The Marvelous Misadventures of Howard and Shirley

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Old People have adventures.

Submitted: April 06, 2011

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Submitted: April 06, 2011

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Chapter 1 A Saturday Drive:

Howard Jones was 76, his wife Shirley was 72. They drove around in a 1957 Oldsmobile every Saturday for 4 hours. On one Saturday, the old couple was pulling up to a stop light. The light changed to red. This was one of those days for Howard. His foot was hurting, but Shirley didn’t know that so she yelled “PUT YOU’RE FOOT ON THE BRAKE HOWARD!” Howard responded with “I’M TRYING SHIRLEY MY FOOT IS HAVING A SEIZURE” Then he slammed the brake and the couple crashed into the stinky Sorg Paper Building, because they were going so fast.

Chapter 2 The House: Howard and Shirley live in a small house in Middletown. They have a statue of a black squirrel in a racing outfit in their front yard, along with other statues. One day, while Howard was watching Wheel of Fortune and Shirley was at the bank where she worked. “Hey Squirrel take out the trash!” Howard yelled. There was no response, so Howard shouted louder “SQUIRREL TAKE OUT THE DARNED TRASH!!” suddenly the door opened and Shirley walked in the garage door. “HOWARD STOP YELLING AT THAT UGLY SQUIRREL AND AKE OUT THE TRASH YOURSELF!” she screamed at him. So Howard did the trash, on his way back in the front door, he tripped over the squirrel and broke his back on the sidewalk.

Chapter 3 The shower: Two days before the couple left for an extended vacation in Florida, Howard was in the shower. Shirley was watching Jeopardy, but she stunk like a pig, and needed a shower, so she yelled “HOWARD GET OUT OF THE SHOWER I STINK LIKE A PIG!” Howard responded with a loud “HOLD ON A MINUTE SHIRLEY, I’M WASHING MY FEET SO THEY LOOK PRETTY FOR FLORIDA!” then Shirley shrieked “YOU’RE FOOT WOULDN’T BE PRETTY IF YOU SOAKED IT IN MAKEUP!” and so Howard got out of the shower and Shirley got in.

Chapter 4 The Missing Key: Howard and Shirley pulled into the drive way after their month long Florida Vacation. Howard walked up to the front door, and reached into his pocket for his key, but it was not there. “SHIRLEY DO YOU HAVE THE SPARE KEY?” he shouted. “NO I DON’T GOT NO DARN KEY WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT HOWARD?” Shirley shouted back. Suddenly Howard had a flashback. The Spare key was sitting in their beach house in Florida, and the real key was sitting on the kitchen counter inside the house he stood outside of. He informed Shirley of his deed, and she screamed “HOWARD YOU ARE AN IDIOT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” then she pulled out her cell phone, one of the first ones ever invented, and dialed 911. Then right when the operator answered the phone, her denchers fell out, and the spare spare key flew off the top of the denchers


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