The Scotch Drinker

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
a short story called The Scotch Drinker

Submitted: February 25, 2011

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Submitted: February 25, 2011

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\"I am the world's greatest scotch taster. I understand you have the largest collection of single malt scotches in New York City here at this bar, and I bet you I can identify the brand and age of any of your Scotch Whisky on a blind tasting. If I'm right, you will give me my drinks for free plus $100 - if I'm wrong I'll pay for the drinks plus give you $500.\"

The bartender can't resist, and he proceeds to set up four shots of unidentified scotches on the bar. Man sits down, gargles with a little Perrier and proceeds to move through the shots:

After the first shot, he announces, \"Too easy - Glenlivit, 12 years old.\"

\"OK\", says the bartender, \"I figured I'd check you out with a softie.\"

After the second shot, the man pauses and announces, \"Nice try, but I got it - a Macallan , 18 years old.\"

\"OK\", says the bartender, \"You're OK, but now you are heading into the tough ones.\"

Then, in quick succession, the man downs the next two shots, and, without pausing announces, \"Glen Morangie, 25 years old, and Craggamore, 35 years old Oak Cask made in a single vat!!!\"

The bartender is dumbfounded. \"There is only one bottle of the last one in the whole United States.\" The man is smiling smugly as the bartender starts to peel off the five $100 bills when a drunken bum who has been watching from a dark corner stumbles over and slams a shot down on the bar in front of the expert. \"Try an' identify that baby\", slurs the sot. \"Of course, my good man\", replies the expert, whereupon he throws back the shot with a flourish.

Suddenly, the experts face contorts and he spits the drink out onto the floor. \"My God! That's simply awful - it tastes like p***....!\" \"Yeah,\" says the drunk, \"BUT HOW OLD AM I???\"


© Copyright 2020 Matthew Clack. All rights reserved.

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