Underhanded tactics

Short Story by: Mavi98

Reads: 389 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 1

How abruptly people can be to one another. Even when they could have everything in the world enough just isn't enough anymore. The deleted messages and texts then phone calls it all begins their. And virtually in their mind they believe they'll never get caught. How ironic it is to discover the truth when all you've been was loyal.

Your underhanded tactics did not go unnoticed. Your schedule is down to the minute and every objective is completed with precision implying no surprises; very sly. You are committed to this just as your beloved partner is. Co existing under one roof, going to sleep in the arms of one but thinking of another; the nerve. Your time devotion and love is being spent in a different direction; how could you. You go on longer work days, more dates and even dress a little nicer. I guess it's worth corrupting a lovely home; are you happy now. It's quite obvious your heart has been gone for quite some time, it's a shame she didn't find out sooner. Never did she believe you could be this conniving; you tore her apart. It's funny to believe you as carful as fox covering the tracks that no one would ever find out. You had your whole world revolving around a lie. But love looks not with eyes; and she saw you for the first time.

Submitted: August 17, 2015

Poetry lying cheating

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phantomhill

I love what you're saying, and that you're making a reader think while you're at it. What you seem to be trying to get across is powerful; how could they cheat? How could they pretend to love each other when they're thinking of someone else? That's a powerful and painful topic. However, to make it even more potent, try separating some of your semicolon sentences. So instead of '... a lovely home; are you happy now?' try, '...a lovely home. Are you happy now?' You could also consider making those short snippets their own paragraph, which would really hammer those points. Good job, and I look forward to checking in on you in the future!

Tue, August 18th, 2015 2:34pm