The twilight rain, this winter haze, the tangled heart's soliloquoy
Forgive me there, i'm not forgot, to the precious hours of the habit lost
Piece of mind, pieces of mine, fuelled by dawns sweet daylight lie,
Give me a line and i'll pull you through, as the silver hours shiver for you
Wrap them up, and send them back, on a broken ship with lifeless helm
Dewdrops for the nephilim, singing Jesus won't you let me in?
I'll cast you down, to the rigmarole, sneaking a laugh
You're so very drole
December days sparkle in you, I don't have to tell you what you want me to
Concubine sees, missives minds eye
Days in December, just pass on by.
Submitted: February 11, 2007
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Nick Dwyer
Another 5.
Sat, February 17th, 2007 3:18amIf I wasn't so drunk and it wasn't so late I'd query your rhythmic meandering from the mean at times.
"The twilight rain, this winter haze, the tangled heart's soliloquoy
Forgive me there, i'm not forgot, to the precious hours of the habit lost"
would have more funk at heart as
"The twilight rain, this winter haze, the tangled heart's soliloquy
Forgive me there, I'm not forgot, to precious hours of habit lost"
But that would be churlish of me to quibble. This is aesthetically whole and very very full of genuine poetic image making. You have talent.
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Thanks, appreciated as ever.
Sun, March 11th, 2007 4:35pm