A BIRD WITHOUT ONE WING, short story by McChlery

Reads: 300 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 0 | Comments: 3

Short Story by: McChlery

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Status: Finished | Genre: Other | House: Booksie Classic

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This is my first time on a site like this and I am feeling very nervous so I will just write a bit of my childre's story and see if you find it interesting

Submitted: February 22, 2007

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 22, 2007

A A A

THERE WAS A BIRD CALLED TIM

WHO HAD NEARLY EVERYTHING

HE HAD TWO EYES, A BEAK, A NOSE

BUT ONLY HAD ONE WING

SO TIM HE COULD NOT FLY

NOT FAR, NOTNEAR, NOT HIGH

HE SKIPPED, HE HOPPED, HE TIPPLETITOPPED

AND SOFTLY THIS SONG WOULD SIGH:

"OH MY OH MY OH MY

HOW I WISH THAT I COULD FLY

I'D FLY TO THE SOUTH AND WAY TO THE NORTH

I'D FLY TO THE WEST, THE MOST EASTERLY SPOT

I'D FLY UP TALL TREES, LEAP INTO THE AIR

OF CATS AND OF DOGS I'D NEVER BE SCARE"

WELL UNDER A LEAF JUST BY TIM

WHIMPERED THIS STRANGE LOOKING THING...........

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Comments

Eraser

Comment | 66 words

Thu, February 22nd, 2007 9:24am

welcome. you have nothing to fear here. i liked your story/poem. the story of the bird that cannot fly. i can see this being read to children. i would check the spelling and flow of parts of it. for instance:

I'D FLY UP TALL TREES, LEAP INTO THE AIR

OF CATS AND OF DOGS I'D NEVER BE SCARE"

shouldn't it be "scared"?

thanks for posting.

Author
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Comment | 31 words

Thu, February 22nd, 2007 9:45am

sorry, no excuse for not checking my work prior to publishing. I should publish the whole story, must just get over nerves. Your comment however, is so nice and reassuring. thanks

zephyrmail

Comment | 55 words

Fri, March 2nd, 2007 3:31pm

this could be the beginning of a really cute children's story..no need to be nervous..first time I posted in Booksie I was so nervous I thought I would be ill--but everyone has been so helpful, I've enjoyed it and feel I have many new friends...let's see some more of your work, plz...

Author
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Comment | 53 words

Fri, March 2nd, 2007 3:33pm

Hey, thanks for your comment you caught me by surprise I didn't think anyone else was reading it. The story is complete but I did not want to publish it all in case it was totally silly. Thanks to your comment I will publish it all and hope you read it. Thanks again

John Wanjora

Comment | 53 words

Mon, July 16th, 2007 2:18am

This is nice poetry. Even as adults there are times we wish we could have an extra wing to take flight. Ironically there is sometimes a danger lurking. Nice poetry, once again I must say. It's been long though since I last read from you. Did you stop writing? We need you much.

Author
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Comment | 83 words

Mon, July 16th, 2007 2:10pm

Yes you are right john, danger is sometimes lurking. I wrote this piece many many years ago, I was afraid to write it all on booksie but I will republish it complete now for your to read. I haven't been writting as much as I am very busy at work, this is awfull as I have two stories desperate to develop but cannot find that moment to sit undisturbed. Now summer is here I will. Enjoy 'Bird with one wing', the completed version!