the indecisive debate

what do i want?
i lay there and try to conclude which one i should outweigh.
my heart or mind.
my heart craves for his love but my mind refuses to give in.
"keep your guard up.
your heart doesnt know what it wants."
is all my mind screams.
my heart beats faster.
the debate begins.
my body goes blank as i try to determine which side to take.
"hes been there waiting for you.he loves you."
my heart crys out
"your heart is foolish.im surprised theres anything left."
my mind complains.
my heart wants to beat faster but maintains at a steady beat
"im healing slowly.maybe all i need is him to be complete."
my heart proclaims
im still not sure.
i start to get impatient.
why cant i choose?
if i love him again will it be pure and true?
i squirm under my sheets in anguish.
"maybe i just need more time"
but procrasinating isnt making the problem go away.
my mind fades out with the thought of him still lingering inside.