My life, Unraveled.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Childhood, to now.

Submitted: October 05, 2012

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Submitted: October 05, 2012

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I resemble my mommy, but have some traits from daddy.

They left each other when Joe was around 10 years old,

He started crying…but i remembered what I was told.

Mommy and I were even close back then,

She told me right from wrong,

Abc’s and 1 to 10.

So when she knew she and daddy were going south,

She told me straight up,

“Things aren’t going right, and Joe doesn’t know, so don’t open your mouth!”

This happens a lot,

To many kids,

But to me it didn’t faze me one bit.

Then the time came,

Were he had to move out,

I just smiled and laughed,

But in my head all I could do what scream and shout.

I never told anyone how much I truly missed him,

Looking in his empty room days later,

I couldn’t believe he was gone…

“I pray that things will get better.”

Nothing was better and till this day,

I spend some nights crying because nothing will ever change.  

Joe never got over their divorce,

He couldn’t take it,

He almost ended up in court.

This is when he started acting up,

By 13 he turned into a little punk.

Trying to be cool and always getting drunk,

Party’s every weekend,

My house got trashed, and filled with junk.

Dad always cared, and hated the way Joe looked,

But by this time it was too late,

Joe was already hooked,

Then that one day came,

Where I was all alone…

Mom didn’t care she just sat there, and talked on the phone.

Dad has a drug test,

Ready for Joe,

I had to piss in the cup for him, because he “said so.”

I’ll never forget how much no one cared…

I’ve never been so depressed before,

I spent hours, just hiding and crying on my bedroom floor.

It was mean and terrible and I’ll never forget it,

Mommy didn’t care,

She still kept getting Joe beer and drugs,

She still will never regret it.

I would pray to God in my bed at night,

That everything around me would become alright.

It’s so funny,

Because nothing ever changed.

Things got worse,

Joe would hit me, harder and harder,

Until I was almost carried away in a long black hearse.

I always knew he loved me though,

In his mean, cold heart.

I never thought he would want to hurt me…

Just tear our love apart.

It made me feel like a loser when he was gone,

I knew there was nothing else to do,

But just wait…

Maybe someone will know and help me escape,

Or maybe I’ll be stuck here forever,

In this cold, heartless place.

After a few months my depression grew,

The scars weren’t just on the inside of me,

They were on the outside too.

I wanted it to be kept a secret,

But that ended soon…

7th grade I was caught with scars,

I ended up in a hospital gown.

Those scars on my arm never really reflected how I truly felt,

They just represented all those times,

You made my heart melt.

After that I was sure everything would be alright,

I would get help,

And there wouldn’t be any more reasons to have any fights.

Even though i wished this,

It never came true,

I was stuck in my house,

A crazy, fucked up, looking zoo.

Daddy tried to help though,

And tell Joe to stop hitting me,

I loved him for that,

Because he actually trying to be a good daddy.

He tried for a while,

But like always,

Nothing ever changed,

Till this day I’m still stuck,

But I’m trying to stay strong, and be brave.

~Miichelexoxo


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