The Assassin Codex

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Historical Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is the Assassin Codex. The rules and ways of assassins are collected here. First we’ll give a definition of an assassin and then we’ll move onto the positives and negatives, then the does and don’ts, safe houses, cities and prostitutes, conduct and finally the directory of ways to kill. This Codex was written and declared the official way of Assassins by ******* *********.

Submitted: April 16, 2011

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 16, 2011

A A A

A A A


The Assassin Codex

This is the Assassin Codex. The rules and ways of assassins arecollected here. First we’ll give a definition of an assassin and then we’ll move onto the positives and negatives, then the does and don’ts, safe houses, cities and prostitutes, conduct and finally the directory of ways to kill. This Codex was written and declared the official way of Assassins by ******* *********.

Definition: An assassin is one who murders by surprise attack, especially one who carries out a plot to kill a prominent person.

 Synonyms for Assassin are: murderer, killer, slayer, liquidator, executioner, hit man (slang), eliminator (slang) and hatchet man (slang).

 

The Positives of being an Assassin include things such as free help from Prostitutes (and not just on jobs). People everywhere will know your name and face from the wanted posters they put around advertising how much people’ll get paid if they kill you. You obtain knowledge of weapons beyond the norm, of course if outnumbered not even the most unheard of weapon will save you unless it’s a grenade and even you’ll probably end up in the blast radius…anyway weapons. You get paid, most of the time and that is considering that most people could hand you over and get more money than they pay you, but it still counts.

The Negatives of being an assassin include being wanted in every city with a functioning government, having people constantly trying to kill you ignorant of the fact that you’re tryingto kill someone else. People everywhere are scared of you, so getting a girl is not an option as her dad will either kill you or hand you over upon meeting you (that is if the girl hasn’t run away screaming the first time you visit covered in blood). If you don’t have the skill or knowledge to fix your own weapons and no loyal friends who can, you are screwed. The Government will generally hate you, so that’s usually a bad thing but if you’re going to kill them anyway its probably better off that way. You may have to kill some friends along the way, but rest assured it’s not your fault, its not like you chose to become an assassin…oh wait, you most likely did. Also dining out is no longer an option so you better be able to cook.

As an assassin it is okay to:

*Sleep with the prostitutes you hire to distract officials

*Sleep with the daughters of the men you kill

*Raid the dead bodies of the men you kill

*Surprise from behind

*Run away from guards because you think running across rooftops is more fun than fighting them

*Attack random citizens if you see a reason to

*Blend with a crowd of monks to hide from officials

*Kill you best friend because they’re working with the government

*Die in a fight with a top rung government official

*To show your victims some respect by praying for them before raiding their bodies

*Show yourself to your enemy and tell them your plan before killing them

 

As an assassin it is not okay to:

*Kill the prostitutes you hire to distract officials

*Sleep with your family members or your allies’ family members

*Sleep with the dead bodies of the men you kill

*Surprise from the front (This is meant to be dirty advice)

*Run away from guards because you’re scared of them and their less than efficient weapons

*Attack random citizens because you can

*Become a monk just so you can walk the streets and feel like you belong there

*Kill your best friend because you can and want to test out your new weapons

*Die in a fight with a guard

*To bury the bodies of the men you kill before raiding them

*To show yourself to your enemy and tell them your plan and let them get away

 

Safe Houses, Cities and prostitutes

In all cities that you have connections, there will be safe houses set up for you to use. They will generally be tiny, cramped and filthy places but they will function for at least a week before falling apart, so move on before then.

Some cities will be cool with you being there, it’ll be like you’re a celebrity, or they’ll hate you and it’ll be like you’re the plague itself only they can kill you.

As for prostitutes there really are no rules other than don’t kill the ones you hire and if you do manage to kill a prostitute or have a fetish for that kind of thing, don’t keep the body and don’t dump it somewhere obvious…its not healthy.

 

Conduct

By ways of behaviour for an assassin, you need to be quiet, unnoticeable (and yet incredibly handsome and wealthy), scary, creepy, wear clothes that obviously single you out from everyone else in the entire city and always run on rooftops because if the officials haven’t realised the only one who does is you, then it isn’t a issue of dying there unless you’re stupid…or you suck.

 

Directory of Ways to Kill

*Slice open throat from behind

*Slice open throat from in front

*Stab in stomach

*Stab in chest

*Stab through back

*Stab eye (and pray the medicine of the time is shit enough to not fix it)

*Scalp them

*Disembowel them anyway you see fit

*Decapitate them

*Javelin them through the chest

*Bash their head with a rock (A bit prehistoric if you ask me)

*Shoot them

*Stab them through the mouth and out the back of their head

*Drop them off a building

*Push them off a building

*Poison them (so uneventful)

*Drown them

*Suffocate them

*Strangle them

*Glare at them

*Cut off their legs (won’t necessarily kill them but they won’t cross you again for fear they loose more important appendages)

*Snap their necks

*Beat them to death (what are you a teenage boy?)

*Kiss the (they’ll die inside)

*Hot poker them in not very nice places

*Castrate them (they’ll wish they were dead)

*Talk at them for six hours straight while they’re tied to chair unable to move (kick them every time they look like they’re falling asleep)

*Make them dance the devil’s jig just like they plan to do to you!

 

This Codex is to passed down my line of descendants so they each may learn how to be an assassin and one day maybe one of you will have enough sense to take this outside the family and make a guild because if you have only one son, this four hour compilation of mine is going end up in library somewhere, where its dusty and unclean and I’ll have wasted four hours of my life for you when I could have been off with the prostitutes.

The Original Assassin

******* *********

 

 


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