The first man I ever loved

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
A poem about my first true love and how much of an impact it had on my life even to this day. I hope he is doing well and I wish him the best. I am happy for him and for his wife and children even if he thinks it's just a lie. I have always wanted him to be happy, with or without me and that's what I got, but it mean being without the one I loves so much. Life is hard and love is one of the most difficult and hurtful of emotions. That's what inspired me to write this poem of him and our love we once shared. He will always be a Brother to me regardless.

Submitted: May 05, 2015

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Submitted: May 05, 2015



There once was a young man named Eric who I met by chance.

We became good friend and knew each other very well,

So well he knew what I was thinking just by a glance.

Over time we became more alike, Brothers we would say.

Slowly over time he would be with me each and every day..

But as chance would have it Eric was more than just a Brother,

he was someone I confided in and loved like no other.

One day after school we met as usual and went to his room,

we watched TV and waited for his Mom who would be home soon.

To my surprise he reached over and touched me in a peculiar way,

I wasn’t offended in any way and it affirmed the desire in my heart that day.

For I had secretly fallen in love with Eric long before and wanted more

that beautiful day when Eric would show his love behind closed doors.

It was his Mother who we both feared who would end our love,

for Eric was afraid of her knowing the truth and what would come.

Years went by and no one knew and our love for each grew.

Then reality set in and Eric grew afraid, afraid of who knew.

He was scared of the choices and love for me that he had made.

He joined the Army to prove to himself and other’s he was a man

just as I had done years before thinking and having the exact same plan.

But I was fooling no one including myself those days

for everyone that I knew had already known that I was gay.

Eric grew more distant till we stopped talking altogether

In his mind it was his last hope of ridding me and his secret even better.

I have not spoken to him now for a decade or more

But I will never forget the love we had behind closed doors.

Eric will forever be my first true love and now that is done

but he is the one that for years made life so much fun

Each night I dream of the love we once had

And every day I awake to the reality and feel rather sad.

But all is not lost for I have hopes that one day

Eric and I will be friends again, so each day I pray.

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