He was lying there staring at the starry blackness above him. What was he doing there? He knew that he made a terrible mistake. The warm spring breeze blew passed him as his thoughts went back to the one woman who had brought all this about. The one woman whose lies and lustful acts made him make the wrong decision, just so he could please her. But now what had that brought him. Nothing more than years of anguish and pain, which he had silently endured. He never spoke of it to her, for in a way, the only thing that he had left that was his own was his thoughts. And that was something, which he was determined to hide from her no matter what. In fact that was exactly what he had done, pretending that everything was all right and not letting her get to him. The more he done this, the more aggravated she would become. When he looked at her so many questions filled his mind. But the main one that he seemed unable to was; why in the world did he marry her? Of course, now that was something, which he didn’t have to worry about any more. For the divorce had been final now for a week and she had moved away to a town twenty miles away from him. She had said that it was so she could be close to her family. Yet, he knew that it was so she could be with her lover. And that really didn’t bother him, for he was free of her. Free to love again and write the stories, which she had always thought as evil and perverted. Of course she was one of those born-again, bible-thumping Christians, who never listened to others people’s opinions. For that didn’t matter, only the belief which she held for herself. Now Sam was free of her at last, and nothing seemed to worry him any more.
He remembered the day she left, not saying good-bye or even looking his way, just getting in her car and driving off. It seemed odd to him that she was acting that way, but why should he worry about it any more. It wasn’t his responsibility to worry about her well fare; she had given him his freedom to do what he wanted. A few days later when he walked down the business district of town, he had run into a few of her family members that lived in town. Each of them that he had met at different times of the day had the same concerned expression on their face. Asking where she was? When he would tell her that she had left town and said she was never coming back, they were horrified.
“How could she do something like that?” her aunt had said.
“After everything that we have done for her, she doesn’t have the decency to even say good-bye.” Her uncle said.
But Sam didn’t have any answers for them, for how could he know what she was thinking anymore? The only thing that he was concerned about was getting his life in order. And that was exactly what he was going to do. He would just simply tell them and anyone who would ask, that was just the way she is. Some new attitude that she got and was going to live her life that way. He had no idea if that was the truth or not, even though he really didn’t care.
He never noticed how many people really didn’t even care that she was gone. Or even cared that she was in town as a matter of fact. She was the woman that everyone ignored and just went on with their lives. Sam was one of them for sure. He had already gotten his second novel published and sent a copy of his next book to his publishers. A book of short stories that he had written over the last couple years. Stories that he had never shown her, even though she never would have found interest in them anyway.
The more he lay there in the tall grass in the field, the more he found himself thinking about the past. Thinking about the ways that she had taken everything away from him without any remorse or pity. Trying to make him turn on his family, taking him away from his friends, making him lose his jobs and then finally wearing away his will and belief of himself. Just so that she could get what she wanted to make herself happy. Even though she was saying that it was for them and their best interest. That was nothing more than a lie. Sam knew too late in life that words like those have no meaning. They are nothing more than words, which are said just to cover up the real truth. And also how he had always ended up doing everything just to make her happy. But after a while she expected it from him and he started to feel more like a slave than a husband.
But like he kept saying to himself, those days are behind him now. He had nothing to worry about anymore. Even though his anger toward her still lingered within his soul, he didn’t let it bother him. He just tried to forget. To bury his past, as his friends advised him to do. At first he had no idea how he was suppose to do it. Of course that was before she had left good. Now thought, he understood what they had meant and felt like a new person, ready for whatever challenge would come to him. He knew when he got back into town that he would have to thank them for that. For if it wasn’t for them, he would have just continued to brew over the pain and anger which had consumed him so much. Making him feel like there was nothing that he could do to end this torment. But he had buried his past, it was the only thing that he could do. Buried it so deep that it would have been a mystery to even himself of where it had gone. And in a way that was exactly what he wanted. For the first time in the years that he had been married to her, he had done something that he wanted to do. And didn’t let anything stand in his way of accomplishing it.
Slowly he stood up and dusted the loose dirt off of him. The warm country night air seemed to call out to him. Like some sweet melody that he would hear on the radio. He always loved coming to this spot when he needed to think or just get away from everything that was bothering him. But now he had a different purpose for this place. To remind him that he needed to forget about the past, for there was nothing that he could do about it right now.
His eyes glanced behind him at the large pile of dirt that sat a feet from him. Thinking how something like that would soon turn into tall grass and no one would ever know that it had been there. That it was nothing more than just part of this vast empty field that people come to with their loved ones to share a moment of passion, or to hide within in it and get drunk or high. Sam though knew that this was a special place for him. A place where he had finally been able to find the way to bury his past and live on. Bury it so deep that no one would find it. And in time he would never miss it either or even remember it. For why should he? As he walked back to his car that was parked on the side of the dirt road, he could only think of one thing, which ran through his mind.
“I finally buried my past. And I hope that she rots in hell when she gets there. She finally got what she deserves. That is all that I wanted to see happen.” He thought as he remembered how warm her blood felt on his hands.
When he reached his car he got in and then drove back to town. Never again would he come back to this place or even speak her name to anyone. For in his mind she was dead. Dead to the world, which was the one thing that she truly deserved to happen to her.
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