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The War of the Terns

Summary

A film that never got made. That might have been for the best.

Content

Submitted: August 19, 2012

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Content

Submitted: August 19, 2012

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          OPENING SEQUENCE.                                                
                                                                           
          Shots of the sky, and beaches.                                   
                                                                           
                              NARRATOR                                     
                         (V.O)                                             
                    "No one would have believed, in the                    
                    last years of the twentieth                            
                    century, that this world was being                     
                    watched, closely and keenly, by                        
                    intelligences greater than man’s."                     
                                                                           
          SHOT OF METEOR HITTING BEACH.                                    
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          EXT. BEACH.                                                      
                                                                           
          There’s a tiny capsule in a small crater.  A small crowd         
          gathers around it.                                               
                                                                           
                              MAN 1                                        
                    What is it?                                            
                                                                           
                              MAN 2                                        
                    Looks like a meteorite.                                
                                                                           
                              MAN 3                                        
                    Is it safe to touch, I wonder.                         
                                                                           
          He touches it.                                                   
                                                                           
                              MAN 3                                        
                    Stone cold!                                            
                                                                           
          Clunk.  Clunk.                                                   
                                                                           
          The men step back.                                               
                                                                           
                              MAN 1                                        
                    There’s... something inside!                           
                                                                           
          VWOOSH!                                                          
                                                                           
          A series of terns are let out.  Screaming.  Squawking.  The      
          men scream and run.                                              
                                                                           
          Terns attack!                                                    
                                                                           
          Thee men lay dead on the ground.                                 
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                    
          INT. NEWSROOM                                                    
                                                                           
                              NEWSREADER                                   
                    It is confirmed, the visitors are                      
                    hostile.  Casualties are stacking                      
                    up, with over 100 confirmed deaths-                    
                                                                           
          INTERCUT WITH SCENES OF PEOPLE DYING.                            
                                                                           
                              NEWSREADER                                   
                    The British army has begun                             
                    operations-                                            
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          EXT.  BEACH.                                                     
                                                                           
          Men are fighting.                                                
                                                                           
          Terns squawk.  One gets shot down.                               
                                                                           
          The mean are clearly losing.                                     
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. NEWSROOM.                                                   
                                                                           
                              NEWSREADER                                   
                    The Prime Minister has given a                         
                    defiant speech.                                        
                                                                           
                              CHURCHILL                                    
                         (V.O)                                             
                         (intercut with clips of people                    
                         dying)                                            
                    We shall go on to the end.  We                         
                    shall fight them on the                                
                    beaches.  We shall never                               
                    surrender!  We shall fight in the                      
                    fields and in the streets-                             
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          EXT. LONDON.                                                     
                                                                           
          Terns fly over London.  An air-raid siren blares, and            
          searchlights look up.                                            
                                                                           
          Bombs drop to the ground,                                        
                                                                           
          Explosions everywhere.                                                                 
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. "THE RESIDENCY OF ERIC BLAIR."                              
                                                                           
          The camera shakes.  Zooms in on ERIC BLAIR, who regularly        
          experiences a fit of coughing.  On the wall is a picture of      
          an elephant.  He is writing.                                     
                                                                           
                              ERIC BLAIR                                   
                    As I write, highly civilised beings                    
                    are flying overhead, trying to kill                    
                    me.                                                    
                                                                           
          A fit of coughing.  Camera shakes again.                         
                                                                           
                              ERIC BLAIR                                   
                    Almost certainly we are moving into                    
                    an age of totalitarian                                 
                    dictatorship.                                          
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. HOUSE.                                                      
                                                                           
          Everyone is enslaved, wearing rags.                              
                                                                           
          On the wall, a poster reads: "Bonnie Tern Loves You."            
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. NEWSROOM.                                                   
                                                                           
                              NEWSREADER                                   
                    The United Kingdom has                                 
                    unconditionally surrendered.  NATO                     
                    has withdrawn.  The UN Security                        
                    Council is meeting to discuss a                        
                    potential Partition of the                             
                    Earth.  God help the human race.                       
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. "TRIDENT NUCLEAR SUBMARINE"                                 
                                                                           
          Two men sit solemnly.  Man 1 switches off a radio.  On a         
          table between them is an unopened letter.                        
                                          
                              MAN 1                                        
                    Are you going to open it, or shall                     
                    I?                                                     
                                                                           
                              MAN 2                                        
                    Read it to me.                                         
                                                                           
          Man 1 leans over and opens it.                                   
                                                                           
                              MAN 1                                        
                    "If you are reading this, then I                       
                    and my colleagues are most likely                      
                    dead.  The British people will                         
                    either have been wiped out or                          
                    enslaved by a superior enemy.  If                      
                    the suffering of the people is so                      
                    great, then I command you, as Prime                    
                    Minister, to END IT.                                   
                                                                           
          Silence.                                                         
                                                                           
                              MAN 2                                        
                    Well then.                                             
                                                                           
                              MAN 1                                        
                    Let’s do it.                                           
                                                                           
          They hammer keys.                                                
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          EXT. SURFACE.                                                    
                                                                           
          Missiles fly out.                                                
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          EXT. AERIAL SHOT OF EARTH.                                       
                                                                           
          Britain is wiped off the map.                                    
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                                                           
                                                                           
          INT. WASTELAND.                                                  
                                                                           
          Dead terns pile up everywhere.                                   
                                                                           
                                                               CUT TO:     
                                             
          END CREDITS.       

 

 


© Copyright 2016 Mathew Nicolson. All rights reserved.

The War of the Terns

Script by: Mathew Nicolson

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Script by: Mathew Nicolson

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Summary

A film that never got made. That might have been for the best.

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