To Love or To Hate

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
About a teenage girl, who hates her mom and ends up sleeping with her mom´s boyfriend.

Submitted: July 16, 2012

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Submitted: July 16, 2012

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To Love or To Hate

Every morning I think about why I should get up in the first place, but when you got a fucked up mom and a world that’s always against you, what’s really the point in it at all. It’s like the world is turned upside down and everything is against you. You’re dying to get out, but I guess you’re trapped in your own shit and just have to accept, where you stand in life. Mom was a psychologist, so she thought she could fix everyone and everything, which made her a really hard person to live with. Mom and I were always late in the morning, since she had the trouble getting me up on time. Mom loved her job. Me on the other hand, I hated school and would rather sleep all day and party all night long. Almost every day I went into the schools bathrooms and sat on loos, cutting my wrists with a razor blade I got from home. I really didn’t have a petechial reason to it. I just sometimes felt the need to do it.

This Thursday afternoon I was called in to the principal’s office and he gave me detention for two weeks for skipping school. I went outside and mom waited for me in the car, looking really upset.

Mom and I sat in the car, driving home and I sat on the front seat with my iPod, listening to music.

“The principal told me you got detention…again.” Said mom with her eyes on the road, but I could tell she was mad.”

“Mom, it’s nothing.”

”Nothing…Sam, you cut almost every class this week and that doesn’t even count the last month.” Mom was mad, but she was also in the same time worried for me too. “What’s going on with you?”

I didn’t want to say anything, because she would just find out about me cutting myself in the loos and if she found out, she would ask me why, treating me like one of her patients and I just want her to leave me alone. Mom could see I wouldn’t give her an answer, so she just let it go for now.

“Well, for changing the subject. I have an important thing to tell you, Sam.”

“What about?” I asked while still listened to my music.

“Can you take those out, please?” Asked mom looking at my headphones with her serious look and so I just took them out.

“You know I’ve been going out with this man for a while.”

“So…” I said with not a care in the world.

“So, I asked him to come this evening to meet my daughter and he would love to meet you.”

I was speechless. I couldn’t believe my mom’s freaky boyfriend was coming over for dinner and I had to be there. This was a nightmare that wasn’t going to end. I haven’t seen her boyfriend before, but he must be a nutter for dating my mom.

We got home and mom started to clean and setting the table right away.

“I want you to be nice when he comes over.” Said mom, setting the table for dinner with our finest set of plates, as it was the queen we were having over for tea.

“And no swearing.” Said mom, but I just started laughing. “You understand, Sam?”

“Sure mom. I got it.”

It rang on the door and mom happily opened the door to let her stupid boyfriend in. A tall man stepped inside our front door. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and he’s got dark brown hair and brown eyes. He wasn’t even old. He was young, like in his thirties and not a bad looking one either. He was so fit. Why would a guy like him date my mom, when she’s much older than him? He came closer to me, stopped right in front of me and held out his hand.

“I’m Nathan.”

“Sam.” I said, as I shake his hand and smiled to him.

That night we sat down laughing and talking together. I almost forgot he was dating my mom and I won’t lie. I really did fancy him. A couple of days later I was walking home from school and saw my mom’s boyfriend Nathan taking a car. I crossed the road and stopped by the car, before he had the chance of taking off. Nathan saw me and told me to get in the car. I knew it was fucking stupid to get into the car with him, but I just went for it.

“You just nicked this car, didn’t you?”

“You’ll keep this from your mom, right?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” Nathan Asked, while he watched the road.

“I was on my way home and I saw you nick this car.”

“I sell them to others.”

“So, you’re a car thief.”

“Call it what you want. I make good money.” Nathan said, making a smug smile.

I couldn’t believe this was my mom’s boyfriend. He was just simply too cool to be dating her. So why did Nathan date my shitty mom in the first place? He might be a guy who was nicking cars for a living, but he was so fucking hot.

“So, will you keep your mouth shut about this?” Asked Nathan, as we pulled into a warehouse, where he probably kept his nicked cars. He stopped the engine and then looked at me, waited for me to give him an answer.

“Okay, but you’re going to do a thing for me first.” I said and smiled to him. As I leaned over to kiss him, Nathan resisted at first, but then he also kissed me back and we began snogging in the car. He had very soft lips and we started to take our clothes off, when Nathan saw my cuts on my wrists.

“Where do those come from?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I said and started to touch him and then we were shagging. He was so gentle to me and in the same time there was a feeling of heat and passion that rushed right through me, warming my sweaty body all over. By the time I came home all the lights were off in the house. I carefully opened the front door. Mom was probably in bed, so I slowly walked inside, making sure mom didn’t hear me. But when I came to the stairs the lights turned on in the living room, so I walked in to see. I saw mom sitting on the couch. She looked really pissed at me and I wanted to run upstairs, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea at the moment.

“Do you know what time it is?”

“I know…I’m sorry.”

“It’s two in the morning, Sam!!” Mom yelled and raised her voice even more. I never saw her so mad. This was a new side of her. “I almost called the police. I was really worried about you!!!”

“I said I was fucking sorry!!! I yelled back at her and turned around and walked up the stairs, but mom followed me. 

“Don’t walk away from me, Sam. And I told you, I don’t want to hear you swearing!! Instead of swearing, how about telling me where you were tonight.”

“I was just out with a friend.” I said and made it up the stairs and walked to my room. “We went to a club and afterwards I walked home.”

Mom looked at me still pretty upset, but then she walked over and hugged me. I guess she was more worried than mad and just relieved to see I was okay.

It was Saturday and mom had gone to work, so I could sleep in. But later in the day it rang on the door. I went down to open, still wearing my pyjamas and looked really sleepy. When I opened the door, Mom´s boyfriend Nathan stood on the door step and I wondered why he came here, when he probably knew my mom worked at this time of day.

“My mom is not here right now.”

“I know. He said and gave me a little smile. “Can I come in?”

I didn’t know what I was thinking, because my mom came home soon. But stupid of me, I let him in anyway, which I shouldn’t have done.

“What do you want? I said sounding half asleep. “You know, I was sleeping upstairs.”

Nathan came over to me and kissed me with such a passion that it completely took my breath away. We ended up in the bedroom with a heat of passion and temptation of love, but unfortunately mom barged in through the door to her bedroom and caught Nathan and me in the bed.

“Nathan. How could you do this to me…with my own daughter?”

“Lauren, please let me explain.”

“I think I got everything covered, right Sam.” Said mom and looked at me with a raging face showing in violent anger.

“Right…” I said and was really embarrassed and ashamed.

“I thought you loved me.”

“I do. Said Nathan trying to keep himself together of what he did. “But…You see…”

“Don’t. I get it… I understand. You think I’m too old, so you picked something younger.”

Mom broke out in tears and slammed the door after her. Nathan didn’t say a word. He just kept staring at the door. He probably felt too guilty to talk right now and too ashamed as well. He put on his clothes and headed out the door without a word. I heard the front door was closing and Nathan´s car driving off in a great speed. I put back on my pyjamas and slowly walked down the stairs. I saw mom in the kitchen doing the dishes and bravely, I just walked right in. Mom saw me came in and she still made that raging face. I sat down at the kitchen table and she kept staring at me with her angry eyes.

“Whatever you’re going to say, I’m not interested.” I said and just sat at the table looking unsympathetic.

“How could you, Sam.”

“I don’t know. It just happened, okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. You know I liked that guy!”

“He’s too young for you mother.” I said looking down on the table and sounding careless to her. “Besides I like him too and he looks way better with me.”

“How can my own daughter be such a tramp!?”

“I don’t know! When I find her, I’ll ask her!”

“I can’t believe I ever gave birth to you!”

“FUCK OFF!”

Mom got mad and got tears in her eyes. She went out the front door, slamming it and drove off in such a hurry. I was really pissed too, so I stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to my room. I threw things around to react to my anger, which didn’t help much. But later that night my phone was ringing.

“Is it safe?” It said on the other line, but I could hear that it was Nathan on the phone.

“She’s not here.”

“I’ll come in then.” Said Nathan on the phone and I saw him pop up from outside on the roof and in through the window to my bedroom. It looked really weird, because I’ve never seen a guy in his thirties coming in through the window. I saw Nathan was having a bag with him and he could hardly get it in through the window as big and heavy as it was.

“Come away with me.” Nathan said when he was through the window and sending me a serious, but happy look.

“I thought you loved my mom.”

“I did, till I met you.”

Nathan was smiling to me with his charming smile, but I still wasn’t convinced.

“Was that before or after the shagging?”

“You think I only came here to fuck you.” Said Nathan and then grabbed a hold to me and looked right into my sky blue eyes. “I love you Sam.”

When he said he loved me, I almost blushed and felt really happy inside. So I kissed him and almost forgot where I was.

“I’ll start packing.”

I started throwing some of my clothes and other stuff in a bag, when I heard my mom pulling into the driveway. Nathan wanted us to tell my mom that he and I were going away together, but I told Nathan to hide behind the door, since I wouldn’t throw it in her face right away, when she’s still pissed at me. I heard mom came up the stairs, so I quickly threw the bag under the bed and told Nathan to stay quiet.

“Sam, have you heard from Nathan?”

“Why?”

“Well, you slept with him.” Said mom and looked around all suspicious. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t get a hold of him on his phone.”

“I haven’t seen him.” I said trying to stay calm and not to blow it all.

But then we heard Nathan fucking sneeze behind the door and mom looked confused and tried to see what that noise was. She looked behind the door and saw Nathan standing there stunned.

“Nathan!”

“Hey, Lauren.”

Mom turned and looked at me. She looked mad and sad at the same time, but then she looked back at Nathan and slapped him on the check.

“You dirty bastard!”

“We didn’t sleep together.” Said Nathan and was holding his left hand up to his cheek. “

“What…”

“Nathan came for me.” I said and showed mom Nathan´s bag and mine. “I’m running away with him.”

I took the rest of my clothes and shoved it in my bag. Mom just stood there and didn’t say one word. She was shocked and speechless and saw me walking out of the room with Nathan following with me. Mom came down the stairs crying and saw us go out of the front door.

“I’m sorry Lauren.”

“Goodbye mom.” I said, as I was walking out and getting into Nathan´s car. Seeing my mom in the door looking all sad and crying her eyes out, didn’t bring me down at all. I looked at Nathan instead and saw a new beginning in sight, as we were driving out in the horizon.


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