Is your body weight like a kangaroo – always jumping up and down? Mine is. Every summer I seem to have no problem getting into shape. I feel strong, sexy and toned. And I look it too. But every winter, I get lazy. I exercise a lot less and I eat a lot more junk food. I end up feeling tired and lethargic and not very enthusiastic at work.
Getting into shape is only hard if you don’t have the motivation. Right now, I’m not at my goal weight. 52kg is my goal weight. 54kg is acceptable for me. But what I actually weigh right now is: 57.8kg (last time I checked, which was just the other day).
I eat too much junk food everyday and I haven’t been exercising much at all lately. And summer is almost here. So I should really do something about it. But then, once I’ve gotten into shape for the, say, fourth time in my life, will I put it all back on and go back to being fat and out-of-shape again? Why can’t I stay motivated? Do I really lack the persistence, to stay motivated? It seems that I do.
Many times now, I’ve thought to myself: I’m fat, I know. I’ll do something about it soon. And then I go back to watching DVDs. My current addiction is Veronica Mars – it’s an awesome show. What usually motivates me is the holiday season, because it’s that time of year when the whole family gets together – even family from afar. So, I usually haven’t seen them for a while and I don’t want them to see me fat. Plus, a LOT of photos will be taken and I don’t want to look at fat holiday pictures of myself.
The thing that boosts my motivation is the fact that it’s hotter around Christmas time (here in Australia anyway) and so I will no longer be able to cover my body from neck to toe with layers of clothing. It just gets too hot to wear stuff like that. I need – and also want – to wear shorts and dresses. I want to feel confident when I wear such things, and the best way for me to attain such confidence is to get my body in, well, the best shape I can.
I love my body when it’s in good shape. I treat my body so much better when it’s in good shape. And you know what I now realise? I need to change my motivation. I need a new reason/reasons to get in shape. A more permanent one. Christmas comes only once a year, as they say, and as we all know. So, I now see the pattern – where the kangaroo comes from. Once a year, I get into shape for Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and most of the summer. After that, I slow down. I exercise less and I eat more. And, ultimately, I get back to my same old habit.
Every year, my weight drops at the end of the year and rises again about a quarter of the way through the new year. A repetitive pattern of kangaroo-bouncing that must be stopped. So, I now know that I need to find a new form of motivation. A long-term one is what I need to look for. So, what will it be?
As I’m writing this right now, I’m eating m and m’s. And you know what? I realise something. I realise that I have to ask myself one simple question: Is that bag of m and ms really tougher than me? I mean, I feel like eating barramundi, but the the force of the m and ms just pulled me right in. And they were just sitting there, in my my junk box.
© Copyright 2016 Melody Rose. All rights reserved.
Poem / Poetry
Poem / Poetry
Poem / Poetry
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