Reunion Special

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
There's a reason people move away from their hometowns....

Submitted: June 20, 2010

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Submitted: June 20, 2010



Randy Conn was planning to head to his tenth high school reunion. Randy let out a sigh. He was very nervous about attending the get-together hosted by his former educational institute. Randy had become an agricultural consultant for a local newspaper since his departure from high school. He has recently written a news article over the sudden appearance of beige chickens on local farms. The chickens laid cube eggs but the residents were not particularly amazed by this random phenomenon. Randy had moved to a farm outside of the city limits. The residents of Willow Creek were obsessed the crops-to-seeds ratio of Mr. Jones’s farm. Randy pulled into the parking lot of the hotel that was hosting the reunion. Randy met his old friend Billy Lenovolo. Billy had lost both of his legs in a gruesome bear attack over seas. Certain the Billy would not be able to escape, Randy cornered him and forced conversation. Randy wanted relive his glory days, as he was now a failed reporter.
“Do you remember, in senior year, that jumpsuits, granny boots, stirrup pants, and acid-washed jeans were popular?” asked Randy urgently. Billy nodded slowly and looked for an escape from the madman.
“You can’t trust those foreign bears” said Randy, not allowing Billy a chance to speak. Billy blew on his whistle, and Randy was dragged away, kicking and screaming. The security men locked Randy in the janitor’s closet.
“This is just like the Berlin Wall! It will fall too!” yelled Randy in a muffled voice. He banged on the door like a caged animal. Billy and the rest of the former students exchanged worried glances.
Gary Paulford, the former football quarterback, attempted to make small talk.
“Did anyone see Ghostbusters II that came out in the summer of ’89? I hear they are making a third one…”
“As long as they don’t try to bring back those shoulder pads that were popular during our tenure.” Said Sally Bilfrest earnestly, “They look so tacky, I do not know what we were thinking”
“I’ll kill you all because I never owned a ‘members only jacket’! They were very popular in the 80’s!” Yelled Randy from the cupboard.
“So Gary” said Sally, “You have put on a bit of weight”.
“Yes, I had children, and my parachute pants were a danger to them, so I had to discard them”
“I want to go home and watch ‘Magnum PI’, which has recently become popular, I also enjoy various other shows including, ‘The A-Team’, “MacGyver’, ‘Knight Rider’, and ‘Roseanne’, which became popular in the mid to late 80’s, and I’m sure some will last into the mid ‘90s” said Billy enthusiastically. The room was filled with terrified people in bright neon colored clothing.
“Did you hear that a McDonald’s opened up in Moscow a few years ago? Sarah Ferguson became the Duchess of York two years before” said Sally, attempting to relieve the tension.
Randy burst down the door and wielded a sharpened broom handle, wielding it like a spear. Everyone screamed and ran out of the hotel. Billy rolled toward the elevator.
“Run if you want!” Yelled Randy maniacally, “I was in the Explorers’ Club! I’m always gonna find you!”
Billy emerged from the elevator on the sixth floor of the hotel. The pale lights began to flicker. The wheels of Billy’s chair became unbelievably tight, and he tried in vain to propel himself forward. Billy heard the distinct Bing! Of the elevator, and heard the doors scrape open.
“Well hello there Billy!” came Randy’s deranged voice. The wheels loosened considerable and Billy propelled himself forward frantically. Billy came to a door next to a flight of stairs He jiggled the door handled and banged on the door. Randy walked slowly, humming Ring-Around-The-Rosie.
“Please help me!” screamed Billy in horror. Randy reached the crippling man, and flung him, wheelchair and all, down an entire flight of stairs. Billy landed with a crash. Randy descended the stairs.
“In 1987, a Yugoslavian boy was officially declared the world’s 5 billionth inhabitant!” screamed Randy, blindly stabbing with his makeshift spear. Suddenly, the spear lodged itself into the wheel of Billy’s chair.
“In 1983, the hit series M*A*S*H ended” screamed Billy, spinning the wheel with all his might. The sudden shift in weight sent Randy flying through the air, through a small glass window, and plummeting to the ground, six stories below. Billy used his arms to drag himself to the windowsill land hoisted himself up. Randy’s body was hideously mangled, and bent in impossible angles. Suddenly, Randy got to his feet, and snapped his neck back into alignment.
“No!” screamed Billy, with tears streaming down his face. Suddenly, a green 1991 Acura Integra slammed into Randy, sending him flying off the bridge and into the icy waters below. His body was never found.

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