WORDS NEVER SAID

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

Just the sight of her brought about such emotions which I never thought I would feel again. But in the end, I would end up alone within my own world.

Her hair is short, now, lips forming a welcoming smile from across the room. The smell of candles, wood and nature fills the air and I wished I didn't have to leave. She nods in acknowledgment and within that moment, it felt no time passed between us. A feeling which I had never experienced before. At least not with any other woman in my past, after her. Of course Elizabeth was not any ordinary woman to me. All that we had shared and had become so close within the four years we were together. Something so special which I hadn't been able to find with any other woman I tried to be with. And now, I was in the same room with her, closer than I been in our years apart. Still, there was distance between us, which I wished wasn't there. Wanting to know is she still wore the same perfume she had before, if her voice was still the playful and angelic and gaze into those green eyes again. Just to see if there would still be those same old feelings from the past we shared. Even though it was foolish to think that, the thought was there. In a way, I believed that I would, because I could feel it, just looking at her....I could feel it.

As I stood there, I felt like I really didn't belong there. Surrounded by critics and of people of the art world. Why I was there, was something which I couldn't understand, for this really was not my world. Yet, I was there because I made a name for myself in the literary world as a popular writer. The only reason I was here....was to see her again. To see the woman who had awakened so much in me, bringing a new way of life, as well as love, I'd never find again. (Or what I thought.) Just seeing her and so happy was what I wanted to see. Even though there was a part of me that wanted her to still feel the same. Even though, the way she looked at me, hinted about that. Still, I wasn't sure about it....only assumed what it could be. Or maybe, it was a hope which I kept deep within my soul, that would be true. Which, I tried not to think to much of it, for fate was a secret mistress, hiding my fate....all I could do was to hope. Still, I wish I could go to her and talk to her. More than just brief conversations we had tonight so far. But it was her art show, showing off her latest work which brought to the public.

Watching her talk to people in this bizarre art gallery, seeing how nervous she was right now. Another reason which I could talk to her....to ease her mind. But this was her moment and she had to meet and greet all that came to her show. Something which I knew too well from the book signings, conferences and press parties I had to attend. The nervousness, the pressure to impress everyone I met and hide my true feelings. And that was what I could tell that she was possibly feeling. In my soul, I could feel the urge to go to her...to hold her in my arms and whisper to her how proud I was for her. Even though other might had said that to her, to me it would be more than just words to her.

Looking at her, I could see her casually looking in my direction, smiling slightly. But there was something else in her face. Something which was bothering her, which I could not comprehend. Mainly because, all the time we sat and talked for hours....walked hand in hand on the streets of Chicago. We opened our souls to each other....sharing all our secrets....our fears...our dreams. How we shared everything, never afraid to be ourselves....and looked beyond the physical attraction we had between us. The walks which he had taken in Grant Park, talking silly and serious as well...and even Millennium Park as well. The more the visions which came to me, the more my mind became consumed by it....absorbed by it. Each moment that came to me, I felt every emotion...the intensity of love I felt for her. Still feeling the same intensity which never left my soul for her. For what we shared was something so special that no one could ever take away.

There was one image which was so strong in my mind....that had stayed locked away within the recesses of my brain. One that was locked in my heart as well. Every detail etched within my soul.....for it was something so special which enchanted me.

We lay within the disheveled sheets which covered us. The feel of her body against mine, while I lay on my back...her head resting on my chest, my fingers running through her long amber hair. We lay there in silence, holding each other so close, as the light gray shadows loomed within the room. Within that moment....and when we did make love, we gazed into each others eyes so passionately. Feeling we were so close to each other, closer than anyone could ever be. All our defensive blocks gone, all the world sees us as shed away....leaving only our innocence before each other. And when I gazed into her eyes....and she gazed into mine, we became lost in a world of our own.

But that was years ago....and I couldn't find a woman like her after that. Or maybe, it was that I didn't want to be that way with. That was something which I wasn't sure of.

My eyes looked away from her and over at one of the paintings she created, of an elderly woman sitting on a front porch. Around her was goats, while on her lap was a baby goat....her hand stroking its back. Without even looking at the title of it, I knew what it would be for the painting. In my mind, three words came to me..... Old Goat Lady. When I looked at the plaque on the side of the painting, those three words were etched on it. Just seeing it brought a smile to my lips. For I remembered how she joked around about how she would grow up to be a goat lady. Something like the rumors of a woman becoming a cat lady, which I was sure was out there. But, I wanted more for her than that, something special...so true, to continue to touch her heart. That was the one thing which I kept so close to me. Something my heart...my soul....couldn't let go of.

It was then my eyes turned to another painting close to me... which made my soul suddenly drop. It was a portrait she had done of me, when she was back in art school, The portrait of me with a silver spoon on my nose and the image of he as a child in its reflection of its surface. Remembering when I first saw it and how it was hung in the hallways of her college. But mostly, the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice with such pride, lifted me up so much. I knew I was her inspiration, back then as she was mine. But this painting was even more detailed than the original. (That is what I remembered.) Beyond it was the image of the covers of the few novels which I wrote.

As I stood there, staring at it, I wasn't sure how I should react. Inside me such love....such pride burned in my soul. Yet, there was something else which I wasn't sure of. A feeling that started to haunt my soul, that I never thought I could feel. The more I stared at the painting....the more I found myself drawn into the memories of her...of Elizabeth....the woman I had fallen in love with before.

Why was I feeling this way, after all the years apart? Why am I drawn to this painting so much? In fact...how did I get here?” I thought.

Questions which I couldn't find the answers to. Without even thinking, such emotions filled me....consumed me...to the point I couldn't resist. Enveloped within the emotions of that which came over me.

It was then my attention turned back to Elizabeth moving toward me. Yet now, there was something more than what I had felt a moment ago. Something dark...with her expression didn't show, but her eyes did. Not sure what it could be...feeling powerless for a moment. Still, it lingered in my soul....wanting its shadows to be revealed. Or maybe it was just my own imagination...my own anxiety which was making me feel this way. Was this real? Or just a haunting figment of my imagination? With each step Elizabeth took toward me, I could feel my heart pounding harder and harder. To the point which I believed it would explode through my chest. Why was this happening? That was if there was a reason for what I was experiencing. No matter if I could find the answer or not, really didn't matter. The only thing which did was Elizabeth and revealing to her how I felt about her. Even though I had no idea what it could be I would say to her. What do you say to someone who you still love, even after being parted for so many years? Oh, how could I have let her go? What a fool I was to do that! The most painful thoughts which plagued my mind.

Oh God, seeing her come to me, in that sultry red dress, awakened my heart once again. Like what I had always dreamed would happen when we met again. Seeing the excitement and joy on her face and the wantonness in her eyes. Yet now, it was so different...for it was all replaced with misery and sadness on her face and dread within her eyes. I had no idea why she could be looking that way and in a way was afraid to know what it could be she was thinking. My body shivering in fear, not really sure why I feel this way either. The only thing I could do was to wait and see what would come about. Even though, deep within me, I really didn't want to except it. Still, I knew it was something which I needed to know. Or maybe I didn't....and was not willing to except it. Just looking at her, I found myself wanting to reach out to her....to hold her in my arms and feel her body against mine again. Still, there was something which brought about a sense of dread to my soul, which I couldn't ignore.

Talk to me, Elizabeth.....please talk to me.” I whispered under my breath.

It was then I heard her voice, so soft and painful, as a tear ran down her cheek.

Oh Mark...why did you leave me. I loved you so much.”she said.

Elizabeth....I'm here...can't you see me?” I said in a scared voice.

But it seemed like she didn't hear me at all, or was ignoring me for some reason. Of course, Elizabeth would never ignore me...always wanting to be there for me...to help me no matter what. What the hell is happening? Why can't she see me...I'm standing right next to her. My mind could not comprehend what it could be what was happening. Feeling a sudden sharp pain surging through my chest....so strong I felt like I couldn't breath. It only lasted a brief second...the biggest anxiety attack which I ever experienced. As it slowly started to pass, I heard her speak again...something which shocked me...not wanting to believe it.

Why did you have to die Mark? Why did you have to leave me?” she said as she started to cry.

It was obvious that her attention was drawn to the portrait of me which she had created. A personal dedication...to the one man who changed and touched her life so much. I looked over at a mirror near us, seeing the image of me slowly starting to fade, leaving her standing there alone. My God, I'm dead...I can't believe it. My hand reached over and touched her shoulder, feeling her body shivering in terror and then stiffening. She cried even harder as she walked quickly out of the room. Leaving me standing there alone...even though I was alone already...alone from the living world...which I yearned to stay with. The only thing which I regretted, was never being able to say the words which I had wanted to say to her. The words which now would be trapped within my soul for all eternity. Now, I had to leave, to journey to the other side, to a world which I had no idea what it could be. Even though it might be heaven...it will be a painful hell...because she will never be with me again.

 

THE END!!!


Submitted: December 01, 2014

© Copyright 2021 Michael68. All rights reserved.

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Comments

ruicamacho

kick ass plot twist. I loved it. I think you're writing is beautiful. I will definitely learn from you. Please tell me what you think about the first chapter of my novel, I could use your feedback :P

Tue, December 2nd, 2014 3:20pm

LadyKarissa

This is great Michael. I finally got a round to it but let us change genres please. You have talent and I have told you this time and time again. Try writing a romance or love story. Lady Karissa

Mon, December 15th, 2014 12:54am

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