Fields of Heaven

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A final goodbye between two lovers for a reason that they cannot change.

I stepped on to the platform, and the cold air shivered down my back as I took another step to board the incoming train, only to be stopped by a firm hand that grabbed mine. The hand was warm and the touch was so familiar to me.

I felt his presence behind me, the warm body that was pressed against my back, and I held my breath. I was scared that if I turn around, I would give in.

‘Don’t go.’ The voice whispered and let go slowly as if I had already given my answer. I turned around and faced him; I was faced with the eyes that of great despair that even breathing is difficult.

I wanted to tell him; tell him why, but I knew that it would break his heart even more than what I doing, so I chose to let him go, even if it broke my heart.

‘I don’t love you anymore.’ The very words that came out my mouth, even to me, felt like a lie. I could now hear the bustling noise of the crowd walking up the stairs to start their days.

His long and slim fingertips lifted my chin up to face his face, ‘Look me in the eyes and say it, I don’t believe that you don’t love me.’

I looked into his determined eyes, and for a moment, I wished that time stopped, that everything that happened in the past year was just a dream, not a nightmare. But I knew that life wasn’t a perfect world

It had to be done.

‘I don’t think it was ever love; it was only the time I spent by your side.’ I forced myself to say, my eyes became blurred by the salty tears that slowly crept down my face, I looked back up and braced myself for the time that he would let me go and turn his back on me.

But that never happened. There were no words, no anger, no sadness, no pain, just disappointment, like a rock crumbling into pieces.

‘Then can I at least say goodbye?’ he asked me, his sapphire eyes still trying to believe that it was all a lie.

I wanted to leave, turn away and run to the train before my heart gave way, but I knew I wasn’t that strong as I whispered yes. I owed him at least this. I knew that he knew what this was about, and that no matter what he did, he could not help me.

His warm arms wrapped around my body like he had done a million times, and I had experienced this many times before, but his steady heartbeat would still calm me down, even today.

‘Don’t go.’ he said, pushing me closer to his chest and hold me tight, as though I was a teddy bear that a child cherished dearly, ‘I don’t want to lose anyone else.’

At that moment I thought about running away; to a place where no one knew who we were, a place where happily ever after did exist.

But I knew that there was no such place.

I pulled away and we both knew it was time to say goodbye and move on, but as I walked to towards the train, he stopped me again and pulled out an envelope, ‘Open this when the train doors close, that is my first and last request to you.’

I stood on to the train and turn around to see him one last time and for the first time, I finally said it.

‘I love you.’

But the doors had already closed; I slowly opened the envelope and read the contents of the letter that dwelled inside.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t good enough for you in this lifetime, but thank you for loving me, even if it was all a lie.

Though I can’t be with you in this lifetime, but let me love you again in our next lives

X

The tear ran down my face and eyes as I sank to the floor, whispering a thousand apologies for breaking his pure heart.

‘Yes, I promise, I will return to your arms in our next lives, so in the future, please wait for me.’ I cried, as I noticed that everything had begun to slip away from my hands, and by the time I had noticed, I was alone.

***

He watched the doors close and for a moment, he couldn’t believe it, he wanted to wake up and go to school to see her cheery face, her hair flowing with the wind and the eyes that told a million stories.

But reality slowly crept in.

‘Are you alright sir, the train has left already.’ The officer asked, patting him on the shoulder.

‘How can I possibly be alright?’ He replied, rustling his hand with his hair, sinking to the floor.

He looked up at the light blue sky and that was when he finally realised:

Ah… So this is how it feels like to be alone.


Submitted: July 13, 2013

© Copyright 2022 MaybeItWasNeverLove. All rights reserved.

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Comments

RaeBlair

From the beginning, you had me saying "WHY?!". I'm not quite sure if I've interpreted this story correctly, though. In my interpretation, his lover has died on this train, or because of this train. Suicide or an accident, this is his imaginary scene of closure as he mourns his lost love. She is a figment of his imagination, and to better provide closure for himself, he conjures up her leaving him and claiming that their love was "a lie" and meant nothing. However, when he breaks his vision, he realizes that she is truly gone and despite how much he would love to race back to his school, and see her there as per usual, he is alone. Even if I got the wrong idea, this was a verybeautiful and touching story, well written and intriguing. Great job! :) ~ Rae

Sun, July 14th, 2013 2:05pm

Author
Reply

Your interpretation is amazing. I had thought about the way you thought of it andI guess it could be seen that way. I viewed it more like the female character had to leave because she knew that her love for him was hurting him inside. The male character wanted her to stay, but was she really worth the pain? I guess in the end, they separated.. they didnt know what they had until it was gone.
thank you for reading!!! youre insight was really helpful, i never thought
about my piece like that!!

Sun, July 14th, 2013 7:13am

Evelina Duile

I also felt that one or the other was dead (maybe both?) which made it even sadder. Very well written, the emotional turmoil (especially from the girl)was really evident. Great job!

Mon, July 15th, 2013 8:10am

Author
Reply

Maybe they were both dead, and were living on a memory.
....
who knows?

Thanks for the comment, made my day :D
Please look forward for more of my work, thanks for your support!~

Mon, July 15th, 2013 1:21am

Xivtorc

Haha yes, I considered the title "Fields of Heaven"
meant that they will meet there when they finally pass on. I thought the woman was considering jumping off the platform and committing suicide and was surprised when she boarded the train. I love the perspectives of the woman trying to leave her lover. How in the beginning her state was dense and impossible to break then, later on when the man is talking to her she is becoming to break apart revealing a passionate person underneath. ..Unfortunately it was too late.. Good read and awesome writing! :)

Tue, July 30th, 2013 6:08pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, haha.
I was surprised when I wrote this in year 8/9 haha
Thanks for the commemt

Tue, July 30th, 2013 2:24pm

MD22

This was a really great story. I love how it can be read with so many different perspectives! You have a really strong voice and I always love reading your work. Keep up the great job!

Mon, August 5th, 2013 3:29pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading my work!

Tue, August 6th, 2013 6:52pm

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