrogance and that of a family member which you successfully just fetched for me to complete everything. I have finally finished all my preparation. Wait, why am I talking to myself?” and as he took the brain and heart from his victim and the other two that he had brought in the bag from the scientist to put in the container with the rest of his collection, he started to laugh. Soon, he would be feared all over the world. Soon everyone would bow done to him. Not cheesy at all.

  *

“So you just gave him a brain and a heart just like that” said the lab-assistant.

“Well he gave me like 15 pounds. No one needs to know” said the scientist.

“Seriously? You can't just go around handing out organs to mysterious people for money. This isn't a shop. Wait, that just sounded really wrong just know didn't it?”

“Yep. I really did. But anyway, this will just be our little secret. Here have 5 pounds from what he gave me. You’re my friend, it's a no brainer. Geddit?”

“That was terrible”

“Sorry” mumbled the scientist. “But he was a very weird person though. I tried to live up to his intimidating nature as best as I could but I knew he hardly took any notice of me. I was trying to be really dramatic like in a really low voice I said to him 'take the brain and the heart. Burn the rest' and he was like 'thank you' at the end in a really low voice. I bet it's like one of those movies where he brings the brain to his master or something and then the master kills him because he no longer needs him and then makes a really cheesy line and then scene fades to black. Imagine that. Eh Bret?”

“Uh yeah. Wait I just realised something. If you gave him a brain and a heart. That means that he know has the two main components that are needed to take over the world.”

“Really?”

“No you idiot I was just joking. But he is actually now liable for that Tesco offer where you can get a free train ticket if you trade in a brain. It was called 'a brain for a train' or something.”

*

As Trent put the final brain and heart into the machine, he smiled to himself. His plan was working perfectly and it would all be finished in a matter of minutes. His plan was to place all the brains and hearts that he had collected into his precarious contraption which would harness all the knowledge and life stored in them and concentrate them into one beam that would be directed at Trent’s body. He would soon have the intelligence and lifespan of a God.

“So what's the science behind this thing?”

“Oh. The science. I have no idea. I got the method to do it from some website online. I'm just doing what it says and hoping for the best. Wait, who are you anyway?” Asked Trent.

“Oh me. I'm nobody. You just left the front door open and I just thought I'd come in. I'm homeless you see, but anyway if you really wanted this to be a super-secret villain hideout the first step to go about would be to not put a big sign outside the door saying: 'this house is NOT a super-secret villain hideout”

“Oh right. Well ok then. I mean who do you think you are talking to, you puny peasant! I shall soon be a living God and you shall beg for mercy when I so much as settle my gaze upon you!”

“Is it normal for a nose to be that hairy” the man said as he stared at Trent’s abundance of hair in his nose.

“You shall not be joking when my plan is complete” warned Trent.

“Yeah you're right. I'll actually be laughing!” And with that, the homeless man skipped out the door.

Trent then walked over to the machine and turned it on with the flick of a switch. A blue ominous light emanated from the centre of it and Trent went to position the tip of it towards his body. He then took a slight step back and with a bright flash it was over.

‘Years and years of preparation and it has all come down to this. I feel refreshed somehow. It is like starting a new life. I shall be the one to rule them all!’ and with a clichéd evil-villain laughed he walked out of the door.

*

“The guy is too funny. You really need to meet him.” said the homeless man to his friend. “He was like ‘bow down to me you puny peasant’ and it was just so funny. He had a really hairy nose though. It was really weird.”

“How can a guy trying to harness the knowledge of different brains into his, be funny? He’s a huge threat to the world and someone needs to stop him. I’m gonna tell the police.” He then got up to walk off.

“No, I’ve been spying on this guy for weeks now. His intentions are all for good reasons trust me. I used to know him very well. But he clearly didn’t recognise me in my current state.” he said as he went to try and block his friend.

“How can a man who has been collecting brains and hearts for months have good intentions. His mind is clearly set for world domination. OK that sounds so corny but he’s probably planning to do something of the sort. I’m going” he pushed the homeless man back to the ground and walked off to the police station.

*

Trent was walking along the main street. He felt like a God. He looked to his right. Tesco. He had brought all those brains to trade in because they were useless now. They had been sucked dry. He always wanted to ride on a train. They looked like very interesting contraptions. He was also headed there for another reason. But just as he was about to walk in, he heard a faint sound. Like that of a siren. He turned around and there was a police car driving towards him on the road. As he was walking the car pulled up next to him and a policeman got out the car.

“Sir, you are under arrest for using inhuman methods to enhance your senses and IQ” shouted the policemen.

“I do not deny the charges but I do have my reasons.” replied Trent

“You’ll have enough time to do your explaining in front of the judge” said the policemen as he put handcuffs onto Trent and shoved him into the back of the car.

*

“Are you or are you not currently in the possession of many different stolen hearts and brains?” questioned the judge.

“Well, this is where you are wrong. All those hearts and brains were entitled to me in this wills of all those men and women.

“Well, how do you explain your last heart and brain that you acquired? I have just been told that we have records of the 32 hearts and brains that have been entitled to you but we have no record whatsoever of the 33rd ones. I hereby sentence you to 15 years in prison for the theft of someone’s flesh and blood. Further enquiries will be made as to who this last heart and brain belongs to.” The hammer banged on the wood and Trent was taken to his prison.

*

50 years. They went by very slowly. His machine allowed him to live longer than the usual life-expectancy so age hadn’t really had an effect on his appearance. He had 35 years added on to his sentence because he was found guilty of the murder of Bryce, his ex-assistant from the fingerprints that were found on his gun. When he was finally let out, he was immediately met by an old man whom he faintly recognised.

“Was it worth it all?” asked the man.

“What was?” replied Trent.

“Prison. Was it worth the intelligence and life that the machine gave you?”

“Who are you?” replied Trent ignoring the question.

“Me? How can you not recognise me Trent? I am the one you always strived to beat. You viewed me as your rival but I merely viewed you as a student. Think Trent. Remember. Last time we met was fifty years ago and before that I used to teach you. Think.” Insisted the old man.

“No. You can’t be. I used to know a rival who was rich and young. The man I see before me is old and homeless. How can it be that you’re the man I’m thinking of?” wondered Trent.

“Age has taken its toll on me as you can see but I am. I am Master Clippy. The leader of the super scrimping club: ‘Always getting the best deals even if it means using your wheels’. I always hated that slogan but we had to stick with it. Remember the good old days when we used to spend hours coupon clipping with the other members. But I saw that fierce glint in your eyes sometimes. I knew you strived to be better than everyone in the club. I knew you wanted to lead everyone. I knew that you wanted to save time. That’s why, I guess, that you wanted to improve your intelligence so that you could work out which deals and different products in shops are better value for money. You wanted to be able to do the sums quickly rather than having to cut out vouchers all the time. Then you wanted to live longer so that you would make a profit from it all after a while. A profit that would cumulate over time. You would become the leader of the club and you wanted to show everyone that you were better than me at scrimping.” Trent bowed his head in shame. “But was 50 years in prison worth it? You probably have around 40 years still left to live, but I don’t think that will be long enough to make a big enough sum of savings for you to have said that it was ‘worth it’. You wasted your life Trent and you will never ever be able to get it back. I’m sorry.”

Just then, they heard a shout and turned around to see an old man running towards them. It was the man who reported Trent to the police in the first place.

“Whoops. Hi, my name’s Trenk and I’m really sorry for wasting 50 years of your life. I thought you wanted to take over the world, not take over an unknown coupon clipping club. Well, I made you a cake to say sorry-” his last words were cut off as Trent swung his fist into the man’s jawline. He slumped to the floor and the cake burst out from the box that he had been holding in his arms.

“Well, 50 years was worth waiting for that one punch. That felt good.” And with that he looked down upon the words written on the cake in icing: ‘Deciding whether to eat this cake is a no brainer’

“That’s probably the worst pun I’ve ever heard in my lifetime.” And with that, Master Clippy breathed his last breath and died peacefully with a smile on his face.

“I knew his heart would skip a beat, or ten, when he read that.” Said the obviously-not-unconscious man from the floor.

“Please, stop making terrible puns. They’re getting tomb much for me. Speaking of tombs we should really lay Master Clippy to rest properly. The situation is really too grave to leave him lying there” said Trent

“And you said my puns were terrible” said the man from the floor just as he received a foot in the face from Trent which really knocked him out cold. Trent then walked over and picked up Clippy’s body to bring him somewhere where he could rest in peace without any headaches to rattle his brain. As he walked off into the sunset, Trent couldn’t help but think what a wonderful world this was and how hearty he felt. Then he thought that he should really stop with the puns because they were getting terrible now.The Refined Eternal

“Take the brain” said the scientist. “And the heart. Burn the rest”

The shady figure walked over to the lifeless body and started to work on his upper-chest to try and remove the heart with something sharp. He was a mysterious fellow thought the scientist. What kind of person came to a morgue asking for specific body parts from a specific person? He was a very furtive character and the scientist didn’t know what to think of him but money comes before curiosity thought the scientist and he had loads of it. He tried to get a better glance at the figure as he went to try and extract the brain from the body but his hood and his mask didn’t give a single centimetre of skin away for the scientist to observe. After a slight struggle, the masked man straightened himself and put the brain and heart from the corpse in a bag of his and in a very low voice mumbled the words ‘thank you’ to the scientist which made a shiver go down his spine. The scientist left the room while the man threw some oil and a match onto the victim and threw the burnt heap down the garbage shoot. He, too then left the room.

*

“Did you get it?” asked Trent

“I did your radiance” replied the masked figure. “I pity mortals and their weak minds, their constant need for material wants allowed me to persuade him so easily with the promise of money. One day we will rise and rule over them with the knowledge of a thousand minds. These are the last two pieces we need to finish our work. It is done.”

“It was nice working with you, but you must go now. You are the final obstacle that hinders me from continuing in my plan”

My Plan!? We were always in this together Trent and you know it. You can’t just kill me, you’re making a big mistake. You kill me and you will open a door you will never close. I have powerful friends-” and with that last word a bullet found its way straight through his brain.

“Your mum doesn’t count” said Trent as he lowered his gun. “You were always the last step I had to take in my plan. I needed the brain and heart of a soul infused with the trait of arrogance and that of a family member which you successfully just fetched for me to complete everything. I have finally finished all my preparation. Wait, why am I talking to myself?” and as he took the brain and heart from his victim and the other two that he had brought in the bag from the scientist to put in the container with the rest of his collection, he started to laugh. Soon, he would be feared all over the world. Soon everyone would bow done to him. Not cheesy at all.

  *

“So you just gave him a brain and a heart just like that” said the lab-assistant.

“Well he gave me like 15 pounds. No one needs to know” said the scientist.

“Seriously? You can't just go around handing out organs to mysterious people for money. This isn't a shop. Wait, that just sounded really wrong just know didn't it?”

“Yep. I really did. But anyway, this will just be our little secret. Here have 5 pounds from what he gave me. You’re my friend, it's a no brainer. Geddit?”

“That was terrible”

“Sorry” mumbled the scientist. “But he was a very weird person though. I tried to live up to his intimidating nature as best as I could but I knew he hardly took any notice of me. I was trying to be really dramatic like in a really low voice I said to him 'take the brain and the heart. Burn the rest' and he was like 'thank you' at the end in a really low voice. I bet it's like one of those movies where he brings the brain to his master or something and then the master kills him because he no longer needs him and then makes a really cheesy line and then scene fades to black. Imagine that. Eh Bret?”

“Uh yeah. Wait I just realised something. If you gave him a brain and a heart. That means that he know has the two main components that are needed to take over the world.”

“Really?”

“No you idiot I was just joking. But he is actually now liable for that Tesco offer where you can get a free train ticket if you trade in a brain. It was called 'a brain for a train' or something.”

*

As Trent put the final brain and heart into the machine, he smiled to himself. His plan was working perfectly and it would all be finished in a matter of minutes. His plan was to place all the brains and hearts that he had collected into his precarious contraption which would harness all the knowledge and life stored in them and concentrate them into one beam that would be directed at Trent’s body. He would soon have the intelligence and lifespan of a God.

“So what's the science behind this thing?”

“Oh. The science. I have no idea. I got the method to do it from some website online. I'm just doing what it says and hoping for the best. Wait, who are you anyway?” Asked Trent.

“Oh me. I'm nobody. You just left the front door open and I just thought I'd come in. I'm homeless you see, but anyway if you really wanted this to be a super-secret villain hideout the first step to go about would be to not put a big sign outside the door saying: 'this house is NOT a super-secret villain hideout”

“Oh right. Well ok then. I mean who do you think you are talking to, you puny peasant! I shall soon be a living God and you shall beg for mercy when I so much as settle my gaze upon you!”

“Is it normal for a nose to be that hairy” the man said as he stared at Trent’s abundance of hair in his nose.

“You shall not be joking when my plan is complete” warned Trent.

“Yeah you're right. I'll actually be laughing!” And with that, the homeless man skipped out the door.

Trent then walked over to the machine and turned it on with the flick of a switch. A blue ominous light emanated from the centre of it and Trent went to position the tip of it towards his body. He then took a slight step back and with a bright flash it was over.

‘Years and years of preparation and it has all come down to this. I feel refreshed somehow. It is like starting a new life. I shall be the one to rule them all!’ and with a clichéd evil-villain laughed he walked out of the door.

*

“The guy is too funny. You really need to meet him.” said the homeless man to his friend. “He was like ‘bow down to me you puny peasant’ and it was just so funny. He had a really hairy nose though. It was really weird.”

“How can a guy trying to harness the knowledge of different brains into his, be funny? He’s a huge threat to the world and someone needs to stop him. I’m gonna tell the police.” He then got up to walk off.

“No, I’ve been spying on this guy for weeks now. His intentions are all for good reasons trust me. I used to know him very well. But he clearly didn’t recognise me in my current state.” he said as he went to try and block his friend.

“How can a man who has been collecting brains and hearts for months have good intentions. His mind is clearly set for world domination. OK that sounds so corny but he’s probably planning to do something of the sort. I’m going” he pushed the homeless man back to the ground and walked off to the police station.

*

Trent was walking along the main street. He felt like a God. He looked to his right. Tesco. He had brought all those brains to trade in because they were useless now. They had been sucked dry. He always wanted to ride on a train. They looked like very interesting contraptions. He was also headed there for another reason. But just as he was about to walk in, he heard a faint sound. Like that of a siren. He turned around and there was a police car driving towards him on the road. As he was walking the car pulled up next to him and a policeman got out the car.

“Sir, you are under arrest for using inhuman methods to enhance your senses and IQ” shouted the policemen.

“I do not deny the charges but I do have my reasons.” replied Trent

“You’ll have enough time to do your explaining in front of the judge” said the policemen as he put handcuffs onto Trent and shoved him into the back of the car.

*

“Are you or are you not currently in the possession of many different stolen hearts and brains?” questioned the judge.

“Well, this is where you are wrong. All those hearts and brains were entitled to me in this wills of all those men and women.

“Well, how do you explain your last heart and brain that you acquired? I have just been told that we have records of the 32 hearts and brains that have been entitled to you but we have no record whatsoever of the 33rd ones. I hereby sentence you to 15 years in prison for the theft of someone’s flesh and blood. Further enquiries will be made as to who this last heart and brain belongs to.” The hammer banged on the wood and Trent was taken to his prison.

*

50 years. They went by very slowly. His machine allowed him to live longer than the usual life-expectancy so age hadn’t really had an effect on his appearance. He had 35 years added on to his sentence because he was found guilty of the murder of Bryce, his ex-assistant from the fingerprints that were found on his gun. When he was finally let out, he was immediately met by an old man whom he faintly recognised.

“Was it worth it all?” asked the man.

“What was?” replied Trent.

“Prison. Was it worth the intelligence and life that the machine gave you?”

“Who are you?” replied Trent ignoring the question.

“Me? How can you not recognise me Trent? I am the one you always strived to beat. You viewed me as your rival but I merely viewed you as a student. Think Trent. Remember. Last time we met was fifty years ago and before that I used to teach you. Think.” Insisted the old man.

“No. You can’t be. I used to know a rival who was rich and young. The man I see before me is old and homeless. How can it be that you’re the man I’m thinking of?” wondered Trent.

“Age has taken its toll on me as you can see but I am. I am Master Clippy. The leader of the super scrimping club: ‘Always getting the best deals even if it means using your wheels’. I always hated that slogan but we had to stick with it. Remember the good old days when we used to spend hours coupon clipping with the other members. But I saw that fierce glint in your eyes sometimes. I knew you strived to be better than everyone in the club. I knew you wanted to lead everyone. I knew that you wanted to save time. That’s why, I guess, that you wanted to improve your intelligence so that you could work out which deals and different products in shops are better value for money. You wanted to be able to do the sums quickly rather than having to cut out vouchers all the time. Then you wanted to live longer so that you would make a profit from it all after a while. A profit that would cumulate over time. You would become the leader of the club and you wanted to show everyone that you were better than me at scrimping.” Trent bowed his head in shame. “But was 50 years in prison worth it? You probably have around 40 years still left to live, but I don’t think that will be long enough to make a big enough sum of savings for you to have said that it was ‘worth it’. You wasted your life Trent and you will never ever be able to get it back. I’m sorry.”

Just then, they heard a shout and turned around to see an old man running towards them. It was the man who reported Trent to the police in the first place.

“Whoops. Hi, my name’s Trenk and I’m really sorry for wasting 50 years of your life. I thought you wanted to take over the world, not take over an unknown coupon clipping club. Well, I made you a cake to say sorry-” his last words were cut off as Trent swung his fist into the man’s jawline. He slumped to the floor and the cake burst out from the box that he had been holding in his arms.

“Well, 50 years was worth waiting for that one punch. That felt good.” And with that he looked down upon the words written on the cake in icing: ‘Deciding whether to eat this cake is a no brainer’

“That’s probably the worst pun I’ve ever heard in my lifetime.” And with that, Master Clippy breathed his last breath and died peacefully with a smile on his face.

“I knew his heart would skip a beat, or ten, when he read that.” Said the obviously-not-unconscious man from the floor.

“Please, stop making terrible puns. They’re getting tomb much for me. Speaking of tombs we should really lay Master Clippy to rest properly. The situation is really too grave to leave him lying there” said Trent

“And you said my puns were terrible” said the man from the floor just as he received a foot in the face from Trent which really knocked him out cold. Trent then walked over and picked up Clippy’s body to bring him somewhere where he could rest in peace without any headaches to rattle his brain. As he walked off into the sunset, Trent couldn’t help but think what a wonderful world this was and how hearty he felt. Then he thought that he should really stop with the puns because they were getting terrible now.


Submitted: June 15, 2013

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