She is Happy.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
I have severe social anxiety and OCD, Dermatillomania to be specific. I dont have many friends and the very few I do have can't relate to me at all, emotionally speaking towards the anxiety and all the greif I've been through. So this was just a little thing I wrote to vent.

Submitted: June 06, 2013

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Submitted: June 06, 2013

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There is a girl who was scared of the world. She didn't have friends and her family didnt care about her. She tried and tried to find someone to help ease the pain. Lost in a world of fear, she couldn't escape. Anger made up the bars of her prison cell, sadness made up the bricks, fear tainted the air, and depression broke her down. Theres scars that will never leave her and memories that will always linger. But a friend is all she needs, a person that can keep her happy. The jokes, smiles, laughs, and the fun is like a drug, it numbs the pain. Nothing lasts for ever though, soon she will crumble. Its funny how everybody gives up on her when she needs them most. Let down. GIVE UP! LONER! FREAK! UGLY! BITCH! Alone...There is no one, no one willing to help her. She is on the verge of giving up. Why doesn't she just go ask to talk to someone? A question to often repeated. I'll tell you why. Anxiety. It mutes her, silences her from the world. To terrified to mess up, say the wrong thing, or ruin a good moment. She is alone. Helpless. Depressed. She can't be saved.\"Load her with medication!\"\" Fill her with pills!\"\" Numb her...\" There won't be anymore pain, a happy girl to the world, only on the outside. She isn't happy! Its an act! She is going to break...Almost there...few more days...few more insults...few more memories...stop the pills...second thoughts...\"Im not worth it. Im nothing\" She gave up and let go. \"NO! Baby no no no! Why!?\" Sobbing is the only noise in the house. \"What happened?!\" A rush into the room.\" Shes gone...\" The prison cell opened up. After so long she was finally happy. There, happiness, all she ever wanted. Not a single regret. She is okay now. \" Why did I say those horrible things to her?\"\" Why didn't I help her?\"\"Why didn't I try harder?\"\" What was I supposed to do?\"\" How did I not see this happening?\"\" Why didn't the medication work?\" The friends, parents, bullies, strangers, and doctors couldn't help her. Crying, Sorrow, and Guilt filled the room of the memorial. But amongst all these people and feelings, she was there. She brought peace to the room, forgiveness, and understanding. Mostly she brought happiness and acceptance. \"Its all okay now.\"


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