THE DIARY(Elizabeth's confessions)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
THIS IS A TRAGEDY...PLEASE BARE WITH ME, I AM TRYING SOMETHING NEW. PLEASE READ IT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. I AM OPEN TO CRITICISM AND OPINIONS!

Submitted: January 21, 2009

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Submitted: January 21, 2009

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SHE WAS IN THE TUB, A WINE GLASS IN ONE HAND AND IN THE OTHER, A DIARY. TEARS ROLLED DOWN HER CHEEKS, BLURRING HER VISION. THOSE TEARS TURNED INTO HEART WRETCHING SOBS,SHE NEEDED TO CRY, NEEDED TO FEEL THE PAIN. AS THE SOBS SUBSIDED, SHE TOOK A MOMENT TO COMPOSE HERSELF. GLANCING AT THE DIARY, SHE FELT A FRESH WAVE OF GRIEF WASH OVER HER. THIS DIARY CONTAINED ALL OF HER DARKEST SECRETS, ALL OF HER MEMORIES. SHE WAS GOING TO LEAVE IT FOR HER HUSBAND AND CHILDREN ONCE SHE-” OH DEAR GOD! GIVE ME STRENGTH.’ SHE PLEADED SOFTLY. SHE SAW THE RAZOR BLADE SHE HAD SET AT THE EDGE OF THE TUB, AND CLOSED HER EYES. ONCE SHE WAS GONE, THE DIARY WOULD BE HER FAMILY’S PROPERTY AND SHE WAS SORRY ABOUT THE PAIN SHE KNEW IT WOULD CAUSE THEM. SIPPING THE LAST OF HER WINE, ELIZABETH BLACK, OPENED THE DIARY FOR THE LAST TIME…….

ELIZABETH BLACK, BEAUTIFUL ,YOUNG WITH LUSTROUS RAVEN BLACK HAIR, MESMERIZING HAZEL EYES AND A SENSOUS SMILE ENTERED THE ROOM. ALL EYES ON HER, FOR SHE WAS INDEED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT THE PARTY. ALTHOUGH SHE WAS FLATTERED, ELIZABETH HAD EYES ONLY FOR HER HUSBAND, JONATHAN BLACK, SUCCESSFUL WRITER. ELIZABETH WROTE ABOUT THAT DAY, DESCRIBING IT AS THE LOVLIEST NIGHT OF HER LIFE. SHE DANCED AND SHE HAD THE MOST WONDERFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH THE MOST FASCINATING AND INTERESTING PEOPLE. AFTER THIS NIGHT, LATER EVERYTHING WOULD GO WRONG….

THE BLACKS LIVED IN THE COUNTRY, IN A BIG COMFORTABLE HOME WITH ALL THE LUXURIES THEY COULD EVER WANT. THE SERVANTS EVEN HAD THEIR OWN QUARTERS AT THE BACK OF THE HOUSE. LIFE CONTINUED NORMALLY FOR THE BLACKS. ELIZABETH SPENT HER DAYS ILLUSTRATING PICTURES FOR HER HUSBANDS BOOKS, WHICH CONSISTED MOSTLY OF FANTASY TALES, ADVENTURE TALES AND EVEN MYSTERIES FOR CHILDREN. THEY WORKED AS A TEAM AND ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. ON WEEKENDS AS WAS THE CUSTOM FOR THE BLACKS, ELIZABETH’S ONLY SISTER, JASMINE CAME TO VISIT AND STAYED OVERNIGHT. ON ONE PARTICULAR VISIT, JASMINE NOTED THAT ELIZABETH WAS A BIT OVERENTHUSIASTIC. WHILE THEY SAT AT THE PATIO DRINKING COFFEE, AS WAS THEIR CUSTOM AFTER DINNER, SHE DECIDED TO ASK HER....

ELIZABETH SMILED, EYES TWINKLING “YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN AUNT!” JASMINE WAS ECSTATIC. SHE RUSHED FORWARD AND EMBRACED HER SISTER CONGRATULATING HER SINCERELY….

 

ELIZABETH HAD TWIN GIRLS A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER. THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRLS WITH ELIZABETH’S BLACK HAIR AND JONATHAN’S BLUE EYES. JASMINE HELPED THE FAMILY WITH THE BABIES FOR AWHILE….-

A SUDDEN NOISE BROUGHT ELIZABETH OUT OF HER REVERIE. SHE FROZE, SCARED THAT SOMEONE WOULD FIND OUT ABOUT HER PLANS. A FEW MINUTES WENT BY AND NOTHING HAPPENED, SHE SIGHED RELIEVED. SHE WENT BACK TO THE DIARY. DREADING WHAT CAME NEXT…

ALL WENT WELL ENOUGH AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT EIGHT YEARS. JASMINE HAD GONE HOME, BACK TO HER JOB, AS A PHYSICAL THERAPIST AT A LOCAL CLINIC

FINALLY JASMINE FELL IN LOVE WITH A PHYSICIAN WHO WORKED WITH HER.

THE DAY THAT JASMINE APPEARED AT HER DOOR WITH HER FIANCE, DR ALLAN LOWE, WAS BOTH THE WORST AND HAPPIEST OF ELZABETH’S LIFE. IF PEOPLE COULD BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND THE TERM LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, THEY WOULD NOT USE IT LIGHTLY. WHEN ALLAN AND ELIZABETH’S EYES MET THE LOVE WAS INSTANT AND SO INTENSE THAT SHE FELT DIZZY AND UNBALANCED AT ONCE.

LUCKILY, IN EVERYONE’S EXCITEMENT TO MEET JASMINE’S HUSBAND TO BE NO ONE NOTICED. THE EVENING WENT BY AND ALL THE WHILE BOTH ALLAN AND ELIZABETH TRIED TO STOP STARING AT EACH OTHER AND CONCENTRATE ON THE ISSUES AT HAND, SETTING THE WEDDING DATE AND OTHER SUCH DETAILS. THE TASK WAS SO DIFFICULT THAT ELIZABETH ENDED UP EXHAUSTED AND RETIRED EARLIER THAN USUAL.

EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT AFTER HAVING MET HIM. ELIZABETH TRIED TO GO ON WITH HER LIFE BUT FAILED MISERABLY AND SOON FELL ILL. HER FAMILY WORRIED ABOUT HER AND SOON DR LOWE HIMSELF WAS SENT TO SEE HER.

ALLAN TRIED HARD NOT TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING INAPPROPIATE BUT HIS DETERMINATION FAILED HIM AND SOON THEY WERE IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS, KISSING AND CARESSING, WHILE THE OTHERS WERE OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT WAS HAPPENING.” ALLAN, THIS CAN’T BE- ELIZABETH SAID OUT OF BREATH, HER HEART POUNDING WILDLY IN HER CHEST. ALLAN STOPPED TO LOOK AT HER, NODDING SOLEMNLY, A LOOK OF PURE ANGUISH IN HIS DARK EYES. HE LET GO OF HER AND CALLED FOR JONATHAN, EXPLAINING THAT SHE WAS MERELY SUFFERING FROM PHYSICAL FATIGUE, RECOMMENDING REST FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS. JONATHAN THANKED HIM PROFOUSLEY, NEVER THE WISER TO THE REAL CAUSE OF HER SUDDEN AILMENT.

JASMINE AND ALLAN’S WEDDING CAME AND WENT AND EVERYTHING WAS UNDER CONTROL, OR SO ELIZABETH THOUGHT. THAT IS, UNTIL THE DAY SHE DECIDED TO DRIVE INTO TOWN ON HER OWN AND DO THE SHOPPING HERSELF, INSTEAD OF SENDING THE SERVANTS LIKE USUAL. ALLAN HAD GONE TO THE SAME SUPER - MARKET FOR SOME FRESH INGREFDIENTS JASMINE HAD SENT HIM TO BUY. HE WAS SO INVOLVED IN WHAT HE WAS DOING HE DIDN’T SEE HER UNTIL SHE STUMBLED INTO HIM. “I AM SO SORRY MI- HE STOPPED COLD AS SOON AS HE SAW HER FACE. ELIZABETH PALED VISIBLY AND SHE FELT THE WALLS MOVING AROUND HER. ‘ ELIZABETH, ARE YOU ALLRIGHT? HE ASKED REAL CONCERN ON HIS FACE. SHE JUST NODDED DUMBLY UNABLE TO SPEAK A WORD…. SUDDENLY, ALLAN COULDN’T STOP HIMSELF AND MADE A MISTAKE, A MISTAKE THEY WOULD PAY FOR DEARLY. HE LEANED FORWARD AND WHISPERED IN HER EAR. “ COME WITH ME, ELIZABETH, LET’S NOT FIGHT WHAT WE FEEL.” ELIZABETH’S EYES FILLED WITH TEARS, SHAKING HER HEAD WEAKLY. ALLAN DESPERATE TO EMBRACE HER TO KISS HER TO LOVE HER IF ONLY ONCE, INSISTED SOFTLY, SOOTHINGLY, IMPLORINGLY.

ELIZABETH DROVE TO HER HOUSE, LEFT HER GROCERIES AND DID WHAT SHE NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD DO. SHE LIED TO HER HUSBAND AND SHE BETRAYED HER OWN DEAR SISTER… SHE AGREED TO MEET ALLAN AT A SAFE DISTANCE FROM THE TOWN. SHE SILENTLY DROVE WITH HIM AND GAZED OUT OF THE WINDOW AS THEY LEFT HER FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS BEHIND. A MILLION THOUGHTS WHIRRLED THROUGH HER MIND AND SEVERAL TIMES SHE HAD THE URGE TO JUST JUMP OUT OF THE DOOR, BUT THE LOVE SHE FELT FOR ALLAN BLINDED HER.

ELIZABETH AND ALLAN LOVED EACH OTHER COMPLETELY AND WITH AN INTENSE PASSION THEY HAVE NEVER FELT BEFORE. ONCE SHE HAD ARRIVED, SHE WENT TO HER ROOM CRYING SOFTLY. SHE KNEW THEY WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO GO BACK, THE DAMAGE WAS DONE….

BOTH ALLAN AND ELIZABETH SAW EACH OTHER FREQUENTLY LOVING EACH OTHER.GIVING THEMSELVES TO ONE ANOTHER, IN SPITE OF BEING AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THEY EACH BELONGED TO SOMEONE ELSE. EVENTUALLY ONE THING LEAD TO ANOTHER AND ELIZABETH FOUND HERSELF PREGNANT AGAIN, AND WHILE EVERYONE JONATHAN AND JASMINE INCLUDED WERE THRILLED, SHE KNEW IN HER HEART OF HEARTS WHO THE FATHER REALLY WAS…….

 

JASMINE FELL FATALLY ILL, A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE ELIZABETH’S THIRD CHILD WAS BORN. IT WAS DEVASTATING FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY TO SEE POOR JASMINE IN SUCH A DEPLORABLE STATE, BUT THAT WAS WHAT CANCER DID TO YOU. ELIZABETH WAS INSANE WITH GRIEF AND HER TWIN DAUGHTERS TRIED TO SOOTHE HER AS WELL AS CHILDREN CAN. ELIZABETH DEDICATED HERSELF TO HER FAMILY AT THAT TIME, COPING BETWEEN BEING A DEVOTED MOTHER, HER ADVANCED STAGE OF PREGNANCY AND COMFORTING HER SISTER AS MUCH AS SHE COULD, TRYING HARD AND FAILING TO NOT FEEL GUILTY. …

AS DESTINY WOULD HAVE IT JASMINE DIED THE SAME DAY THAT ELIZABETH WAS GIVING BIRTH TO ALLAN’S FIRST CHILD, A BOY. ELIZABETH SAW IT ON JONATHAN’S FACE AS SOON AS HE WALKED IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM. TEARS STREAMED DOWN HER FACE. SHAKING HER HEAD SHE SCREAMED “NO! JASMINE! NO!” NURSES CAME RUSHING IN AND HAD TO SEDATE HER… AFTER THIS DAY, ELIZABETH WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. ALLAN CAME TO VISIT THEM MORE OFTEN NOW THAT JASMINE WAS GONE… ALLAN COULDN’T GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS, HIS WIFE WAS DEAD, HIS ONE TRUE LOVE WAS SUFFERING AND ALL BECAUSE OF HIM…. HE DECIDED TO END HIS LIFE…..

ELIZABETH, WAS GOING INSANE, IF SHE TRIED TO SLEEP SHE WOUD HAVE NIGHTMARES, IF SHE STAYED AWAKE SHE WOULD FEEL THE GUILT INVADE HER MIND AND SOUL...HER SISTER DEAD, THE LOVE OF HER LIFE, DEAD. AND HER CHILDREN? AND HER HUSBAND? SHE KNEW SHE WAS BEING SELFISH, SHE KNEW HER FAMILY SUFFERED FOR HER, NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS WRONG. HOW COULD SHE GO ON LIKE THIS?….

ALLAN CAME TO VISIT HER IN HER DREAMS. HE TOLD HER HE WAS ALLRIGHT. HE TOLD HER HE LOVED HER AND THAT SHE SHOULD TRY TO BE STRONG FOR HER FAMILY WHO NEEDED HER THE MOST. ELIZABETH TURNED TO, HIM,TO TELL HIM SHE COULDN’T, THAT SHE WASN’T STRONG ENOUGH, NEVER WOULB BE; BUT THEN HE WAS GONE. THAT EVENING, SHE WOKE UP CRYING, SAYING HIS NAME SOFTLY. FINALLY AFTER TOSSING AND TURNING SHE FELL INTO A DEEP DREAMLESS SLEEP…

 

SHE WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING WELL RESTED AND FEELING BETTER THAN SHE HAD IN MONTHS. NOW SHE KNEW WHAT SHE MUST DO TO MAKE IT RIGHT. SHE DRESSED CAREFULLY AND WALKED INTO THE LIVING ROOM. SHE SPENT QUALITY TIME WITH HER FAMILY….

 

THE WATER WAS GETTING COLD AND ELIZABETH SHIVERED INVOLUNTARILY, SHE HAD COME TO THE END OF THE DAIRY. SHE GRABBED THE PEN SHE ALWAYS KEPT INSIDE OF THE BOOK AND WROTE…. AS SOON AS SHE WAS FINISHED, SHE REFILLED HER WINE GLASS AND DRANK DEEPLY SAVORING HER LAST DRINK……

HER HUSBAND, JONATHAN FOUND HER TWO HOURS LATER; HE CLUNG TO HER,

SOBBING DESPERATELY…..

AT HER FUNERAL, HER CHILDREN ALICE AND VERONICA BOTH GIRLS OF TEN AND MATHEW, WHO WAS ABOUT TO TURN TWO.,STOOD SOLEMNLY,THEIR FACES SOMBER, EYES RED FROM CRYING THEY TURNED TO LEAVE.AS SOON AS THEY GOT HOME, JONATHAN REMEMBERED THE DIARY HE HAD FOUND IN THE BATHROOM. HE SAT DOWN ON A CHAIR IN THE PATIO AND READ IT….

AFTER HE READ IT HE SAT DOWN IN SILENCE. HE FELT FLASHES OF ANGER AND GRIEF, HE FELT BETRAYED AND CHEATED…YET AS HE GLANCED TOWARDS THE SWINGS WHERE HIS CHILDREN SAT, LOOKING LOST AND AFRAID, HIS HEART SOFTENED AND HE KNEW HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, ALL OF THEM, CHERISHING AND LOVING THEM…. HE READ ELIZABETH’S LAST WORDS AGAIN AND NODDED TEARS WELLING UP IN HIS EYES; “ YES, HE WHIISPERED,” I FORGIVE YOU BETH, AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT MATHEW, HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY SON.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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