World Down There

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic
Have you ever wondered, how the fates of all on Earth ar decided? What, exactly, is fate? Perhaps, just perhaps, in that world up there, the gods are gambling with the fates of the living. Would that be what we call tempting fate?

Submitted: December 11, 2012

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Submitted: December 11, 2012

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Why, you there, loitering around, hello, hello! Welcome to the Deity Den! Well, you must be new here, you look so lost! Let me tell you, this gambling den is the only one you’ll find here in this sacred new world you’re in. What are you, a Havoc Deity? Or an Amity Deity? Well, either way, you are going to have flying-carriage-loads of fun in here. Who knows, you might even make it big! Ha! Although... You do have that sort of nose –– No, no, don’t cover it up! You have that characteristic nose that all those chosen unfortunate mortals have... if you know I mean. Oh, you don’t? Well, no matter. You’ll understand soon enough. So! Shall we go in? Come on now, don’t be shy, and don’t be scared. Remember, you’re a deity now! You’re a god! You can leave all your mortal fears behind; you are so, so much more powerful now than you were then. You’ll taste that power in just a minute.

Well, here we are at the Deity Den Crossroad! There’s no need to be overwhelmed by all the different paths, you’ve got me. Lucky you, ha-ha! Plus, there’s a whole panel over there on your right which’ll tell you where they all lead. Huh? How many paths are there, you ask? Oh, just about a thousand or so, give or take five hundred. The path titles are terrifyingly specific. Anyway, if you’ll just refer back to the panel, path number 1 over there is labeled “Americans”. That’s where you’d go if you want to gamble with the fate of all the Americans in the world. Path number 2 is “Americans in America”, and path number 3’s “Americans who are overseas”. My personal favourites are paths 189 through to 213; those are all the ‘blonde’ categories. We’ve got your dumb blondes, smart blondes, bleached blondes, fat blondes, blondes of average intelligence... See my mortal life was made hell on earth by an astonishing number of blondes; now I gamble with their fates, and I earn money off it too! Man, revenge ain’t just sweet, it tastes a bloody lot like gold too. Ah, shucks, so you were a blonde mortal too? Well, we were getting a little off-topic anyway; I’ll bet you don’t give two hoots about my preferences. Oh, how opportune! Here we are at the all-time favourite, path 1127. Here, we’ve got your unborns-slash-fetuses. Let’s go in, shall we? It’s the best place to learn the ropes.

Impressive, ain’t it? Yeah, it’s like the entertainment hub up here. Noisy, too. Oh come now, don’t stand there gawking like a silly fish with bug-eyes, my tingling left nostril tells me another newcomer’s at the entrance. Ah, I see your wide eyes are drawn to the screens, eh? But I really do have a sequence to follow; there must be order even up here, even in a celestial gambling den. Hey, you’ve just come from down there, haven’t you? You should know this. How many babies are born each minute there? How disappointing. I’m usually quite a good judge of intelligence. Huh. Well, it’s 250 on average. Now you can say you’ve learnt something your first day up here. But we don’t have any more time for general knowledge, I’ve got a lost deity at the entrance! Here’s how you play. There’s a new game every minute, and you pick a fetus –– one of those about to be born as soon as the 60 mortal seconds are up. You place your bet on its fate, and –– hey man, could I borrow a die? Thanks –– the dice are rolled. See? There’s born in taxi cab, stillborn, dropped by incompetent doctor, dropped by incompetent nurse... Strangled at birth, even born to be abandoned in a dirty ditch by a dirty blonde! That’s my favourite. And here comes the best part! At the end of each minute, the births of all 250 (or so) babies are featured on the screens, exactly as the dice decreed. Amazing, isn’t it!

Now, now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What! Even the babies? The pure, harmless, innocent, adorable little babies?” That’s what all the newcomers think. Just goes to show how much mortal life softens you. But hey, they’re unborns. Technically, they’re not even real! Ha-ha! Ha-ha –– oh Jesus that newcomer’s an impatient one! Well, this concludes your guided tour around the Deity Den then. Think you’ll be alright? Fantastic, I’m taking that as a silent yes. I’ll just be on my way then.

What? Don’t grab me like that! What’s that? Well of course this is the real deal! Why else do you think that world down there’s not just candy canes and gumdrops?


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