A Desperate Cry

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
I just need some guidance and ways to go forward.. I didn't know where else to post this so I decided to come here after looking at multiple websites.

Submitted: July 11, 2019

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 11, 2019



I want to be successful, I want to be successful, I want to be successful.

I want to be a millionaire, I want to be successful in whatever I choose to prowess in.

I’ve failed and I want to stand up and fight for my life and moreover fight for the comfort of my family.

I’ve let them down, I’ve ruined their lives, I’ve denied help several times.

Am I sick? Most likely.. Can I recognise it? No.

I’m at the crossroads of my life..

Is there anything I can do to achieve my goals?

I’ve been lazy, foolish and I’ve amounted to nothing in life at 20 years old..

Yes 20 years old..

Time has passed me by and I’ve maintained the attitude of saying “I hope” instead of “I can”.

I need serious help, I’m in the darkest and deepest moment in my life right now.

I’m in a battle with my body but I allow my body to win despite the fact my soul should be stronger.

I’m falling deep, I’m falling..

I need to become better and fight for myself, I need my soul to become stronger than my body.

I feel terribly ashamed I’ve let so many people down.

My parents, my sisters, other external family and friends.

What do I do?

Now is the make or break of my life, I’m half broken but I can stand up.

I want to fix everything, I want to stop wasting my life and repay my debts.

What do I do Lord..

Please help me fix my life, I shouldn’t be going through what I’m going through but through my own fault, look at me now.

I’m rock bottom looking for directions on where to go next when I had a whole foundation behind me supporting me and giving me directions.

I threw my foundation away and followed what I believed in and it led me to the deep depths of a living hell.

To everyone that may read this, I use this as a sincere apology note.

I will become a millionaire, I have the intelligence to do so.

I’ve made mistakes but I will definitely change from here out after such a traumatic experience.

I need to become better mentally and physically and I will.

I need to become smarter and I will.

I need to stop pushing people away and I will.

I need to stop denying help because of my own ego and I will.

I understand many will not believe in me now.

I don’t blame you.

My parent’s cries and work wasn’t enough to make me decide to work hard.

That says a lot about the type of person I am.

I desperately need to improve and be the person I’m supposed to be.

This is not me, this is not the person I intended to be. I didn’t wake up in the morning thinking, “I want to be useless.

Now is the time to make a change..

This is my do or die.

I will not die.

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