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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

This was based on one of my memories about this really charismatic singer that I was friends with in university. I would say that I was quite taken by him at the time.

Submitted: November 23, 2017

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Submitted: November 23, 2017



She heard a loud knock on the door that didn’t belong to her. She sat still for a few minutes not knowing whether she had actually heard the knock or if it was just her imagination. Before she had the chance to decide what to do the door slowly began to open and the familiar face of one of the boys that lived there peaked through the opening that he had created.  She smiled at him, as if telling him to enter into the room.  He entered slowly but chose to stand near the door not knowing fully whether he wanted to stay or leave.  Both of them being as yet so unfamiliar with the other that they were not sure as to whether they would be able to have a conversation or if it would end with him leaving awkwardly.  

She slowly opened her mouth as the words began to flow out. She was both shocked and happy that she was able to start this conversation. He equally exchanged words with her as if the original tension slowly started to dissipate.  She was unable to control her excitement.  The conversation flowed naturally but he still remained glue to the wall closest to the door. It made her feel uncomfortable as if he didn’t want to be there. Eventually his legs began to buckle as he made movements to slide down to the floor.

This distressed her a little and she suggested he sit on the bed next to her. He accepted the invitation and they continued their minimalistic conversation about something but nothing in particular.

He was the type of boy that every teenage girl would fall instantly in love with to only have her heart broken because he was fully conscience of his own sex appeal. He was the right amount of charismatic and bad boy that even the strongest willed girl’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. He always made you feel like you were the only girl in the entire world, despite knowing that it was all a part of his farce.  She would always try to remember that despite everything her and him would never be anything more than those conversations in the dimly light rooms where she would yearn for him but he would simply drift off into the world around them.

Her low self esteem never for a minute allowed her to think anywhere beyond her imagination with him.  She knew that he was out of her league but she still couldn’t help but be consumed by his gaze, it felt like you were the only person in that moment that he cared about. She used to hate that gaze so much because it always made her feel uncomfortable, it s most probably the reason she always limited her interactions with him.

She could imagine what it would be like to get lost in him but something about him put her off. His eyes always seemed glazed over as if he was there but his mind was constantly elsewhere. She understood all too well what it was like to be here but at the same time wanting to be anywhere else. 

She knew if she allowed herself to feel it all, that he would be the end of her. She feared  she would become trapped in those blue eyes of his never wanting to leave but that it would just destroy what little of her soul she still clutched desperately onto.  She craved the caress of his fingers, his breathe against her, the feeling of his lips, the sound of his voice calling her name but she didn’t want his mind and soul.

So she just sat there enjoying the conversation and the moments of elation that she felt every time their eyes would meet. She wanted him but accepted that she didn’t need him. 

© Copyright 2019 Mella Turner. All rights reserved.

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